


A Dog for Daniel

by HorriblyObsessed



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Beaver Creek, Christmas, Dogs, Drinking, Drug Use, Esteban is a good dad, Esteban is trying his best, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Family, First Kiss, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Sexuality Crisis, Sexuality Discovery, Slow Burn, Smoking, Trauma, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Violence, a dog for Christmas, angsty Sean, past trauma, self discovery, sexual awakening, sexuality realization, wholesome moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:00:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 43,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21862585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorriblyObsessed/pseuds/HorriblyObsessed
Summary: As Stephen and Clair are getting on in years, an accident that almost resulted in Stephens death reminds the both of them that they are not going to live forever.Christmas approaches and Esteban gets an interesting letter that resulted in a phone call to both Reynolds.It’s been 8 years, and they have had close to no contact with their grandchildren or their grandchildren's father.They had lost contact after Esteban made it clear to both of his ex wife’s parents that he wants nothing to do with them…But after a long, emotional conversation with both elderly people, Esteban finds it in himself to forgive...and agrees this Christmas, they can all come together, and be a family.Although his two other family members were able to forgive and forget so quickly, Sean is not having it.Take this anger and resentment and toss it together with raging teenage hormones, a brother who’s annoying the life out of him, and frustration with his father for planning this trip in the first place, and you’ve got a recipe for a disaster....But this trip to Beaver Creek would soon prove to not be ...TOO bad … when Sean makes a few unlikely friends while at the Christmas Market, looking for gifts.
Relationships: Daniel Diaz & Chris Eriksen, Daniel Diaz/Chris Eriksen, Sean Diaz & Finn, Sean Diaz/Finn
Comments: 186
Kudos: 277





	1. Open mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic so...I hope you all like it, sorry if it’s not great lol
> 
> That’s all

“Are we there yet??” 

That was it. 

Sean was gonna snap. 

If he had to hear Daniel ask that question in that winney voice one more time? If he felt that size 5 light up sketcher kick the back of his seat one more time? If Daniel kept obnoxiously squirming around in the back seat of their fathers old beat up truck? 

Sean was gonna snap.

Sean was going to lose it, and it would not be pretty. 

With his usual calm tone, Esteban replied to his youngest. 

“Not yet, but we will be there soon, another hour tops. I promise when we get there you will be the FIRST to know, hijo.” 

Another hour?! That was it. 

“Dad, we need to stop at the next rest area.” 

Esteban looked over at his eldest with a small raise of the eyebrow. 

“Why? What's wrong?”

Sean decided it was better to lie right now than tell his father what was really on his mind of ‘If I don’t get away from Daniel this second, I’m gonna crawl back there and strangle the kid to death.’ 

“I’m just not feeling good, I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

Sean laid his head back and squeezed his eyes shut in ‘pain’.

Although that performance of Sean’s was not very convincing, as he was never the best liar, and Esteban could read through even the best lie of his eldest like a book, he decided to let Sean get away with his lie. 

Maybe it would be good to stop at a rest area and let Daniel stretch and run around...and the idea of letting the tense atmosphere that's been sitting around the three of them for the past 3 hours disperse from the car, wouldn’t exactly be a bad idea. 

Esteban simply nodded. 

“Alright, sit tight. There is a rest area in about 5 miles. We can get out, get some fresh air and let you settle.” 

A sigh of relief swept from Sean’s lungs as he knew the torment of this road trip would soon come to a halt, even if just for a short while. 

These five miles couldn’t have passed quick enough. 

Once parked, the three boys found themselves to be the only ones out there. 

The rest area consisted of a public bathroom with a vending machine just outside the doors, a few trash cans littered around, and 2 picnic tables on the grass patch that stretched from where the parking lot pavement ended, to where the forest trees became dense. 

Daniel was the first out of the car. Quick on his feet, Daniel made a b-line straight for the vending machine.  
Sean took this opportunity to get as far in the opposite direction as possible.  
Esteban followed his youngest with a small laugh at his excitement for the sugar he surely did not need, knowing his eldest needed a minute alone to breath.

Sean found a seat on the damp, wooden picnic table. It wasn’t wet enough to ruin his pants or anything, just wet enough to be mildly uncomfortable...because of course, you can't have everything. 

He took this opportunity to pull out his phone and shoot a text to his best friend. 

‘Hey, wyd? You busy?’ 

The reply came instantly. 

‘Nah, I’m around! Glad to hear from you!!” 

Sean laughed a little. 

‘How’s it goin so far?’

Of course she had to ask. 

‘Absolute shit-storm’ Sean replayed, adding an emoji with rolling eyes to Lyla. 

‘Lol  
Oh come on it cant be that bad!!’ 

‘Ugh no trust me, it is. I’m still bullshit you couldn’t come with us.’

The Diaz’s were on their way to sleepy little Beaver Creek, Oregon.  
It was kind of a last minute idea, thrown together for the three to go down to Oregon after Esteban got a very interesting letter that he never expected to get. 

Stephen and Clair Reynolds were the mom and dad of Karen Reynolds-Diaz, ex-mother and father-in-law of Esteban Diaz, and forgotten grandparents of Sean and Daniel Diaz. 

After Karen’s little stunt of just disappearing without any kind of explanation to her family, abandoning her loving husband and children, Esteban in a very heart broken state, completely cut ties with anyone related to Karen. He made it very clear to both elderly people he wanted nothing to do with them, and did not want them in the lives of his children. It was just far too painful to see them and have them around now that Karen was gone. 

Overall, it was a very bitter and devastated conversation that ended in both groups deleting the contacts of one another to forget about the other.

It has been almost 8 years since that had happened ...But it was at the end of November, that the Reynolds had broken the silence. 

Clair and Stephen together had contacted Esteban through a letter with a phone number written on the bottom, that resulted in a phone call, that ended in a very heartfelt resolution. 

Apparently a few weeks before the letter was written and sent to the address the Reynolds had never truly forgotten, both had experienced a wake up call, that made them realize and re-think many things. 

Stephen had gotten into an accident.  
While working on his model trains, he had gone into his old, heavy, wooden, wobbly cabinet to grab a little screwdriver, and he was crushed underneath the cabinet, as it had fallen on him. 

The cabinet had broken 3 of his already feeble bones, and crushed 2 of his fragile ribs.  
Clair wasn’t strong enough to lift the case off him, so she ended up having to call the police to come rescue her husband. 

Once taken to the hospital, Clair was informed that Stephen would have to go under the knife, as one of his ribs had been crushed inwards and had punctured his left lung.

A horrifying idea that scared both Clair and Stephen beyond belief. 

Although the surgery was a success and Stephen was already out of the hospital by mid-December, the experience made Clair and Stephen realize...they were not going to live forever…  
A fact they had always known, but only now had just truly understood and realized after Stephens brush with death. 

Over several days of thinking, they both came to the conclusion that, although there is nothing they can do to prevent the inevitably of death, they didn’t want to die with regrets.  
One glaring problem of a regret, being not having fought harder to see their grandchildren, whom they still loved very dearly. 

They had talked for hours on the phone, and by the end of it, they had convinced Esteban to find it in his heart to forgive, and realize that the man and woman were just as heartbroken over karen, but it was not their fault what she had done.

Apologies were passed around and stories were told, but by the end of it all, all three adults had agreed that it was time to put resentment to rest.

Christmas was coming quickly, and they had all together come up with the idea that maybe it was time to have a Reynolds/Diaz Christmas. Maybe it was time for Daniel to meet the grandparents he doesn’t remember. Maybe it was time for Esteban to forgive and forget. Maybe it was time for Sean to reconnect with his lost grandparents…

...and although the idea was fantastic, and most of the party was equally excited to meet up again, Sean was less than pleased. 

Maybe they could all forgive and forget, but it was not gonna be that easy for Sean. 

When Esteban had first told Daniel and Sean what their Christmas plans would be, Sean was more than shocked and borderline furious. How could his dad just get over everything and let go and forgive them?! Sean was just as pissed at them as he had been his mom!!  
It took several days of convincing, before Sean was even remotely willing to think about agreeing to go on this trip. It was only when they had made the deal that Lyla could come along with the three of them on this trip that he agreed to go willingly. 

But of course, nothing can ever be that easy, and exactly 3 hours before they had planned on take off for Beaver Creek, Lyla’s mom had pulled a 180 and refused to let Lyla go with them on their trip when just yesterday she was totally fine with it.  
Something about not wanting being comfortable with Lyla running away to another state for 2 weeks…

Sean could kind of understand, but was still completely bullshit about it. 

Now to defend himself from the annoyance of his brother, the frustration he had towards his father for planning this trip, and the resentment he had towards the Reynolds was the small earbuds that reached from his phone and blasted his music in his ears. 

‘I know...I’m sorry dude, idk what happened!! Sometimes my mom can be a total bitch...you know how it be with her…’

Sean just let out a sigh as he texted her back. 

‘Yeah...still...it sucks so much  
This is gonna be a slice of hell, the next 2 weeks’ 

Sean ran a hand over his face as he waited for a response. 

‘Oh don’t be like that grinch  
I’m sure its gonna be ok  
Just give it a chance! Open mind man~  
If you go into this telling yourself it’s gonna be shit, than it’s gonna be shit! Just keep an open mind  
Who knows? Maybe you’ll have fun!!  
And if you ever need a break from everyone just give me a call!!  
My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas so I’m not really gonna be busy or anything lol’ 

Sean laughed a little at the text. She was so awesome, always the optimist.  
Sean couldn’t ask for a better friend than Lyla. 

Just as Sean was about to respond, he felt an arm around his shoulder.  
He jumped and looked over to see his father. 

“How are you doing hijo? You feeling better?” 

With one more deep breath of the fresh air, Sean nodded a little. 

“Yeah...I’m alright…” 

“Ok, good. Do you want anything from the vending machine?” 

As Sean thought it over for a second to think of what might be in said vending machine isn’t he first place that he would want, he suddenly heard the voice of his younger brother in his ear. 

“Are you texting Lyla?? Can I talk to her?” 

Sean whipped his head over to the other side where daniel stood next to him. Daniel had a smudge of chocolate on his cheek from the choco-crisp he had gotten from the machine. Sean shut his phone off quickly. 

“No, quit it, you little shit.” 

Daniel pointed a finger then at Sean and looked to their father 

“Sean swore!!” 

Esteban just rolled his eyes with a small laugh. 

“You’re such a snitch.” Sean bit back at daniel. 

With no come back to think of, daniel just stuck his tongue out at him childishly. 

“Alright alright, cut it out.” Esteban laughed at the bickering between the boys. “Do you want something from the vending machine or not?” He questioned again. 

“...yeah, i'll go grab a bag of chips or something…” Sean said as he rose to his feet. 

His dad gave him a dollar and with that Sean found himself striding over to the vending machine. 

Daniel and Esteban both piled back into the car, allowing Sean to go off by himself to have just a few more moments to himself before the next hour of this far too long car ride. 

The machine took his dollar, Sean punched in the code for a bag of chips, and he took his sweet ass time getting the small bag out of the machine, and walking back to the car in slow strides. 

He took a few more deep breaths to collect himself before getting back in the car reluctantly in the passenger seat next to his father. 

‘Open mind man’ Sean thought to himself, recounting lylas words. 

‘Open mind.’


	2. The House

Daniel was a little timid in front of this new person he had only met once when he was a baby, but anxiety quickly melted as Clair wrapped her youngest grandson in a sweet grand-motherly hug and offered him some fresh baked Christmas cookies. 

Clair may look a little intimidating, and from what Sean can remember she is a pretty strict woman, but once she saw Daniels sweet little face, she was flooded with grandma instinct she had thought she had lost over these last 8 years. 

All she wanted to do was warm up all three boys in hand-knit quilts and sweaters and feed them handmade cookies till they were at least 10 pounds heavier. 

You know; the normal grandma shtick. 

Sean may have still have resentment towards these people...but no one can resist a grandma hug; They are the single best hugs in the world, right before dad hugs. So when Clair came in for a hug for her eldest grandson, Sean couldn’t help but reciprocate. 

The hug lasted what felt like hours as she rocked sean back and forth in her arms and mumbled to Sean things like “you’ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!!” And “what a handsome man you’re growing up to be” And “you're so skinny and cold, sean, come have a cookie.” 

Once she let go of Sean, the next hug went to Esteban.

With Clair distracted with Esteban, sean entered the kitchen to go find his brother, using the sweet smell of cookies to lead him forward. 

In the kitchen he found not just Daniel, but their grandfather as well. 

Stephens appearance took sean back a little…

He was in a wheelchair.  
Sure that makes sense, and it's something sean should have expected since both of his legs were broken, but it still was a hard hit to see him like that. 

Sean may still have resentment towards these people...but with the sweet memories from his childhood of running in the backyard with Stephen chasing him around ingrained into his brain, it was very hard to see him in a wheelchair that was clear he still had a hard time controlling…

Walking over, Sean gave a timid hello, to which Stephen responded with a firm handshake and a warm smile.

It seemed oddly, that while outside was freezing cold, the Reynolds house radiated warm heat, paired with warm cookies, warm hugs, and warm smiles.  
It was not going to take long to get comfy here. 

The afternoon was mostly filled with stories on the couch to catch up on, cookies to eat, and luggage being moved up to the second floor of the house. 

It had been decided that Daniel and Sean were gonna sleep in the same bed in the guest room, and esteban would take the air mattress they would blow up in the living room after dinner. 

They had expected Clair to order a pizza for convenience sake, but she insisted on making them a home cooked meal. 

She also insisted Daniel help her, in an attempt to help settle the boy who was on a sugar high after his father had bought him 6 candy bars.  
The idea was good in nature; wanting to distract daniel with his favorite candy so he wouldn’t whine anymore the next hour they drove...but in hindsight he should have seen that the consequences of this action would result in his youngest going absolutely crazy off sugar. 

Esteban and Sean spent their time without Daniel chatting with Stephen, and texting a few friends to assure them that they had made it to the Reynolds house safely. 

That night they had a homemade lasagna and a side salad. 

Sean would be lying if he had said he didn’t enjoy dinner that night…

Although the prayer before dinner was a bit odd for Sean and Daniel as that’s just not something they did in their house, the food was good, everyone was nice to one another, and the house truly did feel like home...even if it was very different from their true home in Seattle. 

Being there kind of felt right…  
It was kind of nice to see the grandparents...

It felt amazing to eat something other than take out/drive through junk like they had been doing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past two days it took them to get down to Beaver Creek. 

Clair fed Daniel like his life depended on him finishing two big plates of lasagna, and no one was really complaining when it resulted in daniel falling into a food coma with a full belly at around 8. 

Sean would never tell her this, but as he lay in his bed beside his brother, he admitted to himself that Lyla might just have been right…  
Maybe this trip would be ok…  
He can never tell Lyla this though because she will just add it to the list of things she’s been right about to recount to him, every time she feels the need to remind sean that she is always right.

…  
Maybe things would be ok…  
…  
If Sean could just stop having the nightmares this house brought on….

This place was warm, and comforting ...but his mind seemed to be somewhere else, and didn’t seem to get the memo that this place wasn’t a place of horrors….

The bed was soft, the blankets were snuggly, and the room was nice and dark ...But Sean just couldn’t get his mind to turn off…and when he could turn it off and drift off to sleep, all he had was nightmares.

Nightmares plagued him every time he fell asleep…  
But not only that, they were the same nightmare over and over…

The dream would start off warm ...With him being a child again in the living room of his grandparents' home. His father sat with his mother curled up to his side. She was pregnant. Clair and Stephen watched Sean with loving eyes as he would play on the floor.  
People talked but there was nothing they said. It was all nothing but mumbled words that fell from the mouths of adults. 

The dream almost felt real, like a memory from long ago ...but after a moment of comfortable silence between the people around him ...things would get weird to say the least. 

From the floor he would find himself standing up and he was no longer a child. He stood with the adults. 

Something called him into the kitchen again, a silent yell, and behind he would leave that lovely warm room.  
Things would get slow and cold the farther he went from the living room but he couldn’t turn back, and he couldn’t stop moving…

Entering the kitchen he entered the kitchen of his home in Seattle. 

This time he saw Daniel sitting on the floor, the same age as he originally was in the Reynolds living room when the dream began. Instead of loving parents and grandparents cooing around him, he sat alone in the cold. 

Something seemed wrong, but Daniel seemed none the wiser. 

Music came from Sean’s room, and he moved slowly past daniel, and into the kitchen. Behind the bar that separates the kitchen from the living room, he found his father, laying his body against the bar, tears streaking his face. He held a picture in his hand that radiated warmth next to him, glass of the frame broken, and cut into his father's flesh. It was a picture of Karen. 

Sean couldn’t stop for his father though, even though he wanted too…  
He found himself continuing to follow the song into his room. 

The song was slow. 

The song was cold. 

He didn’t think it could get colder from the living room, but walking into his room he felt true frozen air. 

He saw himself, laying in his bed, fists balled up and covering his eyes. Toes curling in frustration. Mouth quivering as he forced it to stay shut, and forced himself into silence as he cried. 

His room was freezing and the coldness was radiating from himself. 

His skin was shattered and cracked and broken like the glass of the picture frame that held the picture of his mother from the kitchen that his father held. 

Sean watched himself cry before he suddenly was plunged into darkness as everything disappeared.

Now were his other self once sat, he saw his mom. 

Her eyes were cold. 

Her eyes were dead. 

She looked disappointed in sean, she looked angry with sean, she looked disgusted with sean. 

Sean felt himself cry as he watched her disappear into nothingness and leave behind nothing. 

The music stopped.  
Everything went still. 

And suddenly, Sean’s own screams echoed and reverbed back to his ears. 

The screams were violent, painful, angry, and it hurt his throat just to listen too. 

It was stained, it was painful, and he didn’t realize it was coming from himself, until he noticed he couldn’t close his mouth. 

Screeches and screams and eardrum shattering shrieks seemed to come from his lungs naturally for what seemed hours till he woke up in a puddle of his own cold sweat. 

He would be back in the Reynolds house …sitting next to daniel, who was still fast asleep with a small smile on his face ...both in the dark.  
The same inky black that he continued to scream into.

Even now when he would wake up, Sean could still hear his own screams of anguish.

Trying to go back to sleep after waking up was almost impossible.  
Waking back up in tears from a rerun of that dream was inevitable every time he fell back asleep. 

After the 5th time over of waking up from that dream, Sean gave up on sleeping for the rest of the night...even though it was only 11P.M. 

The rest of his night would be full of sketches and sitting by the window where the moon light would keep the room from darkness. 

He stayed awake. 

He drew until his mind went blank and his hands refused to stop cramping. 

Then he just sat, and would think...and think...and think way to much. 

This place was so warm… but why did HE feel so cold? 

This house was starting to get to him... It brought up too many memories.... and too many reminders.


	3. Good Morning

Daniel was the last to wake up that morning. 

Clair and Stephen had woken up early at around 6. It was a wonderful Sunday morning and as they usually do on Sunday mornings, the elderly couple would be meeting a few of their friends for breakfast before they all went to church.  
The couple would be dressed and ready by 7. 

Although Stephen and Clair were trying to be as quiet as possible, as not to wake anyone, they did wake up Esteban while trying to get Stephen safely down the steps from the bedroom. It was a mystery to Esteban how Clair had gotten her husband upstairs in the first place while he was in this condition.

Over coffee, the three discussed the plan for today.

Today they would decorate the house for christmas, maybe get a tree and hang the ornaments!

Daniel would wake up at around 9:30.  
The last one up, but the first to find that Sean was not where he should have been. 

Assuming his brother was downstairs with the rest of the family, he stumbled his way out of bed and down the stairs to the kitchen. 

Esteban was sitting at the table alone, scrolling through facebook when Daniel came down. 

“Buenos días, Daniel.” Esteban's voice rang out. 

With a slow hand, Daniel wiped sleep from his eyes, using his one uncovered eye to scan the room. 

“...Where’s Sean??” 

“....well, I thought he was still asleep upstairs with you” 

“No...I thought he came down for breakfast…”

Everything went still. 

Everything went quiet.

Anxiety instantly shot though Esteban like a bullet.  
Every parent's nightmare is to be in unfamiliar territory and to lose your child.  
He instantly stood up and with panicked eyes started looking through all the different rooms he could be in, muttering curses under his breath. 

He knew sean hadn’t wanted to come on this trip, was it possible he was so miserable on this trip he decided to run off to get away from everyone?? 

Sean seemed to be having a good time last night, he thought at least. Did something happen with Clair and Stephen during the night that might have made his resentment stir up, resulting in him running off?  
No..  
There was no way, Clair and Stephen would have brought it up this morning if they had talked with Sean any time last night. 

This didn’t seem like sean to run away if he had.  
Sure Esteban could see his son was going through a patch of teenaged angst lately, but he didn’t think it was THIS bad to run away! 

How was he gonna find Sean if he WAS gone?! He didn’t know Beaver Creek! He didn’t know Oregon!! 

Daniel frowned and followed his dad around as he frantically searched for Sean, or maybe some evidence of where he was. 

“Dad, what's going on?? Why are you so freaked out??” 

Esteban didn’t answer. Daneil was still too young to grasp the weight of this situation, and esteban had no time to explain it to him, his son was missing!  
But he did try to slow himself down.  
He didn’t want to worry daniel or freak him out.  
He took a deep breath. 

“I am just trying to find Sean...He has me very worried.” Was all he said in the calmest tone he could muster.

Once every room was checked THOROUGHLY, Esteban threw on his jacket and some shoes and started his search outside. 

He started in the backyard. 

When he opened the door, he was instantly assaulted with the cold harsh winter air. It had snowed last night.  
It was cold out, and he saw that sean didn’t seemingly take any supplies with him outside other than his shoes and a jacket! If he had run away, he could be getting frostbite by the second!! 

In the backyard he had seen nothing, not even foot prints! 

It was when he quickly turned around to go through the house to go out the front door-...

That he smelt it. 

Worry turned instantly to relief, then anger. 

Cigarettes. 

He followed the smell till he found it. 

Sean was sitting on the roof, smoking a cigarette, headphones in, listening to music, watching over the town as the world began to wake up. 

He saw how sean got up there.  
Sean’s temporary room on the second floor had a window.  
He had opened it and climbed out onto the rooftop. 

Esteban was furious to put it lightly. 

“Sean!!” He yelled, but sean didn’t hear him. 

Esteban yelled two more times, but when he still couldn’t get Sean’s attention he tried something new. 

Sean was suddenly hit with a snowball and instantly he was taken out of his dreamy state he had been in while watching the sunrise. He jumped in fear and looked all around for the thrower of the snowball that brought him back to reality, only to see his angry father looking up at him.  
Sean pinched the bridge of his nose and put his cigarette out in the snow on the rooftop. 

Busted. 

Esteban yelled at him to get down, and Sean obeyed.  
What else was he supposed to do? Stay up there and piss his dad off even more?? He was already in trouble for smoking, and ‘sneaking out’, don’t want to add on blatantly disrespecting his request. 

He slowly made his way back into the house through the window. 

Esteban met him at the end of the stairs. 

Sean had one earbud still in his ear, he looked casual.  
He thought his dad wouldn’t make a scene in front of Clair and Stephen! No way!  
…  
It’s too bad that Clair and Stephen weren’t there. 

“Get your ass down here. Now.” Esteban growled. 

Sean looked around to see if his grandparents were around, to see if they were just as mad or if they would stick up for him maybe??  
But he was greeted with nothing but the evil smile of his little brother. 

“Ooooooo! You’re in trouble!!” Daniel laughed. 

“Daniel! Not the time!” Esteban snapped at Daniel. 

...Ok, now sean was starting to see the weight of Esteban's anger...He almost NEVER raises his voice, let alone raise his voice at Daniel. 

Sean bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to show weakness, trying to stand tall. 

Esteban stood there, arms crossed as he waited. 

Sean didn’t make eye contact as he stood in front of his father. 

“Wanna try and explain yourself, hijo?” 

“...” 

Esteban took a deep breath. 

“Sean, why were you up on the roof? And smoking a cigarette of all things?! You know how I feel about those!! You know how WORRIED I was?! I thought you had run away!! Do you know what that’s like?? To be a parent with a missing child?!” 

“I wasn’t missing, I was on the roof.”

“Yeah! And I didn’t know that!! It took me 20 minutes to find you!! 20 minutes!!” 

Sean just groaned and tried to walk away, passing into the living room to get to the kitchen. 

That’s when esteban grabbed his arm. 

“Look at me.” 

Sean didn’t. 

“Sean…” 

Sean didn’t move. 

“Now.” 

Sean turned his face towards esteban, but he kept his eyes glaring at the floor. 

“What were you thinking?!” 

“I wasn’t!!” 

“Sean do you know what would happen to me if I lost you?! I would be completely heart broken!! You don’t seem to understand that as your father, I CAN'T lose you!!” 

Sean just glared harder at the floor. 

“And what if you got hurt up there?? You could have fallen or slipped!! Could have broken your neck!!”

“....” 

Esteban sighed.  
“What do you have to say for yourself?” 

Sean didn’t say anything…  
He just shook his skinny arm out of his dads grasp and continued to the kitchen. 

“Sean, talk to me.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” 

“We both know that’s a lie.” 

“Well then I don’t want to talk!” 

“You never want to talk to me anymore sean! Look, I know it's kind of a teenager thing to hate your parents and-“ 

Sean cut him off. 

“I don’t hate you!!” 

“Then why don’t you talk to me?! Why do you continue to disobey me?! Why did you run away?!” 

“I didn’t run away!! I was on the roof!!” 

“Why?!” 

“I needed a smoke!!” 

Esteban just groaned in frustration. 

Silence fell upon the room. 

Daniel was looking on from the living room, evil smile having dropped the moment his dad yelled at him, realizing that this wasn’t an argument that was funny anymore…  
He took this silence as an opportunity to sneak off to the back yard and get out of the way. Instead, he was gonna go play in the snow. 

Neither Esteban or Sean noticed. 

…

“Sean ...Please…” His father begged. 

Sean just sighed… 

That’s when esteban saw the bags under Sean’s eyes.  
He looked exhausted, he looked miserable, he looked horrible to sum it up simply. 

Esteban just sighed in response.  
He came closer, and cupped his eldest sons cheek sweetly. 

“I’m just worried...and you scared me...Please don’t run away from me like this again…” 

Sean said nothing…  
He simply gave a small nod. 

“....you’re not in trouble...but I want to know if you have any more cigarettes on you…” 

Sean said nothing, but handed over a half used pack of cigarettes to his father from his own back pocket. 

Esteban took them from him and threw them in the trash. 

“You need to quit it. I refuse to let you continue this bad habit.” 

Sean simply nodded. 

“....do you understand?” 

…

“I understand…” 

“Thank you…  
Now why don’t you go lay down on my bed...I'll start breakfast for you and your brother…  
Clair and Stephen went out to church and they should be back by 2.  
Clair told us to help ourselves to whatever is in the fridge…  
Try and get a little rest...something tell me you didn’t get much sleep last night, and you need to catch up…” 

Sean hesitated at the thought of falling back to sleep, but in the end he nodded, and moved past his dad to go lay down on the air mattress. 

Before starting breakfast, esteban looked out the glass slider into the backyard to see his youngest blissfully trying to make a snowman. 

He let him play. 

He started breakfast. 

Sean fell asleep on the air mattress while watching tv as Esteban cooked…

What a way to start a morning...

After a nap that lasted till Clair and Stephen got home, Sean was feeling slightly better, but not by much.  
He had a dreamless sleep, which was good, but the night previous still had him shaken up. 

The rest of the day he was quite quiet. He responded mostly in one word responses. When people asked what was wrong, he simply responded that he was just tired. 

The day was mostly uneventful.  
Sean felt like he had nothing to talk about with his grandparents, and he was still kind of avoiding his father.  
It was a day full of just laying around. 

It was at dinner that things began to kick up…

“So… Daniel, how was your day?” Clair inquired over thief quiet dinner table. 

“It was awesome!!” Daniel exclaimed.

“Oh yeah?? What did you do today??” 

“I met the neighbors!!” 

That kind of caught Sean’s attention. 

“I met this kid named Chris, and his dad Charles! They were super nice!! Chris saw me this morning making a snowman, and when I saw him I told him he could come help, but he said his dad wouldn’t want him too...but then we started talking! I hopped the fence and we went up to his tree house!! He showed me his snowmen and his toys, and we played all day!! It was so awesome!! He’s just like my best friend Noah from Seattle, but like ...better!! Don’t tell Noah I said that though....  
Chris loves power bear and comic books like hotdog man!! Oh! Oh! And Chris wears this really awesome cape! He has an alter ego called captain spirit, and I’m his partner super wolf!!” Daniel laughed. He seemed like he just wanted to keep talking and talking about this kid till his lungs popped.

This kind of made Sean angrier with his father.  
So it's fine when Daniel just runs off to a strangers house over the fence to go play with a strange kid in a cape, but if he hops up on the roof for a while its a huge problem.

“Sounds like you have a crush on the kid or something” Sean mumbled sarcastically. 

Clair noticeably looked kind of upset. 

“Why would you say that sean, that’s so rude…” 

Sean looked up at her from his plate in confusion. 

“What do you mean…?” 

“To imply your brother be a dirty homosexual is quite disrespectful and rude…!” 

“....Dirty homosexual??” Sean asked, offended and confused. He knew Clair was old and old fashioned, but he still hadn’t expected something like that to come from her. 

Esteban intervened before things could continue.  
During the time he had been with Karen, Esteban knew just how intolerant the Reynolds could be…  
He still remembers the time he came over to her house for the first time and Clair made it very clear she thought esteban was a very kind man, but still she did not approve of their relationship just because Esteban was Mexican. 

Esteban blames it on the age, which is fair. A different world, a different time, they just still haven’t caught up with the newer more accepting world. 

“Oh! You know what? I just remembered something! Daniel had told me that Charles and Chris were going to be going to the Christmas market tomorrow and they invited Daniel to come along!” 

Daniel shone brightly with excitement. 

“Yeah!! They are gonna go get a christmas tree!” 

“I was thinking,” esteban started “that they could go, and I could give money to Daniel and Sean to go get a tree for here too while they are there.” 

“Whoa whoa, what do you mean ‘and sean’” Sean retaliated. 

“Well ...I mean… It would be good for you to get out of the house, and I trust you more with the money I’m going to give you than Daniel.” 

Daniel pouted.  
“Hey! I can be responsible with money!!” 

“Just give the cash to Charles, I don’t want to go…!” Sean spat back. 

“You could go out and get presents and help pick out the perfect tree for the house!” 

Sean frowned. By how his father spoke he knew there was no getting out of this. 

“I don’t want Sean to go either!” Daniel reminded. 

“For once we can agree on SOMETHING. Why do I have to go?” 

“Sean, You’re going.” Esteban said firmly. He knew the atmosphere of the house was damaging for his eldest, and figured the boy could use a big of fresh air and time away from this place. It also wouldn’t kill him to spend some quality time with his little brother. And with both sons gone, he had time to go out and shop for presents, and wrap them as well.

With that sean stood up from the table and went upstairs to the guest bedroom with a grone of frustration. 

Esteban sighed at this and just continued with dinner as usual. 

“....can you pass the mashed potatoes please?” 

Clair nodded and handed them over from across the table.


	4. The Market

“Hey Lyla...You up?” 

“Barely…  
What’s up?? It’s like 3 in the morning…” 

“I-....I have a problem…” 

“...what kind of problem??” 

“....can you call??” 

“Let me go make a cup of coffee and grab my headphones.   
Are you safe?? What kind of ‘problem’ are we having here??” 

“....I’m just going through a lot right now...and I’m questioning a lot of stuff...and I’m...I’m getting really confused…” 

Sean soon found his phone ringing in his hand.   
He pressed the green button to pick up and held the phone to his ear. 

“Alright…” Lyla yawned “Talk to me, tell me what's goin on…”

“....ok...so...It started yesterday morning...when my dad made me go with Daniel to go get a Christmas tree at this place called The Christmas Market.” 

Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2Lis2

Sean woke up to the present sensation of his brother punching him in the ribs. 

“Ow!! Daniel!! What the fuck?!” 

“Get up!! It’s almost time to go!!” 

“You couldn’t wake me up ANY other way??” 

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past hour!!” 

Sean rolled his eyes and sat up. 

Last night had been another restless one...but eventually Sean was able to force himself to stay down in bed, and let his eyes fall shut. He had nightmares, yes, but due to his exhaustion Sean’s body refused to let him wake up...so most of the night he spent rolling and tossing and turning, only to be woken up so kindly by his younger brothers tiny fist to the side of his abdomen. 

Sean looked over his brother as he began to wake up more. 

Daniel had what looked like dark blue marker all over his face and hands…

Sean decided not to ask, even as he brother gave him intriguing eyes that taunted him to question.

Sean stood up and started getting dressed. 

“What time is it??” 

“8:30.”

Sean slipped on jeans over his boxers that he had slept in.

“How long have you been up?” 

“7…” 

Sean switched his nightshirt for a clean one, and through on his socks, and a good pair of boots.

The room fell quiet as Sean stood up, now fully dressed.

Sean looked over Daniel.   
He sighed. 

“Alright, I’ll ask,” he gestured to Daniels face and hands “what's with the make up??” 

His little brother instantly perked up with excitement.

“It’s war paint!! I’m Super Wolf!!”   
Daniel stood with his fists on his hips, standing in a very heroic pose.   
“I have the power to move things with my mind and Captain Spirit is my sidekick!!” 

Daniel was gonna continue, but he was cut off the sound of the door squeezing open, and another small boy’s voice calling out. 

“Hey! I’m not your sidekick!!” 

Daniel looked over at the golden haired boy with light blue marker on his face in the shape of a mask, red cape flowing behind him, who stood in the doorway. 

Daniel scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. 

“H-he’s right...sorry…” 

Sean assumed this was the infamous Chris.   
Chris came into the room and put an arm around Daniel.   
“I’m not your sidekick, We’re a team!!” He joyfully called out.   
Daniel moved an arm back around Chris.   
“Right!!” He smiled at him.

Sean couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

At least someone was having fun around here. 

“I take it you’re Chris?” 

Chris shook his head and corrected him.   
“I’m Captain Spirit!!” 

Sean laughed a little again and held out a hand to Chris, he played along. 

“Nice to meet you, Captain Spirit.”   
They shook hands. 

Daniel smiled as he watched their interaction. He truly was happy that Chris already got along with Sean…  
Not that it mattered or whatever...He doesn’t NEED his big brothers approval ...but it would still be nice to have. 

Sean pulled his hand back and took a deep breath. 

“Alright...I know you didn’t wake me up for nothing...lets-....” his voice trailed off as he sighed, trying to continue the sentence with as much ‘excitement’ he could muster “get going to the Christmas Mart…” 

Chris and Daniel cheered and ran out of the room. 

Sean knew he didn't have much time to get his shit together, so he grabbed a pen, his journal, and his phone, and threw on his neon orange jacket.

He knew Daniel was getting impatient and was itching to get out of this place to go play with his new found friend.   
He knew this was the work of his dad.   
If Esteban hadn’t sent Daniel up here, Chris following in suit, they surely would be gone already...but their father was standing tall on this. 

Moving out of the room, past Stephens trains, and down the stairs, he found Daniel, Chris, and Esteban standing in front of the door. 

“Good morning, son” Esteban smiled at his eldest.   
Sean didn't smile back, or even respond.  
Maybe Esteban could forgive and forget yesterday morning's yelling fit, but as we all know, Sean isn’t a very forgiving type. 

Esteban reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.   
“Charles is out in his truck, getting it all warmed up and stuff.”   
He handed two-hundred dollars to his eldest son.   
“I expect change back.” 

“Alright alright alright,” Daniel called out the moment Sean snatched the cash from his father “lets go already!!”   
The youngest was dying to get out of there, pulling his oldest brothers sleeve out the door. 

Intentionally sean followed...but dragged behind to slow down both boys, frustrating Daniel more than he ever thought possible. 

Esteban laughed a little as he had caught on before Daniel did.   
“Both of you be safe, ok??” 

Sean mumbled a response of “yeah, alright” as they walked off slowly, Daniel groaning with the struggle as he pulled his brothers sleeve to go out the door. 

“Be good for Charles, stay out of trouble, and be home at a reasonable time! Make sure to text if you're gonna be late coming home!” Esteban said as his sons went to leave with the neighbors...but before Sean could fully get out the door, Esteban grabbed Sean’s other arm.   
Daniel glared at their father as he was now holding them just as much as his slow brother!!   
Sean looked at his dad just the same. 

“...I love you boys…” Esteban said with a small fatherly smile. 

Seans angry expression drooped and he looked down at the hand on his arm with a sigh. 

“...we-...we love you too dad.” Sean reluctantly admitted. 

Esteban smiled and pulled both boys into a hug. 

“Yeah yeah yeah we all love each other, now lets goooooo!!” Daniel whined as he wiggled from his father's hug and tried to pull sean again to fallow.   
Both laughed and Esteban let them go. 

Next thing sean knew, he was in an old beat up truck, listening to some slow country song, next to the father of Daniel's new friend, on their way to the market. 

The market was quiet, lazy, slow, relaxed…  
Christmas songs buzzed in the background of vendors stands, selling various items of Holliday crap, to the small bundle of people there today.  
The smell of evergreen trees was pungent, and almost assaulting to the senses...but it was still a lovely comforting smell.   
They had big trees, small trees, skinny, fat. Crooked trees, straight trees and all that.   
Daniel and ‘Captain Spirit’ were infatuated by the options of trees around them. 

While they played together amongst the trees, Sean wandered off. 

He knew whatever trees they picked would be fine. They didn’t need his help. 

Sean wondered his way over to the vendors. 

One stand had a donation box for children that could not afford many gifts. The stand next to it was selling Holiday Wreaths. The last two stands sold wood carvings, little snowmen statues, and little polar bears. They also had a big vat of warm apple cider and free cookies. 

Sean slowly made his way around the vendors, taking his time to see what each vendor had, and once he noticed most of this stuff was kind of just...crap...decided he wanted to make his way to the picnic table in the center of the little shopping area they had going on over here. 

But as sean turned around to walk away, he noticed something he hadn’t before…

Off to the side, hidden away in the corner, there sat a man on an old wood stump.   
He held a cigarette in one hand, and kept the other one in his pocket. He looked cold, he was wearing only one layer and it was only like 10 degrees out.   
Next to him was a big cardboard box, being protected by a grey, flat faced, pit bull.   
Leaning against his foot there was a cardboard sign that read “Pups 4 Sale” in messy handwriting. 

His dreadlocks framed his face, a few falling in front, as he smoked his cigarette. 

…

Sean took a chance.   
He wondered over. 

When he got close enough the man noticed him and dropped his cigarette on the ground, putting it out with his boot. He turned his head and smiled at Sean, showing off a missing tooth, and face tattoos under his left eye, and a stripe along his chin. 

He had gauges in his ears. His jeans were all torn up, patched up with spare cloth. 

“Well, hello there pup~” His hint of a twangy accent in his voice was not what sean expected from a man who looked kind of intimidating. 

“H-hi…” Sean said, kind of shyly. He didn't know why but the man in front of him made him a little nervous, even though he seemed kind enough, and his smile looked genuine. 

“Interested in buyin a pup?” He inquired. “Nothin sweeter than a dog for christmas~” he laughed a little. 

“I’m just looking…” Sean told him, to which he then peaked into the box to find cute little baby puppies, playing around in their box. They were being kept warm by the big coat that lined the bottom of the box. Guess that explains they coldness of the man in front of him. 

“That’s alright...Just let me know if any of them catch your eye. They’re little mutts. Pitbull-beagle mix. 10$ for one, 15$ for two….  
I’m tryin to keep them in two’s if possible so I’m not splitting up the pack TOO much.” The man drawled. Sean nodded. 

They were possibly some of the cutest little babies he’s ever seen, and he couldn’t help but smile as they played and rolled and tumbled around. 

“...is this her litter?” Sean asked, pointing to the Pitbull curled up next to the box. 

“Yup, my old lady got it on with a beagle...I would keep the pups, but I move around a lot...It’s hard to travel with one dog the way I do it, but trying to do it with 8 more? Oof….thanks but no thanks.” 

“You’re not from around here then?” 

The man laughed “oh heeeeell no, do I LOOK like I’m from around here?” He laughed again at the idea.   
“You know, you look pretty out of place too...You from around here?” 

“N-no ...Seattle…” 

“Ah~ Suburban boy~ I know someone who’d really like to meet you.   
What’re you doin around these parts then?” 

“My dad, brother and me are visiting our grandparents…” 

“Got to love the grandparents~” a new twangy voice chimed in. 

Both boys looked over to see a purple dread-headed girl, carrying an old worn guitar. 

“Ah! Speak of the devil and she shall appear~ I was just talkin about you.” The man told her. 

“I’m sure you were. What did I say about keepin my name out of your mouth??” She sassed. 

“Yeah yeah, oh don’t be like that, it was all good stuff.” He said with a small laugh. 

“Good…   
Did you sell any dogs yet??” 

“Nah...what about you? Any one throw some cash your way?” 

The woman nodded and pulled from her coat pocket a red plastic plate that had been folded like a taco to hold all the money she had in it.   
She showed it to the man.   
There was nothing but about 10 ones and a few quarters. 

“Damn!” The man sounded legitimately impressed. “That’s so much more than last time!!” 

The woman smiled and showed off a deep tooth gap to the man. “I know! think people are starting to get into my sound~” she boasted. 

“How did you pull it off?” He laughed “you beg or somethin?” 

The woman put the money back in her pocket and nudged him with a laugh.   
“Oh shut it, I did not. Unlike you, I’m just a true charmer!” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

“Wanna tell me what’s so charming about you? I’m pretty sure I just saw that rats nest on the top of your head twitch.” 

“Comin from the boy who smells like old, wet dog.” 

“Hey! Don’t you insult Dog like that! She smells much better than me!” 

“Exactly, you’re the nasty one.” 

They both laughed. 

That’s when Sean got a little burst of confidence and spoke out.   
“Hey, I wouldn’t get too close to her, you can never be to safe.” 

The woman gasped dramatically.   
“Look at you two, the boys gangin up on a poor homeless queen! How could you?” She dramatically and jokingly stated. 

“Sorry Cass, I forgot suburban boys are YOU’RE thing.” The man chimed in now.

“Oh yeah? Wanna talk about your score board, hot shot?~” 

Finn gave her a wink, clicking his teeth with it.

All three of them laughed. 

The man nudged sean in his side. “Look at you gettin in on the jokes~ What’s your name, pup?” 

“My name’s sean….” 

“Sean...I like that” the woman said with a sweet smile. 

“Well, this is Cassidy, and my name’s Finn” Finn said and held out a hand for sean to shake.   
Sean took his hand and shook it. 

Finn looked to Cassidy. “See! He knows I’m clean!” 

“Oh don’t even,” Cass sassed “You smell, and you like it.” 

“Damn right I do!” Finn laughed. 

Sean laughed a little too before talking.   
“So….You guys like...friends or-?” 

“Yeah, me and him are buds.” Cassidy smiled. 

“Do you travel with Finn?” Sean questioned. 

“Oh yeah, We have a little group we travel in. It’s me, Cassidy, and three other pals of ours.” Finn responded.   
“We get around by ridin the trains~” Cassidy told.   
“But for now we are stayin in this little town, lookin for work to keep goin, and to try and get rid of these pups we cant take care of.” Finn finished. 

“So, How long are you guys gonna be around?” 

“Well, we are gonna stay till we can get some cash, and get all the pups adopted, and then we are gonna go down to California.” Cassidy says “in the spring we have a job waiting for us down there.” 

“Oh cool!!” 

“Yeah it's pretty sweet. We work on a farm.” Finn laughed with a little smile. 

Sean really liked talking with Cassidy and Finn. They radiated chill vibes, and that's something Sean could use right about now.   
With how stressed out he’s been? Kind people with calm vibes and cute puppies? Sign him up. 

As their conversation began to wrap up, its as if on cue, Daniel appeared. 

“Hey sean- woah…” Daniel eyed Cassidy “I like your hair! Is it a wig??” 

Cassidy laughed a little “what do you think?” 

“...I-...I’m not sure but- whoa!! Puppies!!” Daniel exclaimed and ran over to the box of puppies. 

Sean pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. They really need to get that kid checked out for A.D.H.D. 

Finn laughed and patted Daniel on the back.   
“Ten for one, fifteen for two.” He let Daniel play with all the dogs in the box with joy.   
Looking back at Sean he pointed to Daniel.   
“Is he your brother or somethin?” 

Sean didn't want to admit it...but he did.  
“yeah...He’s mine…” 

Finn smiled “you guys look alike...its cute.” 

The way Finn called him cute made his face heat up a little. He shoved his hands in his pocket and fiddled with the pen in his jacket. 

Daniel suddenly gasped.   
“Oh my god ...Sean! Look at this!! She is SO cute!! Look!!”   
Daniel held up a little puppy who was mostly white, with brown speckled all over his body, and a brown pattern on her face. 

“Daniel, put it do-“ 

“Daniel where did you- WHOA!! Puppies!!” Chris ran over with excitement.

Cassidy looked over both little boys coddling the little puppies.   
“What’s up with the paint, kids?” 

While he continued to cuddle the little puppy that he refused to put back in the box, daniel responded. 

“We are on a super special super secret mission!” 

“Yeah…? Should you really be stopping to play with dogs if it's that important?” 

Chris and Daniel looked at each other. 

“....I think it can wait.” Chris said quietly.   
“Definitely, definitely!” Daniel said, very pleased with that responce as he continued to play with the little pup in his arms. 

“I’m gonna call this one mushroom and she-“ 

Sean intervened. “Whoa whoa whoa ...Daniel, you can't name her…” 

“Why?” Daniel scowled at his older brother.

“Because we aren’t buying a dog…”

“Why not?!” Daniel said, hugging the dog closer to his chest. 

“Because! We can't! Now put it down! You know how dad would react if we brought home some dog from the market when we were supposed to get a tree??” 

“We have enough money for both!!” 

“Daniel-“

“Why do you always ruin things like this for me?!” 

Sean pinched the bridge of his nose again in annoyance. He knew this was gonna be a big shit fit if he didnt let Daniel have to dog. 

“Hey, you know what?” Finn's voice calmly cut though the tension. “How about this...You give me Mushroom, and I'll keep her safe and warm and won't let anyone adopt her, till you find out if your dad will let you have her. I’ll keep her on hold just for you. Alright?” 

Daniel didn't know how to react. 

“......you promise?” 

Finn held up a fingerless-gloved hand, and stuck out his pinkie. 

“Pinkie promise.”

Daniel pouted but reluctantly put the dog down back down into the box.   
He locked his finger with Finn’s. 

“And I NEVER break a pinkie promise. So I promise she will be all yours if your dad gives it up, alright?” 

Daniel nodded.   
Finn smiled at him.   
“Cheer up little wolf! It’s gonna be alright.” 

Sean was impressed...He totally just defused that active bomb….  
That sure as hell wouldn’t have worked if Sean had told him that.   
It must have been something about that calm...soothing...twangy tone he wore with each sentence. 

Daniel gave a small smile. 

“Alright alright! That’s what I like to see! Now why don’t you go run off and complete that super secret mission you mentioned.” 

Chris grabbed Daniels hand sweetly and pulled him along. 

Daniel smiled wider at his hand in Chris’s as he ran along after him with a laugh. 

Finn saw Seans impressed expression, and gave him a sweet wink.   
Sean instantly looked at the ground as his face heated up worse.   
“You’re welcome sweetie~” He laughed. 

“Th-thank you…” 

“Uh oh”   
Both boys turned to see what cassidy was ‘uh oh’ing at. 

A mean old looking vendor stomped over. 

Great. They had just defused one bomb, now here comes the next one.

“Hey, you two need to move along, you're disturbing the customers, and we have a STRICT law that says your dog needs to be on a leash.”

Finn looked at him like the dude was crazy. 

“She ain’t hurtin nobody! Look at that sweet face! She’s just here to say bye to her little pups…” Finn said. 

The man just glared at him. 

“You need to get out of here before I call the cops on you hooligans” 

Finn rolled his eyes.   
“Yeah, alright. Just for the record, I know if my dog wasn’t a pit bull? You would have no problem with her.” 

“Yeah, you're right, I wouldn’t, because other dogs aren’t dangerous little beast monsters like your dog!”

“Someone needs to get laid.” Cassidy popped in with a glare, not pleased with how he was talking about Finn’s dog.

“He’s probably out’a pills.” Finn responded. 

“Ok, That’s it, I’m calling the cops.” 

Cassidy gasped dramatically and clung to Finn's arm. 

“Oh no Finn! He’s gonna call the police on us! What are we gonna do??” Sarcasm dripped through her words as she showed, she was unafraid of that threat. 

Finn just laughed and picked up his box of dogs.   
“Alright alright, we’re going.  
This dump sucks anyway. You guys don’t even got a Santa.” 

Finn stood and started towards the fence, The mama dog trailing behind with the two rugged young adults. 

Cassidy shot the older man a middle finger as they walked off.   
He glared and huffed, stomping off back to his tent. 

Sean was kind of sad to see them go.   
Of course just when he finds a bit of solace in some people close to his age, who were super cool, they had to go…

But- that's when he saw that Finn had left behind his phone on the wooden stump he had been sitting on. 

Quickly Sean sprung to action, grabbing the phone and running off after the two that had just left. 

“Hey!” Sean called out.   
“Finn! You left your phone!!” 

Finn turned around, stopping when he saw who it was coming over. 

“Well hello again pup! Look who’s the life saver of the day!!” He laughed.   
He handed the box of dogs to Cassidy while he grabbed the phone from Sean.   
“Thanks...that was super cool of you to get this back to me.” Finn said with a smile. 

Sean had just got his face to cool down but it was something about that smile that just made his cheeks warm up with a deep blush. 

Their fingers brushed as Finn took the phone from him. 

He put his phone in his back pocket. 

“Hey...You got a phone of your own?” Finn questioned. 

“...Y-Yeah...why?” 

“Give it to me. I wanna put my number in there.” 

“Alright!” Sean said a little to quickly and a little too excitedly. 

Sean opened his phone and handed it over. Finn typed in his name and number into the contact and handed it back over. 

“You seem like a pretty cool dude…  
Keep in touch…  
I think I’d like to see a bit more of you some time, darlin’~” Finn winked at him and Sean could feel his face flushing even darker red. 

“Actually! That reminds me!   
Me and my friends are having a little party tonight...nothing big, just something chill to celebrate finding a new hideout for the winter…  
Maybe I could come scoop you and you could come Chill…  
We’re gonna crack open a few beers, smoke some weed, and vibe to music~   
If you're down? shoot me a text. If not…? shoot me a text anyway...I’ve got a good feelin about you, Sweetie~” Finn winked at him again, handing back over Sean’s phone to him. 

Sean couldn’t find the words, so he just nodded. 

Finn smiled and went off back to cassidy, taking the dogs off her hands. 

Sean just stood there, and watched as the two wandered away back down the road. 

...He was DEFINITELY going to that party.


	5. Any time

“Wait, so did you or did you not end up going to the party??” 

“I haven’t gotten to that part yet Lyla…” 

“You were getting side tracked again...” 

“Oh….Shit, was I? God I’m just rambling at this point, aren’t I?”

Lyla laughed  
“Yeah, Just a little…” 

“Do you want me to go? You don’t have to stay on the phone with me if I’m getting-“

“Don’t you dare say the word ‘annoying.’”

“...”

“...You say that every time…”

“I do?” 

“Yeah! Dude, how many nights have me and you stayed up like this, smokin and talkin things through?” 

“....More times than I would probably like to admit…”

“Exactly...And how many times have you been a burden to me every time you needed someone to talk too?”

“...” 

“Never.  
The answer is never.  
Don’t you dare think of yourself as anything but amazing Sean Diaz…  
To much shit in life has been getting you down lately, and the last thing you need is to be another weight, dragging yourself down…”

Sean sighed. 

“Ok…”

“Speaking of...Have you been taking care of yourself down in Beaver Creek? Sometimes when you get into funks like this you don’t tend to take great care of yourself…  
When is the last time you got a good night's sleep??” 

“...now you’re the one getting off track…” 

Lyla simply laughed again. 

“Fine, fine...I’m only stopping because it’s too early to be Mama Lyla…  
Let’s get back to the story…  
So you had just gotten your first crush on a boy-“ 

“What?! No!! What are you talking about?!” 

“I’m talking about that Finn dude!” 

“I do NOT have a crush on him!”

“Yeah, and that's why I just had to cut you off on your 20 minute rambling essay on why those three little triangles under his left eye, and the way his smile lines make them crinkle up a little when he laughs makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” 

“I did NOT say that!” 

“Yet you do not deny the last 20 minutes have been all about how cute you find him.” 

“You, miss, are twisting my words!” 

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever, you ‘don’t’ have a crush on this guy-“

“I don't!” 

“I just said you didn't.” 

“Good because I don’t…” 

“...But if you did, I hope you know I would be very supportive-“ 

“Lyla-“

“And I would let you know it's one hundred and ten percent ok for you to be attracted to men-“

“Lyla-“ 

“And I would remind you that I will love you no matter-“

“Lyla! I’m not gay!!” 

“I never said you were!!” 

“Than what are you implying?!” 

“I don't know…!! Why are you getting all defensive??” 

“I just-....  
It’s to much for tonight!!  
Please…!!  
I’m already confused about this already and I just-...! There are so many labels-...and-....and—  
...Please...It’s way too much…  
Shut off Mama Lyla mode…”

Lyla took a deep breath. 

“...Ok...I’m sorry...I’ll stop….”

“Thank you….” 

“...”

“...”

“...so ...what happened next? Were you were on your way to that party…?” 

“I-....First I had to go home….” 

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Once the trees were picked out, wrapped up, paid for and tossed in the back of Charles truck, Sean, Daniel, Chris, and of course Charles got into the car and began driving away. 

Head leaning against the glass of the passenger door, Sean began to drift away on his own thoughts, watching the little shops swish away as Charles drove.  
The giggling and muffled talk of childish splendor coming from the back of the truck was peaceful to listen too…

It was at they began getting closer to the street the Reynolds and Eriksens house resided on, Sean began to doze off.  
That’s when Charles voice cut through Sean’s dreamy state of thought, not wanting him to fall asleep in his car. 

“...soooo…” Charles began, not sure what to talk about. The first thing he thought of was what most teenage boys like to talk about; pretty girls.  
“...Who was that cutie from the market you were talkin too.” He chuckled. 

Sean's face flushed.  
He sat up a little straighter, not fully realizing what Charles had been asking.

Sean stumbled over his words as he tried to respond. 

“I- uh-...I didn’t- me and him aren’t- I don't even know him! And- and I don't think he sw- and I mean, I don't even swing like that! And-“ 

“Sean-...I-....I was talking about the purple haired girl ...with the guitar…” 

Oh…  
That’s right…  
Cassidy...  
Shit...

The car became awkward and quiet. 

“....can we maybe not bring this up to my dad if he asks about the market…?” 

“...Y-yeah...that's fine but-...I mean-...are you-?” 

The car came to a slow in the driveway of the Eriksen’s home, and before Charles could even get the sentence out, Sean already had unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out of the car. 

He ran to the back of the truck and yelled.  
“Daniel! Help me get the tree to Clair and Stephens house!!” 

Daniel began to whine. “But Seeeeean! I thought we were gonna stay over and keep hanging out and then go home for dinner! I wanna stay and keep playing with Chris!!” 

Sean pulled down the back of the truck bed, and grabbed the trunk of the tree Daniel had picked out for Clair and Stephens house.  
He pulled it down. 

Before they could argue, Charles found his way back around, softly apologizing to sean.  
“Sean, look, I’m very sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable-“

Sean found the tree in fact was pretty light. Light enough that Sean COULD carry it on his own, even if it would be a little uncomfortable to do. 

“It’s really none of my business what you do, I just- I don’t mean to be offensive, I really wasn’t trying to be, I-“ 

“It’s fine, I don't want- you didn't- just- bye.” Sean said quickly as he carried the tree off on his own, struggling a bit. This was far less uncomfortable for Sean then to have another moment talking about his mistaken words.

Charles sighed and ran his own fingers through his hair. Why does he continue to fuck up over and over agin with the people in his life? Honestly he still didn't fully understand what he did or said to frighten Sean off like that, he didn’t think just asking him if he wasn’t straight was offensive like that...but he prayed to god this wouldn’t affect Daniels ability to come over and play. He would hate himself worse than he already does if messing up with sean meant Chris lost what was seeming to become a new best friend. 

Sean entered the house, tree in arms, leaving Daniel behind.  
Charles just assumed that Daniel could stay until someone called for him to come home…  
How long Daniel would be able to stay? A bit of a mystery, but Charles was not gonna miss his opportunity to keep Daniel with Chris.  
He hasn’t seen Chris smile this much since before his mom died…  
Charles flooded with anxiety as he worried he may have ruined this for his son…

Little did Charles know, Sean had no intention of telling anyone of their conversation, or any intent of splitting Daniel and Chris apart. 

After having leaned the tree up against the wall beside the door, Sean kicked off his shoes and ran up to his room as fast as possible, completely ignoring his grandparents and father calling to him. His mind was rushing, he had no time to talk to them, he needed to be alone right now to collect himself, feeling as if he was falling apart over this tiny little thing.

Why did he say that?! Why did he assume it was Finn Charles was talking about rather then Cassidy?! What is WRONG with him?! Why is his mind so stuck on this stupid boy from the market?!  
…  
Why did he run away from Charles instead of just calmly letting him know he had slipped up his words? Why didn't he just calm down? Why did he get all snappy? Why did he feel so embarrassed? Why has his heart been racing since even before they all had gotten into the car…!? 

Once up in the guest room he slammed the door behind him, flung himself onto the bed, and shoved his face in a pillow, letting himself just scream. Everything was going so fast, happening so quickly. One minute everything was fine, and the next thing he knew, Sean was having a little bit of a freak out in his room. 

That just seems to be the pacing of his life lately...it's fine, until it’s not. 

He just muffled himself back into the pillow, and just let himself scream and scream and scream.

…

Why does his head hurt so bad…? 

That’s when Sean found his excuse...

Maybe-...maybe that was it…  
The jitteriness, the aggravation, the obsessive thoughts, the physical restlessness...  
Yeah…  
Sean hasn’t had a cigarette in almost over a day and a half…  
This was all just a product of withdrawal!  
That was it…

He already had convinced himself through racing thoughts.

Sean stood up from the bed, and propped open the window. Under the window sat his backpack.  
He sat on the edge of the bed, leg jiggling, as he began to dig through his bag. 

…  
Oh  
…  
That’s right…  
Dad threw them out…  
Fuck…

He shut the window.

Sean sighed.  
He sat with his back to the wall, knees to his chest, pillow laying on his knees, arms tightly wrapped around the pillow, face buried into said pillow. He went back to screaming in his pillow till he couldn’t find it in himself to continue. 

Why does he feel so cold…?

Once the screaming died down, and did not boot back up again, Sean heard his father knock on the door softly.  
Sean sighed into the pillow.  
His dad let himself in. 

“Hijo? You alright…?” 

Sean didn't move his face from the pillow.  
“.....I don’t know…” Sean spoke honestly. 

Esteban gently shut the door behind him. He came and sat next to his eldest on the bed. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”  
Esteban already knew the answer. 

“....not really…” 

“....Sean-...Please talk to me...Nothing good comes from bottling things up and keeping to yourself….  
What’s wrong?” 

“...”

“....did something happen at the market…? Is it Daniel?” 

Sean let out a heavy sigh.  
“....no ... it's not daniel…” 

“Did-....Charles or Chris do something…?” 

“No…” 

“Did I do something…?” 

“No…” 

The room grew quiet.  
Esteban sighed. 

“Hijo...How can I help?” 

“....I don't know…” sean mumbled. He really didn’t.  
“I-...I’m just feeling very overwhelmed ...and I want to go home…I want to go lay in MY bed, in MY room, and get away from this stupid house...” 

Esteban placed a comforting hand on Sean's back and rubbed comforting circles. 

“....I know its hard for you to be back in this house, Sean...It’s hard for me too…” 

Sean peaked out from the pillow. 

“....Yeah…?” 

“Yeah…  
You don’t think it's hard for me to be here too? Back with Clair and Stephen? Every corner of this house reminding me of your mother-“

“Don’t call her that.” 

“What…?”

“She is NOT my mother. She gave up that title when she ditched me…  
When she ditched you…  
When she ditched Daniel…”

Esteban let out another heavy breath. 

“Sean…  
Look-...this-...this trip isn’t about your-....Karen…  
It isn’t about Karen.  
This is about reconnecting with your grandparents…”

“I know…” 

“And...they have been very nice to us, since we arrived...they really want to be good to you Sean ...They are even more worried than I am…” 

“They are?” Sean questioned, moving his head full from the pillow. 

“They are…! Despite what you might be feeling, you are just as important to them, and hold just as much space in their hearts, as Danie does. I know it might be hard to see that with how much they are spoiling him…” 

Esteban had picked up on that already? Guess sean realized he hadn’t been hiding his insecurity very well…

“....I know it's hard right now...but we have only been here 3 days…! We are planning to stay another 11 days!” 

Sean cringed at the idea of how much longer he was gonna be here.

“I think there is still a lot of warming up to do around here…  
But you should also give yourself that time…” Esteban stated. 

“What do you mean?” Sean questioned. 

“I feel like you’re keeping your guard so high up, and refusing to allow yourself to relax around these people, in this new place, because you’re expecting nothing but the worst. You aren’t letting yourself relax. You aren’t giving yourself the time to forgive and let go ...You continue to string yourself up so high and-....I don't know ...You just aren’t being yourself lately...and I’m almost positive it’s because you're ...well...kind of scared ...to be yourself and to be ok, in this house, with these people...and the stress you’re putting on yourself is driving you nuts…”

Sean sighed.  
Where had he heard this before? 

‘Open mind, man!’

“....yo-...you might be right…” Sean admitted. “I need to figure out how to relax...It is a vacation after all” Sean laughed a little. 

Esteban rubbed his back some more and laughed a bit with him, then it grew quiet again. 

Nothing but the sound of deep breaths, and dripping water from melting snow outside. 

Esteban looked out the window, finding his youngest son playing with the neighbors son outside, in the yard next door. 

Esteban spoke up again.

“I hope you know how proud I am of you…” 

Sean gave him a questioning look. 

“I know this hasn’t been easy….  
Things haven’t been easy for a while…  
Being a teenager is hard,and it sucks. Believe it or not, I was once your age too, feeling the same stuff you do now.” He laughed. Sean laughed a little with him. 

“I know things have been hard, and things suck...but...You’re doing so good...for yourself, for me, and for your brother.  
I don't tell you enough, that I’m proud of you.  
And what you’re feeling?  
Although I don’t really know what's going on in that wild mind of yours, I can tell you, these strong emotions and problems? They won't last forever.  
And things will get better, hijo.  
I promise.”

Sean smiled a little. 

Esteban pulled his eyes from the window and looked to his eldest. He smiled back.

“...Thanks dad…” 

“Any time, kid….  
Any time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter might seem a little shorter...I just really wanted to get something out, you know?
> 
> Also I just wanted to say 2 things
> 
> One, I just wanted to tell you all that comments are VERY appreciated. Reading the comments you guys right are always my favorite part of posting and it makes me so happy to see them. I read all of them and respond to all of them lol :)
> 
> And Two, If you guys like this work, I plan on doing some one offs in between all these chapters, so then I wont burn myself out and I can get some variety in there in between this story.  
> Fallow me if you guys would be into that!!  
> I also have a tumblr where I’m gonna be taking suggestions for fic’s and doing votes on which one-shots you guys would like to see most!  
> I’m ‘HorriblyObsessed-538’ on tumblr.  
> Check me out if you want :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> I try and get at least one chapter a day out, not including most weekends. When I don’t get a chapter out on this story a day, I probably will have posted a new one shot lol so keep your eyes peeled for my posts :)


	6. The motorcycle

“So ...after you and your dad talked, THAT'S when you went to the party??” 

“Hold your horses Lyla…! Damn” Sean laughed. 

“Well come on!” Lyla laughed with him. 

“Fine...to sum it up, the rest of the day I just tried to chill, I spent a little time with Clair and Stephen, and I tried to play it up a little at dinner that I was feeling better buuuuut, I was really tired.  
At like 8;30 I ‘went to bed’ early and then once up in my room I texted Finn.  
I gave him my address and he said he would be there in 5 to come grab me.” 

“Alright~ so you snuck out??” 

“Yeah…”

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Sean got the message when Finn said he was outside his house. He climbed out the window, and not so gracefully fell onto the ground from the window. He landed on his ass, and although it hurt like hell, if Finn really was there, he didn't show any pain, trying to play it off like he fell on purpose. 

Sneaking around to the front of the house, Sean was surprised by what he found. 

Finn was sitting on a motorcycle…!! On the side of the road in front of his grandparents house…!!

He sat with his feet on the ground, hands on his phone, texting. 

He didn't wear a helmet, and didn’t bring one for Sean either. 

Sean felt a shot of anxiety run through him, forgetting his pain from falling from the window.  
His dad was a motor head.  
LOVED working on cars. But he despised motorcycles.  
He called them “the gamble of death on wheels.” 

Back in his early 20’s Esteban had been in a VERY bad motorcycle crash. He was in the hospital for months and months. He had broken almost every bone in his body, while trying to seek the thrill of the impossible speed the bike he had actually built from scratch could bring. The doctors had informed him, had Esteban broken one more vertebrae in his back? He would have been paralyzed from the neck down for life. 

Sean can vividly remember his father's cautionary tales he told, showing off to his sons the scars that marked his body front he crash. Trying to permanently scare them off from wanting to give in to curiosity, and mess around with “The gamble of death on wheels.” 

...That only made Finn all the more tempting. 

If his son’s were interested in motor-mechanics, then they could find the joy in a good, old fashioned car. 

“No motorcycles.”  
He could so clearly hear his father's words in his head. 

When Finn had noticed Seans form in the dark, standing on the other end of the street, he waved sweetly to him. 

Sean had a choice to make. 

Go back inside and stay safe…? 

Or take a risk, and live a little.

What was wrong with him?! Sean knew this wasn’t himself and there should be no question what he should do!! Who even is this guys and where was he gonna take him?! He hadn’t even known this man for a full 24 hours, and yet...it just seemed to easy. 

...but his dad was right...he hasn’t been himself on this trip. 

It would just be so easy to hop on that motorcycle and run away from his troubles, even if just for the night... 

Maybe it was the idea it would make someone mad; the whole teen-angsty bullshit HAD been getting to him lately, and with bullshit, fallowed impulsiveness. Maybe it was the chill in the nights air that whispered to him; tempting him to come and play. Maybe it was the warm smile from across the street from the boy who radiated warmth. But he knew what he wanted. He made up his mind. He may not have known what it was, but he sure as hell knew something about this boy made him a little out of his mind... 

...What’s the worst that could happen?? 

Sean quickly snuck over to the boy on the motorcycle. 

“Holy shit…” Sean admired the bike Finn sat on. 

“You like?~” Finn questioned as he ran a hand across shiny metal. 

“Is this-...is this yours?” 

Finn simply laughed.  
“Oh hell no. Can’t afford a beauty like this baby.  
I uh-.... “borrowed” it...to come pick you up in style~” 

Sean wouldn’t realize till later, Finn was confessing to have stolen the bike. He was too mesmerized by the forbidden metal. 

“I-...uh-....I’ve never ridden one of these before…” Sean confessed, still looking over the cycle. 

Finn let out another little laugh.  
With an eyebrow raised and a teasing tone, Finn spoke. 

“Are you scared?~” 

“What?? No! No way…!” Sean denied, laughing a little nervously. 

“Then hop on sweetie!~ We don’t got time to waste! The party will start without us!~” Finn patted the back of the bike. 

Hesitantly, Sean found his way on the back of the cycle.  
Now what? This thing did not have seat belts he could find. 

“Hold on tight, sweetheart~” 

Hold onto what?

That’s when Finn patted his hips. Sean flushed a little and reached out to hold on.  
Finn laughed a little again, took both of Sean’s hands, pulled him closer and wrapped Sean’s arm tightly around his waist. 

“Keep your arms tight around me, alright?” 

Sean nodded, and Finn started up the bike again. 

Turning around, Finn began to drive away down the road.  
He was going slower down this winding sleepy road, but still, Sean began to squeeze Finn tighter than necessary out of fear, and a bit of panic.  
So much for relaxation. 

Once they hit the main road? That’s when things got intense.

There weren’t many people on the road, so it was just Finn and Sean.  
Finn took this as an opportunity to do what he loved most on quiet empty roads, and push the speed limit at least ten miles over. 

Wind whipped Sean’s hair around, and he began to squeeze Finn so tight, Finn’s bony body began to ache. But Finn didn't mind. He thought it was kind of cute, funny even.  
Sean buried his face in the back of Finns neck, too terrified by the bike and its rapidly increasing speed to dare look. He squeezed his eyes shut, but that only made him feel like he was going faster and faster.  
Every swerve and turn they made, made Sean’s heart skip a beat, jumping in his chest.  
Sean was flooded with so many emotions right now! 

The closeness of their bodies.  
The speed of this forbidden bike.  
The comforting smell of weed, mixed with cedar wood and the faint smell of cigarettes coming off the stranger he hugged tight. 

It was so much.  
A sensory overload but...in a good way…! 

Excitement, fear, adrenaline, and even a little horny if Sean is being honest with himself…

Sean felt like he couldn’t breath…! But...not in the way he usually felt his breath being taken away with an anxiety attack.  
This strange man who he hadn’t even known a full day had just sweaped him off his feet and whisked him away, and took his breath away with excitement. 

Finn laughed a little again. He yelled over the engine. 

“Open your eyes sweetie!! You ain’t got nothin to be scared of!!” 

Sean didn’t trust that for a second that he was safe and had nothing to fear...but he still found himself peeking out from the nape of Finn’s neck.  
He looked over the quickly changing landscape. He felt like someone had took the air out of his lungs. It was beautiful. It was scary. It was raw.  
His hands gripped tighter to Finn’s shirt. 

Sean didn’t expect it when he-...started laughing…?  
He began to laugh with joy and excitement, and made a howling noise of excitement and thrill. The same kind of noises one would make on a roller coaster.  
Finn laughed, and joined in with him. 

Peaking over Finn’s broad shoulder, away from the land passing them, he saw the speedometer. They were going 83 in a 65. That invoked a small squeak from Sean as he gripped Finn tighter. 

As they drove they soon found themself catching up to a thicker crowed of cars.  
Finn expertly maneuvered the bike, weaving through the cars with ease, speeding up even faster. Sean felt like he might throw up...and he couldn’t tell if it was from adrenaline, or from fear. 

Cars slammed the horn and Finn simply laughed a wicked laugh in responce as he sped away. 

Soon both men found themselves making a hard right...onto a train track. 

The change from smooth, finished road to bumpy train tracks, gravel crunching beneath the tires hit sean with another wave of fear. With every tiny jump the tires did along the croocked wood of the tracks made Sean’s heart and stomach do backflips. 

It was only when the bike had STOPED, did Sean feel himself finally be able to breath.  
With a skid, the bike came to a slow. They stopped on the side of the tracks. 

...Sean didnt even know what to do with himself!! He only just now remembered to breath.  
Finn got off the bike first.  
He let sean sit as he walked the motorcycle the rest of the way, giving sean a chance to let his mind catch up with his body. Finn remembers his first time on a cycle, especially one goin that fast...He knows its gonna take sean a minute or two. 

Seans head was spinning, he couldn’t find the words. 

Finn lead the bike off the tracks and off to the side. Soon the two came upon an old, rusted, out of commition old train box car. Within the car came warm flame. Finn put his motorcycle resting against the box. When sean didnt move, he picked him up and placed him on his feet. 

Sean came too just then.  
He spoke softly.  
“Th-thank you….!” 

Finn laughed. “Of course~ you alright?” 

Before sean could answer, they heard a voice from the box car. 

“Finn?? You home??” 

The voice was unfamiliar to Sean. 

“Yeah!! And I brought our guest of honor!!” Finn laughed. 

That’s when sean heard cassidy. “Hell yeah!! Get in here boys!!”  
Then came a quire of cheers.

Finn took Sean’s hand, and lead him away from the bike. Sean felt like his legs were jelly. 

When Finn brought him over to the red, rusty box car, Finn hopped up first, and helped sean up with him. 

Within the box car, they found a group of people. Two girls, two boys.  
There was a group of tents set up on different ends of the box car.  
One for each member of the group. In the middle of their tent ciurcle was an old metal barrel. In the barrel lay a roaring fire that kept the box car nice and warm and lit up for night. 

As Sean took in the sight before him, Finn began to introduce him to the group that sat around the fire. 

“Sean, you know me, and Cass, but this is the rest of our little group. The girl with the tattoos and the cheek piercings is Hanna,” 

Hanna gave a small wave. Her face was lacking in expression, she stayed quiet. She wore a pair of tan overalls, no shirt, no bra, front of the overalls unclipped and in front of her.  
This sight made Sean blush. This is the first time he’s ever seen a woman naked in real life…! He tried not to stare. 

Noticing his stare, Hanna rolled her eyes. 

“Take a picture boy, it will last longer.” She deadpanned. 

Sean felt himself heat up warmer. “I- I’m sorry I just-“ 

Finn cut between the twos conversation. 

“Come on Hanns, put on a shirt.” 

Looking over at sean he apologized. “Sorry about her. Hanna is a part time nudist. She ain’t got nothin to hide.” He laughed. Sean laughed a little too. 

As she went over to what was assumably her tent to get a shirt, she mumbled. “Not my fault all you over sexualize me. If a man can do it and be fine, why can’t I?!” 

Cassidy laughed and called to her. “Don’t worry Hanna, the world is sure to catch up with you soon enough.” 

Finn laughed at cassidy’s comment before continuing what he was doing, as Sean began to grasp the fact just now that he was very far from home, surrounded by a bunch of odd strangers with very different ideals than him... Maybe it was easy to be with Finn...But Hanna gave him a fearful vibe that made him scared to even breath the wrong way.

“Next to her spot is Jacob,” 

A shy looking man, with a scruffy beard, more messy than his hair, wrapped in a very oversized jacket looked over the fire with a small smile. How funny he looked so cold, while Hanna had been warm enough to be content with nothing but pants on.  
“H-hi…” 

“And then there is Penny.” 

A skinny, tall, black man in a very skimpy kind of outfit waved. 

“Yo~” 

Finn patted his back.  
“Everyone, this is Sean. He’s gonna chill with us tonight, and celebrate!!” 

The four around the fire raised their beer cans with a cheer. 

“Come sit, little Sean!!” Penny said and patted next to himself. 

Sean nervously laughed.  
“Uh- sorry, I need a second to be on my feet…” 

Finn wrapped an arm around Sean’s shoulder.  
“Me and Sean-“ 

Finn was cut off by Hanna. “Sean and I-“ 

“Whatever! Sean and I just road around in my new hot rod~” 

“The bike you stole?” Cassidy questioned with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah!” Finn said, glowing with pride. 

As Sean continued to scan the surroundings a question bubbled in him. 

“Hey-...where are your dogs?” Sean questioned. 

“They are in my tent.” Finn said, pointing to a little green tent off to the side. 

“Oh-...! Cool!” 

“Speaking of...Did you as your dad about the dog? I kept mushroom safe, just for the little wolf.” Finn laughed. He kept his promise. 

“Uh-...No I didnt get the chance...sorry.” 

“It’s alright! Whenever it happens it happens. Until I get a no, i’ll keep mushroom saved just for you!” Finn smiled. 

Sean smiled back sweetly. 

“Alright love birds. Come sit. Have a smoke.” Hanna said. 

“And a beer!” Cassidy added. 

Sean nodded and took a seat around the fire. 

Finn sat next to him. 

“Did you get the munchies?” Finn questioned, looking to penny. 

“No, he didn’t...but I did. Penny was to paranoid to go out today.” Cassidy spoke. 

Finn smiled.  
“Sick!! You always pick the best snacks anyway.” 

“It’s cause I am one~” Cassidy winked at sean. Sean blushed and looked away form her and too the box cars wooden floor. 

“Yeah you are~” Hanna responded, squeezing cassidys ass. 

Cassidy squeaked and slapped her hand away. Hanna laughed. Penny laughed with her. Jacob rolled his eyes with a small smile. Finn high-fived Hanna. 

Sure this had began with a rocky start, but the longer he stayed, the more Sean felt welcomed…  
He felt warm…

Sean never thought he would say this about a ‘party’...but…  
He had a feeling this was gonna be the perfect way to spend the night relaxing.


	7. Jacobs Drunken Mistake

“So then, now that you were there, and acquainted, how was the party??” 

“Well…. Everything was going good....until-....until it wasn’t...and things got weird....”

“Weird? Well how did it get weird?? Was the party lame or something??”

“No no no! The party was awesome! For a while...!  
We sat around the fire, everyone curled up...  
Cassidy sang for us all and played her guitar...  
Penny and Hanna played a game of cards with me....  
We all shared a joint and told stories and Finn-....oh my lord...  
He had SO many stories to tell....  
We got the kind of deep you can only get when your high as a kite and just all talked genuinely to one another….  
He told me about all the places he had been and his adventures there....the dude has been everywhere and MORE!! Apparently after he got out of prison, he grabbed his shit and never wanted to take his freedom for granted again....”

“Prison-?! Wait sean, hold up!! What do you mean prison?!”

Sean hesitated…

“.....Finn has been to prison a few times....”

“A FEW TIMES?! As in more than once?! For what?!”

“He didn’t want to talk about it…”

“Sean, what are you getting wrapped up in man!! You don’t even KNOW these people?!”

“It was fine!! Just- you don’t get it, you would get it if you met him.”

Lyla sighed in frustration

“So I assume when he told you he’s been to PRISON a few times, things got weird and you left??”

“No....I-....I didn’t actually....”

“What could have possibly happened that would have made things weirder than that?!”

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“So ...your turn Sean…! In with the weed! Out with that negative bullshit!” Finn said as he passed the blunt to Sean. 

Sean was already so fucking high, and he couldn’t remember for a fucking second what they had been doing.

Sean has been here for almost 3 and a half hours. 

It’s funny…

It’s funny how much easier to meet people, make friends, talk and let down your walls after 3 and a half hours of bong hits and joint burns. 

Sean has felt like in 3 and a half hours he knew all these people in this box car well enough to have known them all his life, and just like the rest of them, he acted as such. 

It was so easy to listen to Penny get lost in theories that were suddenly just now starting to make sense. 

It was easy to get along with Hanna who suddenly didn’t seem to threatening or aggressive.

It suddenly seemed too easy to hold Cassidy’s hand and sing a song he didn’t know the words too. 

It was suddenly so easy to giggle at Finn’s stupid jokes and tricks and stories. 

It was suddenly so easy for Jacob to speak up, and speak out, and not continue to hide behind a wall of shyness ...Just like Sean. 

...Sean just stared at the burning joint between Finn’s fingers. 

“I-....uh-....what?” Sean sputtered out.  
The whole group laughed, including Hanna. 

“We’re playing inside out.” Cassidy reminded him. 

“...huh??” Sean questioned again. 

Finn giggled “Oh my god, you're so high…  
Alright. Inside out is a game I made up.  
You grab a joint, take a hit, and as your breathing out, you give one reason why you needed this smoke. In with the high, out with the bullshit that made you wanna get high. It’s therapeutic! And the more we tell, the closer we all get! We listen with no judgment and complete confidentiality.”

“Ooo~, look at Finn bustin out his thesaurus for the new suburban boy.” Hanna commented. 

Sean laughed a little. “Right ...So….” 

Penny laughed through his words.  
“Finn just went, now it's your turn...I went first, then Finn, now you.” 

“Right right right ...but-...what did you guys say??” 

“Well I told y'all why my nickname is Penny ...and Finn told us the first time he went to prison??” 

Sean looked horrified.  
“You’ve been to prison?!” 

“Woooow...you really were spacing!” Finn laughed.  
“Yeah ...I've been twice…”

“F-...for what?” 

“Well…” Finn sighed “lets just say, I’m not on good terms with my dad, and my mom is still locked up.” He finished his sentence with a laugh.  
“Now it's your turn sweetie!! Why do you need this joint~” 

Sean shook his head and pushed away the thoughts and questions of Finn’s crimes that landed him in prison…  
He thought for a second, and it didn’t take long for him to come up with an answer. 

“Ugh, in with the weed-“ Sean said as he took a huff of the joint. “And out with the bullshit my family puts me though.” 

“Oof, I feel that.” Jacob slurred as he took another swig of his almost empty beer can.  
Jacob hadn’t really smoked that much, he was more interested in overtaking the beer for the night. 

“Wanna elaborate?” Cassidy questioned. 

“My dad is just always on my back. He says he just wants what's best for me but I think that's bullshit. If he really cared he would let me live my life and not make me stay in this dump of a town. I hate it here and you guys are the only people who have been good to me.  
My little brother is a total cockblock and an absolute asshole, all the time.  
My grandparents couldn’t give a shit about me, they just want to see daniel because he is still young and cute. And they only wanna see my dad because they feel sorry for him after their daughter pulled this fuckin bullshit where she decided she was too good for her loving family and fuckin left! Without a goodbye ...” Sean vented, then taking another puff of the joint. 

The group fell quiet, they were not ready for such an outburst from this quiet boy...and they weren’t ready for what he had to say. 

Jacob began to laugh. 

Sean frowned “what's so funny?”  
This was very unlike Jacob to act this way. 

“Are you serious??” Jacob laughed. 

“Yeah...what are laughing at??” 

“Look, I’m not the kind of guy to ‘compare pains’ but you have to be kidding me.” 

Seans frown deepened.  
“I’m confused…” 

No one responded or interfered, just Jacob. 

“Why don't you think your dad cares about your well being?” 

“He-....He overreacts to EVERYTHING like the time he caught me smoking on the roof the other day—“ 

“Oh cry me a river!” Jacob was very out of character tonight. To be fair though, he was a full 6 pack and a half deep into his drunken state. Who would have guessed such a sweet quiet boy would be an angry drunk.  
“Oh, poor sean, your dad doesn’t want you dying a horrible painful death of lung cancer. And oh, how mean! He got mad you were up on a snowy, icy roof and easily could have fallen and hurt yourself? What a monster!!” 

“Hey, Jacob you need to cool it man, I think you’ve had too much…you’re starting to get out of control.” Finn began to reason. 

“Yeah, you need to chill man, cut it out.” Cassidy followed. 

Penny reached over and took Jacobs beer out of his drunken shaky hand. 

“You wanna know how lucky you are Sean?! None of us HAVE a family that gives a shit enough about us to lay down rules like that!! Penny doesn’t have any siblings, and his parents overdosed when he was 16!! Cassidy’s dad left when she was a baby and her mom threw her in the trash!! Literally!! Her mom tried to kill the baby so she wouldn’t have to deal with it, and she would be dead if she hadn’t been found and put into shitty foster care!! Lets not forget Hanna’s alcoholic dad who raised her since her mom was in prison, and lets not forget how ‘handsy’ he could get!! 

But no! Poor sean!

We don't have grandparents who bring us into their house with open arms! Oh! And poor sean! His little brother is around!! Kids are annoying! It’s their thing! But that doesn’t mean you lose your patience and all that bullshit!! At least you get to be with him!!” Jacob yelled, pointing at sean from across the fire. 

Sean looked horrified by Jacobs words, and slowly began to back away. 

“Jacob, I’m serious, stop it.” Finn growled, taking note of how deeply uncomfortable Sean began to become, and how insulting it was for Jacob to spill about the groups past.  
Cassidy was in shock by his words, she couldn’t speak. Hanna was so furious she was shaking. Penny just couldn’t find the words. 

“Oh don't act all high and mighty! We are all thinking about it!! You’re the best example in fact!! You’re dad betrayed your trust and got you and your brothers thrown in prison to save his own ass after he dragged you into his “family business” to sell drugs along with stealing and stip cars!!” 

“Jacob!” Finn yelled. 

“And lets not forget about your mom! Oh poor sean, Your mom ran away! You wanna see the scar on finn’s chest were his mom tried to stab him?!” 

Finn stood up. “Cut it out!!” 

“Why are you so mad at me now?! You’re the one who decided to share that shit about your dad!!” Jacob retaliated, slurring with drunkenness. 

“Yeah but I didn't bring up my mom!! Me and you had a deal!! I told you that in private to try and help you out after what you told me!!” 

“Who cares?? Aren’t we supposed to be sharing our secrets” 

“I care!!! Those weren’t your secrets to spill!! But You wanna spill dirty laundry? Than fine. The reason Jacob is so pissy because of Sean?? It’s because he’s gay, and his family used to be in a fucking cult, and after they found out his secret, they all shunned him out and his dad even tried to take a shot gun to him!! And he’s pissed sean doesn’t like his brother, because shen Jacob left, he left his little sister behind and is probably never gonna see her ass again because she’s apart of a dangerous fuckin cult!!” 

Jacob looked up at Finn in shock, and his eyes got watery. 

Silence grew around the fire.

Finn glared down at him from across the fire. 

“Go to bed Jacob. You’re drunk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you all or reading so far!! I know I might get some comments about Jacob this time, but I promise he will get better, he is not going to stay the bad guy, the guy was just really really drunk...Stay seated, he will get back to being the sweet quiet guy we know and love.


	8. Scars

“And that was it…. Finn grabbed Jacob by his arm and dragged him to his tent...Jacob zipped up the tent and within a minute was snoring…  
But that didn’t really make things any less uncomfortable ...It was already 1 in the morning, and I really was-....I just-....It was really really fucked up, because I couldn’t get his words out of my head ...and I couldn’t stop reliving the stories of these people in my head….  
They all-....They all have been through so much….  
Cassidy…having been abandoned and forgotten like she was trash as a baby…  
Hanna who was raised by her dad who-....sounded like he should be doing life in prison for what he did….  
Penny who’s been on his own since his parents overdosed….  
Finn with his dad who dragged him so far down ...and his mom who-...who took a knife to him apparently….  
Jacob-....who-....Jesus Christ ...I don't even-....I-....” 

Sean needed to stop to take a deep breath and sigh. 

“It’s horrible, and it probably is just the weed ...but I honestly feel bad….  
Jacob was SO drunk...and I really believe it was the booze that made him like that...I dont think for a second he as a person is like that, you know?? But-....I’ve never been so uncomfortable….he-...he honestly scared me really badly…..but-.....I honestly feel bad and-....If he would apologize I’d accept...but-....I-....I-....We all do bad and stupid things when we are wasted….  
I mean, it hasn’t even been a full year since that time I got drunk at Eric’s party and went streaking ...” 

Sean cringed, not at the memory; seeing he has none of this event, but from the memory of the embarrassment he felt…  
He couldn’t imagine what Jacob would be feeling once he was sober….

“The thing with his family must be fucking with him hardcore...and-....I-....I’m kind of sad that it took Jacob freaking out on me to realize-....well-...to realize where I was…!! I was in an abandoned boxcar, barely keeping warm by the fire...that's not a bad thing! But at the end of the night I had somewhere to go ...a place with a roof...and all four walls for one room….  
Sure, I was really rocky at first with my grandparents...but-...th-they really do seem to care about me...and just don’t know how to help…  
And sure me and my dad have been fighting...but like-...my dad has never pulled a shotgun on me...you know?  
I don’t know...maybe I need to just-....just forgive…  
Forgive my grandparents, and my dad, and Daniel…  
And take a minute to remember what I have and be thankful for that….  
I have no idea what I would do without my dad...I would probably be a mess if I lost him ...same with Daniel…

...And I know, I know...This is stupid and totally doesn’t sound like me to suddenly be so forgiving and shit...but-....that night….after I told Finn I wanted to leave...and he agreed to take me home….

Me and him talked a very long time…

He was too high to drive, and especially if he was gonna drive the motorcycle...so...we have to hoof it…

We walked the whole train tracks for so long in silence…  
But-...the wind in the trees...the light of the lantern Finn had brought to help light the way ...the coldness of that night…there was just something about it…

It was gonna be about an hour walk, one way. Finn easily navigated the way though…  
But we spent the first 10 minutes in absolute silence ...before Finn couldn’t take it and-...”

Sean laughed a little. 

“And he started-....just-....telling me jokes…  
I have no idea why...but he just-...started telling me jokes ...and he went through about 6 or 7 jokes-....before he got me to laugh ...and when I had laughed finally he started glowing with fucking pride.  
He-....He told me I’m far more handsome when I smile...and he likes when I smile…and-....and suddenly I felt ok again...and it was like nothing had happened…  
We just-....we walked and he made me laugh with stupid jokes that there is no way would have been funny coming from anyone who wasn’t him…  
But eventually- when I was calm enough...We did address the elephant in the room...or-...the woods...whatever…  
Either way, we talked about it….

Finn told me about his mom….  
She-...She is doing prison for life after trying to kill Finn when he was 9….  
I guess she was on a cocaine bender, and things started to stop making sense for her, and Finn had pissed her off somehow and bothered her while she was in the middle of doing a line in the kitchen...and she just totally lashed out…

He had a massive scar that leads from his chest to his neck and around to the back of his ear…

He-....he showed it to me ...le-....let me touch...him…

He also showed me the scars on the bridge of his nose when she had grabbed him by the back of the head and smash his head against the counter to try and knock him out so he couldn’t keep running away from her-...

And then he told me-....  
“Everyone has their scars, inside and out, and everyone has their stories…  
Some people’s scars are bigger than others...some are smaller…  
But all scars are still scars ...and they all still hurt…  
Some people just deal with their wounds in different ways…” 

He admitted to me, although he hates how Jacob acted tonight, he did admit that he-...he was kind of jealous of me…  
That he wished he had what I had…  
But then reminded me, that he has made peace with them in his own mind...and he is choosing to not let himself be the victim anymore…

He said-...  
“We all deal with our wounds in different ways…  
But in the end you have a choice on what to do with these wounds…  
Let them scar, let them heal, and move forward?  
Or keep pulling them open, and continue to feel your pain, and stay with it.” 

Finn told me, as we walked, that he can tell that Jacob still has quite a way to go before he is gonna be at the point where he lets his wounds recover...and in the process of finding his way to peace, he might try and take people who’s wounds are still open as well down with him, away from peace. 

He kind of convinced me to- to realize that I think I need to forgive...and let my scars form...rather than just let-...or...make myself keep bleeding out….

And-....before I knew it…  
The subject had changed...and he went back to distracting me with jokes and stories to make me laugh…  
And about half way through the walk-....he-....he saw how cold I was getting and he-...he wrapped his jacket around me...told me he is “used to freezing”, which made me laugh again…  
But then, as I was now in his jacket, he made one complaint that he could handle this ...but his hands were so damn cold...and then he asked me to warm them up for him….  
And-...  
The rest of the way back to my house-...we held hands….

Finn helped me sneak back into the house under the moonlight ...and I snuck past my dad, who had Daniel sleep with him, since he wanted to give me space to myself when he thought I was up in the guest room….and-....when we got up their, he-...

He kissed my cheek….  
And he-....he let me keep his jacket for the night….  
And like that he just-...hopped out the window and was gone …  
I-....I couldn’t sleep...and so I called you...”

Sean realized he had been rambling again…  
He paused and Lyla had yet to speak back…

“Lyla…? Are you still there…?”

A soft sleepy, yet comforting and reassuring voice came from the other end of the phone. 

“Yeah-....I’m still here, Sean.”

“...”

“...”

“...Lyla?” 

“..yeah…?” 

“....I think I have a crush on this boy….”


	9. Emojis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of 2019~  
> Hope you all like it :)

4 days.  
It’s only been a full 4 days since Sean, his father and his brother arrived in Beaver Creek.  
4 days...technically…  
This was the morning of the 4th day. 

6 more days till Christmas. 

10 more days till they were out of this place. 

…

Or, 10 more days till they were gone...and Finn would be a full state away, if not father based on how he moves around. 

All night after he had figured out the connection he had with finn was not a friendly one, he talked with Lyla, and tried to figure out what this all means then. 

If he isn’t straight then what is he? 

Looking back, he doesn’t THINK he has liked boys...but to be fair there weren’t many boys like finn, and he hadn’t really let himself feel this way for boys even if he had feelings for them...kind of like he hadn’t let himself feel the way he did for Finn before having the talk with Lyla…

What of Finn was the exception? Was that a thing? Could there be some kind of identity for “Straight, except for this dirty homeless boy I met on christmas vacation”? 

Or would that just be Bisexual? 

What the fuck is the difference between Bisexual and Bi-curious?? And what about Pansexual?? It sounded so similar!! 

There were so many gender identities and such a wild spectrum…  
And there are even more when you open up the door to the questions of if Sean was SEXUALLY attracted to men or just attracted generally.

Did he even find Finn sexually attractive?? He could be bi-romantic...  
To be fair he has never kissed or had sex with EITHER gender, so how is he suposed to really know?? 

He knew he was capable of getting aroused, and did have needs like almost every other 16 year old boy in the world, but he has never went out of his way to think about boys...but he could honestly say the same for girls…!! 

When he watches porn he couldn’t honestly say he was focused too hard on either of the stars...he kind of watched them both equally, but he thought that's kind of what everyone did…!  
Until Lyla told him her experiences his she primarily focused on the man and goes from there…  
and for the sake of seeing which of the two were more common, Lyla texted their friend Eric saying she herself was curious on what he focused on, making sure not to involve sean. It unsurprisingly was that Eric always focuses primarily on the women in the films he watched. 

They had their answer with that at least…

Lyla gave him the suggestion of trying to watch gay porn to see how that effects him, but it was late, he was stressed to the max, and exhausted. Honestly? Anything would work on him. 

Sean and Lyla discussed the wide and wild world of sexuality and identity...but it would be at around 5 that they had to stop…

Lyla’s mom had woken up for work and had seen Lyla was on the phone with Sean. She was not happy. 

Although Sean and Lyla are a boy and a girl, and both are attracted to the opposite gender, both of them agreed that that doesn’t mean they NEED to be in a relationship. And although they had tried to explain this to Mrs. Park, she did not understand…

Boys and Girls can be friends and both be attracted to the opposite gender without having any sexual attraction specifically to one another. 

This was just as strange an idea to lyla’s mom as it had been too the two when they were younger. 

For a while Sean and Lyla had been a thing when they were both 14, still trying to figure out themselves and what their closeness was, they were only together for a month in secret before realizing... this wasn’t for them…  
That they were close, but just because they were a boy and a girl and this close, doesn’t mean they HAVE to be together in a romantic relationship…  
They both saw each other more as siblings rather than friends or partners, and that’s FINE.  
But it did take a while for them to understand that is fine ...thus the month they spent as boyfriend and girlfriend. 

But either way, although the two knew that they were just friends, Lyla’s mom didn't fully believe it. She wanted Lyla off the phone immediately, and for her to go back to bed. 

After saying a quick goodbye to sean, vaguely telling him what happened, she hung up, and sean was left alone. 

Sean took this as some kind of sign that it was time to give it a rest. There was no way he was gonna be able to figure all this shit out like this, in this exhausted state. 

Kicking off his shoes, pulling off his socks, and sliding off his pants, he lay in bed.  
He stripped himself of Finn’s jacket, then his own jacket, and finally his own shirt. He was left in his boxers…  
But before fully laying down for the night ...Sean wrapped himself back up in Finn’s soft jacket.  
He curled up in its oversized length and pulled the blanket over himself and the coat. 

The comforting warmth and smell of Finn made it easier for Sean to drift to sleep. 

Finn smelt like weed and cheap cologne. He smelt like the last cigarette from the pack. He smelt like dirt, and redwood bonfires in the middle of summer...

He smelt wonderful in the weirdest way…

Sean fell asleep, and for the first time in 4 days, slept peacefully. 

He woke up at around 9. 

Sean was woken up to the sound of daniel and Chris, playing with Stephen and his trains, just outside the door. 

Both Sean and Esteban had taken a notice that Chris had been being grandparent-ed by Clair and Stephen, being their substitute with no other grandchildren to give their overwhelming grandparental nurturing too.  
Clair and Stephen had told Sean and Esteban about Chris’s home life...and how Chris sometimes needed a place to get away when he couldn’t be in his tree house...  
Chris was always welcome in their house, and even had his own house key!! 

All the way from upstairs, sean could hear his dad on the phone, and his grandma in the kitchen. 

Esteban was on the phone with a friend in the living room, talking in his mother tongue about cars.

Clair was futzing around as she made breakfast,informing the boys breakfast would be done in 10 minutes. 

With a deep breath, Sean rolled over in bed, not yet wanting to get up, and he grabbed his phone. 

He was groggy as he scrolled through his texts. 

One from Lyla 

Two from Eric 

One from Finn

One from Jenn-

Wait! One from Finn!! 

Sean opened up that chat and read to himself Finn’s text from just a few minutes ago. 

“Good mornin darlin  
Hope you slept well

Just wanted to text and say sorry about last night…  
Hope you still are down to hang out while you're still in the state...even if it's just with me rather than the whole group  
Hit me up when you’re awake sweetie  
I’m gonna be in the area this morning  
Maybe we can chat each other up lol” 

At the end of his text he had a little emoji hand that said “I love you” in sign language. 

He ended every text with that little emoji…

It made Sean laugh again. 

Before he promised anything, he wanted to see what the family was up too...but he did text back. 

“Hey...just got up…  
IDK if ill be able to come see you, but ill see what I can pull off :)” 

Fuck  
No  
That was stupid

He deleted that text and started over

“Hey Finn  
Just got up  
How long are you gonna be in town?  
I would really like that  
I really wanna see you again :)” 

God no!  
Desperate much?  
Ugh…  
Time to text Lyla first. 

Switching chat rooms he texted Lyla. 

“Hey, you around?” 

Lyla responded in a minute. 

“Yeah, glad to see you're alive lol” 

Sean laughed. 

“Lol yeah, I made it through the night” 

“So what's up?” She questioned. 

“...wanna play my love witch again??” 

Lyla responded immediately. 

“HELL YESS!  
What did he send you this morning??” 

Sean laughed a little. He was kind of embarrassed but he shouldn’t have been so surprised that she knew it was Finn he needed help with…  
Who the fuck else would it be??

Sean copied and pasted Finn’s text to Lyla.

“Don’t get too excited. He puts the ‘I love you’ emoji after every text lol” Sean added at the end. 

“Alright.  
Text him this; 

Yeah I’m down to meet  
When are u gonna be around?” 

Sure that wasn’t much different from his own original two texts, but somehow it seemed better. 

Sean compiled and sent that to Finn. So much for not wanting to make any plans before he knew what his family was up too today. 

Finn got back to him in a minute tops. 

“I’m about to get on my bike and head into town right now.  
Gotta do some shopping and shit for me and the group.  
Gonna bring the pups and try to sell them, but if they don’t sell I’m just gonna do shopping.  
Wanna come help me figure out how to get groceries for a group of 5 stoners along with christmas gifts with a 20 bucks limit??”  
Then the little hand emoji.

Sean showed Lyla. 

Lyla responded swiftly. 

“Tell him you're down.  
Be flirty~  
Say;  
I’m up to meet up if you're down to have me  
I’m sure I could help with the dogs  
Maybe if I’m there, people will be into the eye candy i bring and they’ll take a dog lol”

Lyla added a winky face with the tongue sticking out. 

“What?? No that's weird!!” Sean responded. Blushing at the idea of being flirty with Finn; the flirtation master.

“Lol he’s weird!! He’ll be into it” 

“Lyla no…” 

“Lol fine  
Try just the first part  
I’m down if you're down to have me  
I’m sure I could help with the dogs” 

“Ok”

“Then add;  
Also you make me confused and I wanna kiss your face.” 

“Lyla!! >:(” 

“Lmaooooo  
Don’t get fussy over there  
Honestly, with how chill he sounds? Being honest about how you feel about him might be a good idea…  
I doubt little old you telling him you think you might like him is gonna scare the boy off.  
Maybe he would be down to help you discover what you like~” Lyla teased, adding in the same teasing emoji winking with its tongue out. 

“No, I’m just gonna tell him I’m down to meet.”  
Sean sent with an emoji rolling its eyes. 

With that, he sent that to Finn, saying  
‘I’m down if you're down to have me  
I’m sure I could help with the dogs’

Finn just sent the hand emoji again with the number “12” 

Sean smiled and took a deep breath. 

Now…

How was he going to get to town...


	10. Dreadlocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To celebrate getting over 1000 hits, getting exactly 69 kudos, and the new year of 2020, I give you this extra long, kinda spicy chapter~ enjoy

Rubbing his eyes of sleep, Sean finally sat up. 

He was gonna start this morning off with a shower. It has been a while since he took one and thanks to Finn’s coat, he reeked of booze and smoke.

Digging through his suitcase, Sean pulled out his outfit for the day. He threw on his shirt from last night and walked out into the hall. 

Just as he suspected, there was Stephen, Chris and Daniel, all sitting around Stephens model.   
Esteban had most likely helped him up there, with the wheelchair and all.   
The three of them laughed and played.   
It was really nice to see such bright smiles. 

“Good morning, sean” Stephen said with a small wave. 

“Good morning” Sean responded with a small wave back. 

“Sean! This is SO cool! You need to check it out!! Grandpa has the coolest trains ever!! And he built them all himself!!” Daniel exclaimed with excitement. 

“Yeah!! And he let me and Daniel control one of them too!!” Chris added. 

Sean laughed a little at their excitement. 

“I’ll check it out in a minute. I’m gonna go grab a quick shower.” 

“Oh! Good idea! This morning your grandmother wanted to plan on going out to lunch, so that works out.” Stephen said. 

...Lunch? In town?? Perfect!! 

Sean already knew what he could do.   
During or after lunch, he could run off saying he was gonna go shopping for presents since he hadn't found anything good at the Christmas market, and go meet up with Finn!! 

Sean could feel his wide smile creeping across his face. 

“That would be awesome!! I was hoping to go to town sometime soon so…”   
Sean said before he began slowly wondering towards the bathroom, signaling the conversation was over for now. 

Stephen laughed a little.  
“Alright, great. Go get your shower and we can go talk to everyone about going out to lunch.” 

Sean nodded and with that went into the bathroom, as the boys went back to playing with the train. 

Walking into the bathroom, Sean put his clothes down on the counter. He shut the door, and locked it before turning on the shower, letting it warm up.   
He stripped down. 

Waiting around, naked, Sean began to think…

He looked at the door. 

Most likely, Sean wasn’t going to have the guest room forever to himself like he had last night. Eventually Daniel would want to come back to laying on an actual mattress…  
How long and how often was he gonna have this kind of time alone…?   
10 more days in Beaver Creek.   
10 most likely stressful days in beaver creek.   
Would it be so wrong to...let loose a little? 

While behind locked doors…why not kill two birds with one stone? 

Sean would spend this time doing a little bit of experimenting ...like Lyla had suggested. 

He had brought his phone into the bathroom with him…so everything he needed was just a click or two away...

Biting his lip, Sean weighed his options. 

Should he really do this? 

His elderly grandfather and two young boys were within earshot.   
What if sean slipped up and made noise? What if they heard the video on accident??

…

Shaky nervous fingers went into his phone, putting his settings on private so whatever he searched up wouldn’t show up in his search history. 

Sean slowly typed into the search bar. 

‘Pornhub gay’ 

Sean swallowed hard as he hesitantly clicked the link to open up the website. 

...

Seans eyes went wide at all the videos that were before him. His face flushed a deep red. 

His toes curled and he felt his dick twitch at the images before him. 

Two men doing-...  
Everything. 

So many videos. An overwhelming amount of videos. 

Sean felt like he was 12 again and he had just found out that he could google “boobs” on his laptop.

Scrolling through the front page videos, he saw men getting down and dirty in ways he did not know how to process. 

‘Twink gets hardcore throat fuck’ 

‘Ryan rock-hard gets destroyed in a 6 person gangbang’ 

‘Straight neighbor seduced by gay; all holes filled’ 

‘Cum shots to the face compilation pt. 27’ 

Taking a deep breath, Sean scrolled back up to the search bar. Upon opening it, there were suggestions.   
A lot of the suggestions were either names of actors, or listed characteristics. 

Sean thought about it for a moment of what he wanted to see…

He moved his fingers to the search bar, and decided.

‘Dreadlocks’ 

Scrolling through the videos, he wondered if they would have someone like Finn on there for him to watch…

With over 10 thousand videos, there had to be at least one skinny white boy with dreadlocks on here. 

Sean scrolled through about 20 videos before his breath was caught in his throat. 

A video simply called “Fucking Outdoors” 

The thumbnail was of two men, of course.   
One man was bent over a fallen log. The man holding his hips from behind-...he looked JUST like Finn.   
It of course obviously wasn’t actually Finn.   
The man there was blond, his messy dreadlocks were about 2 inches longer than Finn’s, and did not have any face tattoos…the man also looked at least 5 or so years older than Finn.  
But he was close enough to Finn with his body tattoos, and his skinny, wiery frame. The dreadlocks were just as messy and unkempt. 

He looked like knock off finn, but...nonetheless, the closest thing Sean’s as gonna find on this web sight to his crush. 

Jesus, this guy even had similar piercing blue eyes like Finn.   
An absolute score. 

Well….  
This answered one of the numerous questions Sean had for himself. 

Sean did like men sexually. 

He liked them so much it hurts, in fact. 

He was gonna need to take care of the painful problem this video had created…

Sean turned the volume all the way down, and clicked on the video. 

As most porns do it opened up with some stupid dialogue and story that no one cared about. 

Sean impatiently skipped ahead to the main event as Lyla’s voice rang through his ears ‘you thirsty bitch’.

There it was. 

Two men, deep in the forest. 

Completely bare. 

There was a smaller man, with brown hair who had his arms wrapped tightly around the shoulders of the dread-head who had him pinned against the log. The brown haired boys fingers tangled in that messy dirty mane of dreadlocks, pulling at them gingerly. 

As the man with dreads held both their hard dicks in one hand, slowly stroking them together, he rocked his hips against the brown haired man. 

The man with dreadlocks began leaving a dark hickey on the neck of the man against the log. His free hand wondered his soft body and found its way behind him, taking this chance to squeeze his ass roughly.

Sean’s mind began to wonder as he pictured the man against the log as himself, Finn the one pinning him against it. 

His mind brought back the smell of Finn’s coat to his nostrils.   
The woodsy, dirty, natural smell that defined Finn, that had cradled him last night to sleep.   
Wood and fire and pot. Cigarettes and lust. 

Sean wanted to be dirty like that. 

Dirty like Finn. 

Sean skipped further ahead. 

He watched as the dominant man with dreadlocks, rolled his partner over on the log. He had him bent over.   
Clawing at his lovers hips, he lined himself up and slowly, teasingly began to move in.   
Sean couldn’t hear it, but the way the brown haired man’s mouth moved, he could see he was begging, sensually reaching behind himself to try and pull his lover closer. 

Sean slowly moved a hand down his body, just about to take his hard length into his hand-

when a knock came at the door. 

In a moment of panic, Sean yelped out loudly the word “Nothing!!” As he closed down the app on his phone, swiping it away without thinking. He threw his phone onto the counter as far away from him as he could get it. 

A confused voice came from the other side. 

“Uh-....Sorry to bug you sean...just wanted to make sure you had a towel.” Came Claire's voice. 

Sean took a deep breath. 

“Y-yeah...I’ve got one...thank you!!” He yelled through the door. 

Clair hummed in approval and left.   
Sean took a deep breath. 

He sighed and felt the water. It was nice and warm…

Sean decided to make the water ice cold to avoid taking care of the problem down south in a different way. There was no way he was gonna be able to do that after getting spooked by Clair. 

Getting in the shower he shivered, but as he washed himself, the old trick had worked. 

He washed his hair and his body, letting the water get warmer now. He took deep breaths and thought of his family to turn himself off even more, just in case the burning water made anything rise back up. 

Sean made the shower quick.

Upon getting out he found a towel on the rack, and wrapped it around himself to begin the process of drying off. 

Once fully dry, Sean slipped on his fresh clean clothes and threw the towel over his wet hair.   
He brushed his teeth, brushed his hair, and gave himself a look over.   
He was ready for the day ahead. 

Leaving the bathroom he found his father helping Stephen down the stairs. 

“Ah! Sean!” Esteban exclaimed. “Good morning!” He said with a smile. 

Sean smiled back, which Esteban found kind of surprising.   
“Mornin Dad.”

Esteban’s smile grew a little more.   
This was such a small thing, but it’s been a while since he’s seen his son give a genuine smile like that, especially on a morning. 

“You’re looking better this morning...Did you get some good sleep??” Esteban asked as he brought Stephen down stairs, who continued to mumble apologies for being such a pain and thank yous for Esteban's kindness to help him out. 

“I did…!” Sean said. “Got more sleep than I expected...slept really well too…How was sleeping with Daniel?” Sean asked with a small laugh. 

Esteban found himself at the end of the stairs, setting Stephen up again to continue on his own in this wheelchair, and after exchanging responses to his apologies and thank yous with “no problems” and “you have no need to apologizes”, he turned to his son and replayed. 

“It was alright, but he is a kicker! Really…  
I have a little indent in my back where his tiny feet kept hitting.” He laughed a little.   
Sean laughed with him. 

Esteban truly wanted to ask what had changed…  
Could it really have been just a good night's sleep like he had thought it was? In fear of ruining it though, he didn't ask and just enjoyed his son’s warmer attitude. 

Sean took note of his fathers genuine happiness that he portrayed, and knew he could never tell his father just what had gotten into him.   
It was better he just assumed it was a good night's sleep rather than a wake up call he had gotten from an angry drunk homeless gay teenager in a boxcar down by the train tracks…

Breakfast went well. 

Clair was done by the time Sean had gotten into the kitchen.   
The reason Esteban had been helping Stephen down was because breakfast was ready to be served.   
Chris and Daniel already sat together at the table, being scolded by Clair for playing with their pancakes. 

Sean smiled, being greeted with a plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon! A total classic breakfast. 

Clair complimented Sean on his appearance, happy to say he looked like he was becoming a very handsome young man with age. 

Sean spent the morning with his family around the table having breakfast, listening to Daniel and Chris tell the group of their epic adventure as Captain Spirit and Super Wolf. 

Esteban was surprised with how content Sean seemed, as he listened to his little brothers stories of wonder and fantasy that excited within the imaginary world the two wonderful boys had invented. 

Breakfast went smoothly.   
And over breakfast, they made the plans for the day.   
They were gonna go out to lunch around 1 at a sleepy little diner in down. 

Chris and Daniel were put on dish duty after breakfast was finished, by Clair to get the boys busy for awhile. 

Stephen went off to his study to go work on one of his trains.

Esteban and Sean retired to the couch, stomachs full of fluffy pancakes.   
They decided to see what was on tv as they found their spots on the sectional. 

They found the hallmark channel and were pleased to watch the horrible cheesy movies they had playing, and make fun of them together. 

Sean found himself enjoying and appreciating this time with his father a little more with Jacobs message in the back of his head…

He was thankful for this comfortable moment.   
He was thankful for a lot of things today…

That being said though...  
He could not wait to get out of here.

Because someone would be waiting for him very soon….


	11. M&D’s Dinner Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> So, I know a while ago I promised a mostly Daniel and Chris chapter that would be out around 10 or 11...but I just have not found the right time to intergrade it into the story...  
> But don’t worry!! There will be a Daniel and Chris centric chapter coming soon lol.  
> For now?  
> Enjoy~

Being at lunch was surprisingly easy…

Charles and Chris joined us, and so Daniel was very happy to simply be where he was. Clair and Stephen had invited two of their friends, another lovely elderly couple named Alen and Agatha, to lunch with the family. The group of couples chartered about everything from church, to gossip, to Alen’s new hip, too what handsome men the children were growing to be. While Charles and Esteban chirped back and forth to one another about their similarities, Chris and Daniel played. 

With everyone pleasantly busy with everyone else, it was even easier to sneak away. 

With this new attitude Sean had been portraying since this morning, Esteban seemed to relax. He was a little less strict, a little less pushy, a little less worried.  
So when Sean finished his lunch half way, admitting he was already full and wanted to take his leftovers home for later, and wanted to spend this new found time in town looking for Holiday gifts while everyone was distracted; esteban gave him a smiling nod, and 100$ just like that!! 

Things seemed to be turning around for Sean…

Sean told his father the names of some stores he saw one the way there, and told him he would be in those areas if they needed him. He also warned to call before coming to get him if they did, because he didn't wanna get caught with gifts from Santa. Esteban understood, patted him on the back, and with that, sean was free. He bought the lie.

Sean basically ran out of the restaurant. 

Out the door, he got out of sight of the restaurant and pulled out his phone. 

He texted Finn. 

“Hey…  
In town  
Where are u?” 

Instead of a text back, Sean revived a phone call, minutes after the text had been sent. 

Picking up with shaking hands, Sean raised the phone to his ear. 

“H-hey!!” Sean blurted out, voice cracking with anxiety.  
Fuck. That made him sound so fucking stupid didnt it?? He pulled the phone away from his ear, flushing red and face palming.  
Really?? He had to answer the phone THAT excited??  
He cleared his throat quickly, before pulling the phone back.  
“I uh-...Hi…” He said again, a lot quieter this time, shyly. 

Finns sweet laugh came from the other end of the phone. 

“Well hello to you too sweetie~” He drawled. “You alright?” Finn could hear Sean’s anxiety through the phone. 

“Y-....” Sean took a deep breath. “Yeah I’m alright...I’m uh-...I’m in town...where are you at??” 

“Well...Do you know where Snakers is?” Finn questioned. 

Snakers?? The fuck was that?? 

“U-uh...no, no i don't…” 

“Oh ok...well..where are you? Maybe I can help you find where I am from where are you??” 

Sean looked around himself. 

“Well...I just came from a place called “M&D’s Dinner Place”...” 

That was Clair and Stephens favorite restaurant. 

It was a little broken down family run diner in the middle of town. M and D stood for Mom and Dad. 

Apparently, that was the restaurant Clair had been working in high school.  
Her mom was a friend of the family, so they let her join in on the family business action, since they were the type that didn’t believe family was stricken to only blood.  
That actually related to the restaurant little motto; “Once you're in the door, you're part of the family.”

It wasn’t just the place she got her first job though…  
This was where Clair also met the man who would become her husband of 46 years, goin on 47 years.

One day after school, Stephen had come into the restaurant on a whim to meet up with a friend…  
Alen to be exact! And the second Stephen saw Clair, in her pretty little blue dress/work uniform, that was it.  
He had been too nervous to talk to her the first time they met, and he couldn’t speak without tripping over his words. His friend actually had to order for him because he couldn’t get the words out fully. 

Stephen, with the help of Alen, ordered a strawberry milkshake. 

Clair came back with it, making a snarky little comment about how ‘it’s a little inmasculine for a man such as yourself to be drinking such a fruity smoothie.’  
Clair had always been a bit sassy, even when she was young. 

Stephen couldn’t respond. 

Clair made another sarcastic comment ...followed by a little giggle…  
She thought it was cute the way he stuttered to respond, and flushed red when she placed her hand on his shoulder. 

Stephen said he regretted leaving the restaurant without asking for her number...  
But that wasn’t a problem…  
Because he came back the next day…  
And the day after that…  
And the day after that…  
Buying the same bright pink milkshake, sitting at the same booth, till he could find it in himself to muster up the courage to ask her on a date…  
Which he never actually did...

It was actually about a month and a half into this whole routine, that Clair actually made the first move, realizing Stephen was too shy. 

She was cleaning the floor with a mop. 

It had been slow that day in the diner and it was only her, the cook in the back, and Stephen.  
Stephen was the only customer in the little diner.  
On the jukebox, came the song “Love Letters In The Sand” by Pat Boone.  
Whistling along to the opening, Clair decided to swirl her way over to the back booth where Stephen sat. The same place he sat after school every day for the past month and a half. 

Using her mop as her dance partner, she wondered over…  
“You know ...A girl like me shouldn’t have to be so desperate for a dance, she needs to find her company in a mop...care to shake it up with me?” She had giggled.  
Stephen still remembers those words clearly 46 years later like she had just spoken them. 

Quickly, when she had offered, Stephen stood, and took Clair’s hand. 

Dancing around the little diner, the two teens swayed.  
And for the first time, Stephen was able to speak through his flush. 

He told her just how beautiful he found her, and just how amazing he thought she was as he led her around the slippery floor. 

Clair simply smiled and replied “You know what I like more than dancing?”  
When Stephen replied “what?” She happily responded with “Movies~ I’d love to go to the movies...if you’ll pay for popcorn that is~” 

Stephen was so shocked that SHE was asking HIM out, he slipped and fell right on his ass.  
Clair giggled again. 

The next day, Stephen picked Clair up from the diner at 6, and had her home by 8. And from there? The rest was history, and “Love letters in the sand” Played at their wedding. 

Must be somethin about Beaker Creek man…  
Must be somethin in the air…

“Alright, I think I know the place?” Finn replied. “Take a left I think, and keep walking to the end of the street. Tell me when you get there and what you see?” 

“Ok…” Sean responded as his feet began to move his body left.  
At the end of the street there were a few more little stores. Sean gave Finn some names, and soon enough he was able to give sean the right direction to come find him. 

Snakers was a tattoo and piercing parlor. They had a really cool sign of a snake, baring its fangs as it looked mid hiss.  
Outside the shop, sat Finn.  
When they were in eyesight, they both hung up, and Finn waved at him till he got over there. 

Finn stood up from his fold up chair he had out there with he pups, and instantly pulled Sean into a big bear hug. 

That smell…  
Finns oddly wonderful smell flooded and overwhelmed Sean’s senses.  
weed and cheap cologne. The last cigarette from the pack. Dirt, and mahogany wood bonfires in the middle of summer. 

Fuck…

Sean would happily drown in this dirty, natural, wonderful smell of another man.  
Hesitantly he put his arms back around Finn to return the hug. 

Finn didn't let go of him, but pulled back just enough so that they could both look at each other. 

“Glad you found your way, sweetie!” He laughed before letting go.  
He looked so cold without his jacket, yet he radiated the warmth of love and acceptance.  
He made his way back over to his chair in slow strides. 

Sean laughed a little too. “I’m glad i did too… Where did you get the chair??” 

Once seated, Finn answered.  
“I have a good friend inside, who does all my piercings. He let me borrow the chair.” 

This was kind of odd to Sean.  
Finn only had his nose done, and gauges in his ear. How could they be good friends when the wouldn’t have spent that much time together…  
Unless…  
Finn had some piercings in places he couldn’t see….  
Like his—  
No. Shut up. Bad. Gay thoughts be gone. 

Sean decided not to question it. 

“Oh, cool!” He smiled. 

“Yeah,” Finn smiled back “and it's the perfect spot. The liquor store is right next to this place, and then right across the street is a shopping complex thingy, and a little grocery store. That means, drunks and people lookin desperate for christmas gifts are gonna pass by me.”

“Yeah that is a pretty good spot!” Sean said as he crouched down next to Finn. Looking into the box of puppies, He found that Finn had actually given away about 6 of them already!! That left 2 pups, plus the little one Daniel named Mushroom. Sean knew Finn would give the dogs away to nothing less than a great home, so it was sweet to think cute pups were taken with good people. 

Finn saw this and instantly stood up.  
“Here, take my seat.” He offered. 

Sean looked confused.  
“What? Why?” 

“Well ...I mean...I don't want you squatting like that...looks uncomfortable…  
Times, I’ve been sitting on my ass for the past hour or so...I need to stretch my legs a bit…” Finn said, gesturing to the chair. 

Sean smiled a little and took the seat. Finn stood next to him, stretching a little. 

“So ...How much money have you made?” Sean questioned. 

Finn thought for a moment.  
“Well...I sold mostly in ones...but I did sell two in a pair....so-“ Finn tried to calculate in his head.  
“I should have 65 bucks...plus the 20 I came here with…”  
A smile crept across his face. 

He shot sean a sweet look.  
“Not too shabby if I say so myself!!” 

Sean laughed a little and let his eyes wonder as to avoid making eye contact out of nervousness. 

“Care to tell me what you’ve been up too, sweetie?” 

Sean thought for a moment. 

“Well...This afternoon I went out with my grandparents, a few of their friends, and my dad and brother out to lunch.” Sean replayed. 

Finn lt out a whistle. “Daaaaang ...didnt know you had that many family members.” 

Yeah...Sean forgot…  
That must seem like a lot of people to be together to him… 

Sean changed the subject a little. 

“....Did you grow up with a small family??” 

“Nah…” finn laughed. “I had 3 brothers, my mom, my dad, and my moms girlfriend.” 

“O-....oh?” Sean replayed. 

“Yeah...I was the baby of 4~” Finn laughed. 

Sean got brave.  
“Where are they now?” 

“....Prison…  
all three of my brothers are in prison, and my mom is in an asylum…  
And I don't talk to my dad anymore...and me and my moms girlfriend weren’t exactly close…” He sighed. 

“I-...I’m sorry” Sean admitted. 

“It’s alright...nothin to cry over. It’s for the best. Times...talking about this shit is good...this isn’t the kind of thing you wanna hold inside till it boils up in you...” Finn responded. 

“....C-.....can I ask what happened?” 

“Yeah ...It's ok…  
...my dad used to run a little business…  
He got me and my brothers in on it. We stole, stripped, and resold cars….  
When we got caught, me and my brothers stayed strong and refused to talk...But for his own freedom, my dad sold all of us in…  
My brothers and me went to prison or 6 years before I got out on good behavior...but my brothers are still in the slammer…  
And of course you already know about my mom…” 

Sean didn't really know how to respond.  
He was taken back to their walk home.  
When Finn told him about his mom...and why the gang and Jacob feel kind of jealous he takes for granted those who love him….

Finn let out a sigh before speaking again.  
“But the past is the past. She cant hurt me now, neither can he, and my brothers will be out hopefully in no time…  
But after I got out of prison I was just like “FUCK EVERYONE.” And that's how I ended up here…  
I ran away and made a new little family with other people on the run…  
And honestly-...” He smiled “I’m so happy with how I am…  
Sure we don't have a lot…  
But we have each other...we have what we need...and we get to travel everywhere and anywhere and meet people all across the country…  
People like you…” He winked at sean.  
“The only part that really sucks about constantly moving, is I tend to get obsessed over the people I meet….  
The people like y-....Well...actually ...I haven’t met anyone like you to be honest…” Finn laughed. 

Sean knew is face must have been beet red. 

“I've never met anyone remotely like you either….” Sean laughed. 

Finn laughed a little too. 

“Guess we are both a new experience for one another~” Finn smiled at him. 

Oh Finn….  
You don't even know the half of it...


	12. Caught in the act.

“So there I am- knee deep in water, holding a possum that’s trying to claw its way up to the top of my dreads to lay its eggs or whatever the fuck possums do, and Cassidy is just SCREAMIN—  
Oh hi ma’am! So sorry, its 10 for one, 15 for two.   
But anyway,   
Cassidy is screamin and I’m just like “Bitch calm down!! I got this under control!!”   
That's when Hanna comes in and is like—  
Oh, no, sorry ma’am, that dog isn’t for sale…”   
Finn went back and forth from telling Sean a story, to talking to a woman who was trying to buy mushroom. 

“What do you mean…?” 

“She’s on hold for a little boy…”

The woman looked at him confused. 

“But-...she would be the most perfect puppy for my daughter-“ the woman said, beginning to get aggressive. 

“No doubt about that! All the pups would be perfect! Buuuuuut-....a promise is a promise...I told him I would hold onto this girl till his dad was ready to buy.” Finn said, picking up the little pup from the box. 

Sean gently put a hand on Finns shoulder.   
“You-...You really don't have to do that dude. There’s no way-“   
Finn raised a hand and shook his head.   
“A promise is a promise. And I NEVER break a pinkie promise. Until I hear that there is no way your dad is gonna buy mushroom, This little gal is on hold.” 

“That is not fair ...! You don't even know if they are going to buy the dog at all! But I’m right here ready to buy right now…!”   
The woman’s shrill voice made Sean cringe a little.   
“You said 10 for one? I'll give you 20.” 

The next 10 minutes Finn and the stranger would haggle over the dog, and no matter how high she raised the price, Finn continued to try and push one of the other adorable baby dogs onto her. Even when she offered 100$ for the dog, he simply shook his head no, and said “a promise is a promise.” 

Eventually she got frustrated and left.   
Finn didn't care. He shrugged it off and turned back to sean as he put the pup back into the blanketed box. 

“So like I was saying-“ 

Sean cut him off. 

“Finn...that woman just offered you 100 dollars!! For one dog!! Why didn't you take her money??” Sean said, baffled he wouldn’t take the money. 

Finn looked a little upset at Sean’s disbelievement. 

“Sean, sweetie...I’m not doing this for the cash…  
I’m doing this to give my dogs babies good homes…  
Honestly, i was actually planning to give them away for free, before Cassidy nagged me into setting a price…  
The money is a plus. I can take it or leave it. I’ll get by either way.   
It will be worth it when I get to see your little brothers smiling face on christmas.” Finn smiled. 

“....Finn...My dad probably is NOT gonna let Daniel have the dog…” Sean frowned. “And you NEED that money….you’re homeless…” 

Finn frowned in response. 

“....You really don't understand my life ...do you?” 

“What do you mean?” Sean questioned. 

Finn shook his head a little with a small laugh. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected you to get it after just one night on the run...it’s alright…” 

“No…! No it's not alright...explain it to me!!” Sean said. He had an overwhelming anxiety wash over him. He worried this little thing might make Finn see him in a lower light. 

Finn simply laughed. 

“It's really fine, sweetie...not many people get it.   
My life isn’t about money…  
And I’m not homeless…  
I’m HOUSELESS.   
Big big difference.” 

“...” Sean couldn’t help it when he laughed a little. He thinks he might be getting it now, and just realized what he had gotten himself into, falling hard for a hippie. 

Maybe Sean didn't get it…  
Maybe sean wouldn’t get it…  
Not for a lack of trying, but rather simply because as long as Sean has a roof over his head, a loving family, and a refrigerator...He simply could not fully understand. He was one of the lucky ones. 

Sean let it go…choosing instead to make jokes. 

“Jesus, How could I forget I was sitting next to the hippie king.” Sean let slip out.

He automatically wish he hadn’t, what if it was the wrong response to be joking? He’s still not sure where the boundaries with this still VERY new person lied. He prayed he had been picking up on the vibes right and that joking like this was alright. 

He had been sitting with Finn for over two hours. They sat and just got lost in conversation.   
Sean shared a bit more about his life with Finn.   
Told him about school, his art, his dad, a little about his mom, and even about Lyla.   
Finn made him feel safe and comfortable enough to spill his life story like it was nothing.   
For every fact about himself, Finn would match it, with a fact about himself, and a story in relation. 

…

Finn talked a lot. 

Which wasn’t technically a bad thing!!

He seemed to be very chatty when it came to Sean, like he was just so excited to spill his guts to him, unlike how quiet he seemed to be around everyone else. Not to say Finn wasn’t a wonderful listener, who let Sean talk for as long as he pleased, he just seemed so excited to speak next, like he hoped they could just talk forever and tell Sean everything that came to mind. 

Rather than Finn giving off the impression he just wanted to hear himself talk, Sean felt part of his chattiness was part of the fact he could tell Sean was anxious to speak.   
Sean will admit to himself that every word he has let from his lips HAS been pretty over calculated to try and get the best reaction from Finn….  
He most likely was just trying to talk, so Sean wouldn’t feel pressured to talk more than he wanted to. 

Sean also knew it was because Finn liked to make him laugh…  
Every time he got a giggle from sean, he would get this big goofy grin on his face that had him smiling from ear to ear, showing off his missing tooth.

They have grown closer than he expected with Finn…  
And he was comfortable enough to joke around with him…  
He just prayed Finn felt the same way. 

His anxiety took this as a chance to remind him he wasn’t that funny and joking about Finn's views on life might be a shit decision. 

But-....The anxiety faded when Finn laughed.   
Sean got him to laugh. 

“That is Sir Hippie King, to you, suburban scum~” Finn joked back, adding a wink. 

After a moment of little laughs, Finn spoke again.   
“...I will let you have this though...because I do need a LITTLE money to get by, I’ll admit….   
Penny has been blowing up my phone non-stop about getting groceries…  
Food is technically a necessity…” 

Sean laughed again. 

Finn smiled. 

“You wanna do me a favor, Darlin?” 

What Sean’s head told him to say was “Anything for you~” in a swave cool and flirty tone, to match Finn’s playful tone. 

What he actually said was a stuttered “y-yeah sure!” 

Finn put his hand on Sean’s head and-....ran cold, skinny, boney fingers through thick black hair… 

They were both quiet for a few moments. 

“....You need a haircut…” He mumbled, looking down at the boy in the borrowed fold up chair. Finn was acting like he totally had forgotten what they were just talking about and like it didn't matter. 

Sean shivered a little as such sweet touches. He laughed slightly, finding it funny his forgetfulness to this. 

“W-....what?” 

“Your hair is covering up your pretty face…  
I don't like it.  
You need a haircut.” 

“....what does that have to do with groceries?” Sean sassed. 

Finn laughed again. He really felt like Sean had been opening up this time around to him, even more than before, and it made him proud that he was able to talk and joke and sass with Sean. 

“Nothin...Just somethin on my mind~” Finn responded.   
“What I was gonna ask was, will you watch the dogs for me?? I’m gonna run across the street and grab some groceries and junk, then come back.   
I can trust you right?” 

What Sean’s head told him to say was “of course you can!” in a swave calm and confident tone.   
What he actually said was- nothing…  
He just gulped, and smiled with a quick nod of the head. 

“Thanks sweetie~”   
Finn pulled his hands from Sean's hair and with a wink, began walking away.   
“I owe ya one man!!” 

And with that ...Sean was left alone with the dogs. 

Sean sat alone with the dogs for about 10 minutes, and when no one walking by seemed to take an interest in the dogs, Sean decided to check his phone. 

...Fuck…

14 missed calls from his dad.   
19 unread messages from his dad. 

Speak of the devil as Esteban's voice could be heard from the other end of the street. 

“Sean!!” He began running over. He was alone. 

Once close enough, he grabbed sean by his shoulders. 

“What the hell, hijo?! I've been looking all over for you and trying to get in touch with you!! You know how anxious I get when I can't find you!! We are in another state that I don't know that well! What am I supposed to do if I lose you??” 

Sean knew his dad was stressed, because his accent became thicker and thicker with worry.   
He took his father's hands on his shoulders. 

“Dad...calm down ...I'm really fine…!! I promise!!” 

“Well ...what are you doing over here?? What is all this??” Esteban pointed to Finn’s set up. “And why are you sitting out in front of a liquor store and a piercing parlor?? I thought you were out getting gifts!!” 

Yeah, this definitely wasn’t looking good for Sean. 

“Dad I can explai-“   
That’s when Sean heard Finn’s voice. 

“Hey, so, This place didn't have all the shit I was looking for. I’m looking for shit that won't spoil or go bad...but then it gets 10 times hard because I have to make sure we have vegan stuff for Penny, Gluten free stuff for Jacob, and jerky for Hanna because it the woman doesn’t get her jerky she gets cranky, with a budget max of 85 bucks... This place was small had like nothing I was looking fo-... sorry, am-...am I interrupting something ...?” Finn questioned, looking at Sean and his Father. 

Esteban looked to his eldest with a troubled, confused face. 

Sean didn’t know what to say. 

“Well ...Sean…? Care to tell him what's going on??” Esteban questioned. 

“...F-....Finn, this is my dad ...Dad, this is my friend Finn.” 

Esteban looked Finn up and down and scowled. This did not both Finn. He is always getting dirty looks from strangers. Finn decided to be a bigger man. 

He held out a dirty hand to esteban. 

“Pleasure to meet ya’ sir!” Finn laughed. 

Esteban just stood there...not sure what to do or say…  
He just sighed and looked back at sean. 

“You have a LOT of explaining to do.” 

Sean simply nodded. 

“Stay. Here.   
I’m gonna go grab the truck and come pick you up and we are going home.” 

Sean nodded, not looking him in the eyes out of embarrassment. 

Esteban huffed and went back off to go get his truck. 

Once alone, Finn came to his side. 

“....sorry…” 

“What? Why are you sorry?” Sean questioned. 

“I shouldn’t get you involved ...with me…I am kind of a shit influence...” 

Sean looked very confused. 

“Finn, Just because my dad is acting weird doesn’t mean you need to be sorry for being my friend, or sorry for my mistakes…” 

“I just feel bad...I can already tell, just off looks your dad doesn’t like me...and usually I don't give a shit what people think about me, but ...I kind of want him to like me…” 

Sean gave finn a questioning look.   
Finn just shook his head again and laughed a little. 

“Its-....Its nothing.   
Can you do me a favor?” 

Sean nodded. 

“Wanna help me look up a bigger grocery store before you go? My phone is about to die…” 

“Oh- yeah! Definitely!” Sean said, grabbing his phone quickly, not wanting to stay on this topic anymore either… 

Finn draped himself over Sean’s shoulders to get a good look at his phone. 

“You would think as we are houseless, these people would be less picky on what food they can get.”

Pulling out his phone, Sean opened up his browser and had to instantly shut his phone back down with a yelp. 

Sean didn’t get rid of the video he had been watching, and it was still opened up on his phone, but it was too late. 

“...” 

“...was that-“ 

“You didn't see that…”

“...that dude totally looked like me….  
Was that-“ 

“No, no he didn't, shut up ...!” 

Finn laughed. 

He wrapped his arms around sean from behind.   
He leaned in and whispers in his ear. 

“I know what I saw…  
Does someone have a crush on me?~” He snickered. 

Sean turned bright red. 

That’s when Esteban pulled up in front of the sidewalk in his truck.   
He opened the passengers side door.   
“Sean!! Get in the car!!” 

Sean quickly got up out of Finn’s grip, not before Finn snuck in a sneaky kiss on the cheek, before running to the car. Finn laughed and waved from the sidewalk. 

Sean covered his red face from view once in the car. He was so fucking embarrassed and felt absolutely humiliated. 

Finn called out after them as esteban drove away. 

“Bye sweetie!!!”


	13. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wanting more Esteban, here you go~  
> Enjoy

“So that's what all this has been about??” 

“I don't know what you’re talking about” Sean mumbled into his hoodie sleeve. He kept his eyes out the window strictly. 

“Sean. You can't hide this from me. He is the reason you’ve been acting better...isn’t he?” 

“...” 

“Sean…” 

“...” 

“Sean…!” 

“And so what if he is?! You WANT me to be miserable?! He’s the only reason I've been in a good mood all day…” 

“I saw him kiss your cheek.” 

“...I didn't ask for that.” 

“Yet you don't seem mad about it either…” 

“...” 

“Sean...Dont shut down on me. You can't avoid this.” 

“...” 

“...who was that boy sean?” 

“Just a friend!!”

“He seemed to be more than just friendly on his goodbye.” 

“Finn is just like that!! He is a huggy kissy touchy feely person! That’s not my fault!!” 

“So his name is Finn…?”

Sean let out a frustrated groan. 

“....does Jenn know??” 

“...Me and Jenn aren’t a thing dad, I told you I was interested, and she wasn’t.” 

“Then let me rephrase that, How come you told me about Jenn but not Finn?” 

“There isn’t anything to tell!! I met him at the christmas market the other day, me and him had some kind of connection, we started talking and we are FRIENDS. I’m not-...I’m not even into him!! I-...I can't be!!” 

“.....Can’t?” 

“Yeah!! He’s-...He’s him!! And I've only known him a full 2 days!!” 

“Oh…” Esteban let out a relieved sigh. 

“...Oh?” Sean questioned.

“I thought you meant you can't because...you thought it wasn’t ok.” 

“No dad...I know its ok to be gay.” 

“Are you gay??” 

“No!! I mean- I don't know!! I- No! Never mind! No! Final answer is no!” 

“...” 

“...” 

That’s when Sean noticed...Esteban had passed the turn onto Stephen and Clair’s house. 

“...you missed the turn.” 

“We aren’t done talking…” 

“Oh that is NOT fair!! I physically can not leave this conversation!!” 

“Because this is important!!” 

“It's not!! Nothing happened!! Nothing IS happening!!” 

That's when Esteban slammed a fist on the steering wheel and pulled his eyes off the road to look at sean. 

“I want to know my son!!” 

The car swerved, Esteban instantly pulled the car back into control, and pulled off the side of the road. 

“...” 

Esteban sighed and put his forehead against the steering wheel. 

‘...I want to know my son…” 

“....what do you mean? You DO know me…” 

“Not the way I want too…  
Look, I remember what it's like to be your age.  
You dont wanna talk, and I get that…  
But I don't want to be like my dad.” 

“...your dad?” 

“My dad didn’t know ANYTHING about me...and it ripped are family apart slowly…  
Do I need to know everything about you? No.  
But I do want to know the important stuff…  
This is important…  
You’re at an age where you are learning new things about yourself, and the world, and other people, and it can be scary and horrible...  
I want to be there for you…  
I want to be a good dad.  
I don't want you to pull away from me and feel like you can't come to me and that we can’t talk…  
I love you Hijo…  
Please…  
I want to know you…” 

“...” 

Esteban took in a deep breath, pulled himself back together and started the car back up, turning back onto the road and began to drive again. 

“...” 

“...” 

“...” 

“...” 

“...Dad?” 

“...Yeah?” 

“....I’m not gay…” 

“...” 

“But I don’t think I’m straight either…” 

“...” 

“It-...none of this was like-...planned…  
We just-....  
I-...I met him, and I automatically felt like me and him had a connection, and then I started getting-....confused…” 

“...”

“...s-...so...yeah…” 

Esteban scratched under his nose with his thumb.  
“....and I still love you, and just want you to be happy...and I hope you know its ok to be confused…” 

“I-...I know dad…” 

“...” 

“...” 

“.......I felt the same way when I met your mother…” 

“...What do you mean?” 

“That connection?  
Me and your mom had that…” 

“Jesus, please don’t ruin Finn for me by comparing him to Karen.” 

Esteban just laughed a little. 

“It may be hard for you to believe, but your mother isn’t actually as bad as she is in your head…” 

Sean just huffed. 

“...” 

“...” 

“...” 

“I met her on a Friday, and we went on our first date that Saturday.” 

“...” 

“I was new to the state….” Esteban began, reminiscing the past as he drove down the winding road.  
“New to America entirely…  
When I met her I was LEGITIMATELY fresh off the boat.  
A fishing boat. 

I had gotten a job on the docks on the edge of Oregon. Good money for hard work, and I was willing to do anything I needed to get a job. Didn’t matter what job, I just needed to get a job that paid and didn't ask many questions about me.  
I wasn’t exactly legal at the time...so... 

It had been only a month and a half that I had been in America. I had crossed the border from Mexico into Arizona, then up into california, and from there I moved where work could be found, and I found myself in Oregon. The big plan was I would stay on the West coast till I could get enough money to hop on a bus, and get to New York. In New York, I had friends who I was going to stay with, and back when I was 19, You could take a bus from the west coast to the east coast for about 50 dollars. I was going to save up as much money as possible for the trip and all my expenses and things like that till the end of the month, and then I would go to New York. 

It was a Friday, and I had been in the little town of Beaver Creek. I had been making a delivery from the docks there to give the store my people worked for their supply of fresh fish. 

As i had just been finishing up some work, I found myself getting hungry.  
I had finished a little early and I had some time to kill. I decided to treat myself to a good lunch...if i could find somewhere good in the area. 

As I walked down the street, looking for somewhere to eat, I saw her… 

Your mother…

She sat outside of a little coffee shop, scribbling poetry on a napkin as she drank her warm tea. 

She was beautiful.  
Actually-...beautiful was an understatement.  
She was-...  
She was like-...  
I can't even describe it. 

I decided to be brave! 

I walked over. 

In broken English, I asked her if she might no where a good place to eat was. 

She looked up at me and-...  
And that was it…

We locked eyes and my heart said ‘yes, she’s the one.’  
We made small talk, and shear first was a bit rude and hard to get too. She didn't seem to be in the mood to talk...but I didn't want to give up. 

She actually had told me she was not in the mood, and told me to ‘fuck right off’  
To which I replied sarcastically ‘Gee, whoever gets stuck with you is one lucky man.’ 

….That got her to laugh. 

The longer we talked, we began to joke and she-... softened up to me. 

She kind of switched...and she was so patient with me…  
Not many people were willing to be patient with me…  
Not many people showed me such kindness. 

I cant even remember what we began to talk about but...I sat down across from her at the little table, and...we just got lost in conversation…  
She was one of the most intelligent women I had, or have, ever met in my life. 

She helped me practice my English. She let me have a sip of her coffee. 

When I had to leave as my boss was paging me, I-...As I was about to leave, she took my hand in her soft sweet touch, and she gave me her number. She had written it on the back of her napkin, that held her poetry she was no longer working on.

She clarified that she NEVER does stuff like this...But she had fun with our conversation...and she doesn’t have many people in her life that approved and whole heartedly, genuinely believed in her and her dream of becoming a poet, and living a free life from the dramas of the world, and I rushed off with the number, stuttering like a fool that it was a pleasure...and for the rest of the day I could NOT get her out of my head…

She reminded me of-....  
Of a robin. 

She was a lovely, and free, and courageous, and brave, and resilient, yet so soft and sweet and poetic…  
A free soul if I had ever I had seen one…  
Someone who could not be tied down…  
And-...and I knew that going in...but I didn't care…  
It didn't matter…

I figured, if she was like a little bird, a fleeting wonderful feathered angel that would stay for only a while before flying away...I would still consider her my wonder, and something that I could always look back on as someone who changed my life for the better…  
I-...Im not sure if you have ever felt that...but when you meet someone you know who is going to change your life...for better or worse...you can just sense it…  
But-...that's not the point. 

I didn't have a phone, but I found a pay phone that night to call her on…  
And we did not hang up till 4 in the morning...and the only reason we let one another go, was because I had to start work. 

I asked her on a date that night and the next day we met up….  
At that same little coffee shop.

After that day, my plans completely changed.  
I found shelter, kept up with my job, and decided to stay close to beaver creek. 

Karen helped me discover who I am, and what I really wanted out of life...and slowly we fell in love…” 

“...and then she left.” 

“...well...it turned out that what I wanted out of life and what she wanted out of life were different. I wanted a family and to pursue a career with cars...and she-....went along with it for as long as she could before ...realizing she was just miserable and that it wasn’t going to get better.  
She truly was a robin…  
And I think that we both believed that this robin would have been happier in a cage…  
But-...no matter what we did...the cage was never going to be big enough or good enough compared to freedom ...” 

“Oh yeah, poor Karen, stuck in a cage with her loving husband and her two young children who loved her unconditionally. Poor her.” Sean bit back, sarcastically. 

Esteban understood...Sean was not ready to forgive his mom...and maybe he never would be...and that was ok...for now.  
Esteban knew sean already had much on his plate. Adding his mom to the party was not gonna be any kind of help.

Sean scowled out the window…

“You know I hate talking about Karen...why did you tell me this story??” 

“....Because….  
Something about Beaver Creek...Helps people find that special someone who they connect with… no matter what preference…. We are a family of lovers.” Esteban laughed.

“...” 

“I also told you that because-...I know what it’s like…  
To have that connection…  
To meet that person…  
I’ve been in your shoes….  
You can talk to me about this stuff…” 

“...” 

“I know what it's like when your heart chooses someone…” 

“...” 

“.......buuut...Did your heart HAVE to pick the dirty white boy with dreadlocks and face tattoos??” 

That got sean to stifle a laugh. 

Esteban smiled a little at his laugh. 

Sean kept his eyes out his window. 

Setting sun filling the car with light. 

“...” 

“...”

“...” 

“I love you, Sean…and I will always love and accept you....no matter what....ok?” 

“I know, dad…

…

I love you too.”


	14. Heart breaker

The rest of the car ride was a little awkward. 

Esteban wouldn’t let them go home until Sean gave him some answers

Thankfully Sean was able to cut out the parts about sneaking out at midnight to go party on the back of a strangers kick-ass motorcycle while still getting the story mostly out to his dad. 

They had a very long and meaningful talk before Esteban drove them home ...but as they both were about to get out of the car, Esteban took his son by the wrist. 

“....Sean I need to be honest with you.” 

Sean gave his father a very confused look. 

“....I don’t trust Finn…” 

“What?? Why??”  
Sean could take a stab in the dark as to what it could be, but he wasn’t going to give his dad more reasons not to like him if it wasn’t the reason he was thinking of. 

“....He reminds me too much of your mother.” 

Sean looked disgusted. 

“Finn is NOTHING like Karen!!” Sean barked. 

“You told me his stories ...being on the run? No stable home? Wanting to keep moving and exploring? It's not too horrible on paper, but think about this sean…  
I made the mistake of falling in love with a woman who never wanted to settle down. And never wanted to stop moving. But by some miracle in my mind I got her to slow down and stay…  
But she was miserable…  
She was a bird. A robin…  
She never wanted to stay…  
I made that mistake, that lead to a heart break I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy ...and especially not on my own son.  
He may seem different, but a person like that is never going to want to stop…  
You know?  
I just don't want you to get hurt when this little bird decides to fly away…”

Sean jerked his arm out of his dads grip. 

“Finn is NOTHING like Karen.” Sean repeated. 

“You’re only saying that because attraction is blinding you.  
Sean, you’ve only known him for so long...it’s not too late to let him go, and forget about it…It’s not too late to cut it off before it even starts.”

“This is-....no. Just no.” Sean said as he tried to get out of the car before his dad grabbed him again. 

“It’s ok to like boys hijo...but maybe-...just not THAT boy…  
Boys like him are heartbreakers…  
People like him are heartbreakers…” 

Sean ripped away from him again.  
“You don't even KNOW finn!! You’ve talked to him ONCE!!” 

“And you’ve only known him a full 2 days.” 

Sean groaned in frustration, got out of the car, and slammed the car door, going into the house of his grandparents. 

Esteban sighed as he watched him go. 

“....Young love ...It truly can't be stopped…” 

Esteban followed Sean inside. 

Inside the house smelt of sugar cookies and gingerbread. 

Clair and Chris and Daniel were in the kitchen together, frosting christmas cookies together, joyfully. Stephen sat at the counter and watched, playfully bickering with his wife from his wheelchair. Clair was the first to greet both men, followed by both little boys, and Stephen.  
On the counter was a gingerbread house, with two little gingerbread people that were vaguely frosted to look like Captain Spirit and Super Wolf. 

Esteban smiled at the sight. 

Chris cheerfully called out to both of them.  
“Guys!! Look look!! Me and Daniel made a gingerbread Captain Spirit and Super Wolf super secret hero hideout!!”  
Both boys were shining with pride at their messy creation.  
This got a laugh from the adults, not including Sean, who was kind of lost right now. 

“And grandma helped us make sugar cookies from scratch!! Grandma has SO many cool cookie cutters!! We made reindeers and sleighs and snowflakes and elf’s and dinosaurs!!” Daniel exclaimed. 

“Dinosaurs?” Esteban questioned. 

“Yeah!” Daniel said, giving his dad a look like it was weird his dad thought dinosaurs didn't belong. Almost saying though his look ‘what? You’ve never heard a christmas dino, weirdo??’

“Oh!! Daniel look!!” Chris said, repeating the word ‘look’ this daniel turned his head to look at what chris was so excitedly trying to show him.  
He had put a dinosaur by the gingerbread house.  
“Dinosaur patrol squad!! So if anyone ever tries to attack us, our dinos will just eat them!!” 

Daniel laughed.  
“Yes!!! Chris, you have such amazing ideas…!!” Daniel responded in such a loving manner that was a little odd for a 9 year old to use, but no one seemed to notice or comment on its strangeness...but Sean did.  
Chris smiled wide, eyes squeezing shut with pride, freckles highlighted by a warm rosy blush that engulfed his cheeks.  
Daniels smile dropped, eyes widening a little, a warmth covering his face as well.  
Sean didn't say anything. Instead, he chose to walk away…  
He snuck off to his room in this house to be alone to think a while...

The giggling of two children, yet to understand what they were experiencing, warmed the house and those around them. 

Sean went to his room, slowly and quietly shutting the door as to not make noise and attract attention to himself.  
Once the door was shut, he began to feel cold…

Sean had so much to think about, and his thoughts raced wildly. Once alone to contemplate, he felt as if he couldn’t breath. His mind was going 100 miles a minute while his body was working at like 2 miles and hour.  
Sean pressed his back against the closed door. 

What is Finn was gonna be the next Karen?  
Would such a sweet man really rip his heart to shreds like his own mother did??  
There’s no way!!  
But-....Sean has been unpleasantly surprised before, far to many times. 

What made Finn different??  
What honestly made Finn any better or worse than anyone else who has broken his heart in the past. 

Who was sean kidding? Love was not an option. This feeling was not love. This was just violent hormonal insanity created by puberty to make him hurt.  
He felt like he was going to cry. 

He fell to the floor, knees to his chest, sliding down the door to meet the ground. 

Sean began to feel his tears well up in his eyes with pain.  
Pain that stung him from the inside.  
He refused to let his tears spill. 

That’s when sean heard the little ping from his phone. 

…

Sean hesitantly took his phone and checked to see what it was. 

Finn had texted. 

…

Sean opened his phone and took a look. 

It was a picture of Finn, cuddling mushroom to his chest, winking at the camera with a silly smile that showed off his missing tooth.  
‘Hey sweetie~  
Guess who adopted off all the pups today!! Except for this gal, she’s still ready to go home with you guys when you're ready” 

Sean was kind of confused.  
This was just-...a normal text?  
Finn wasn’t gonna bring up the video? He wasn’t gonna talk about the kiss on the cheek he left on Sean? Finn wasn’t gonna mention anything about the drama with his dad??

...Sean texted back, impulsively texting through tears. 

“Are you going to break my heart?” 

After hitting send Sean INSTANTLY felt like a rock had been taken to his chest.  
He tried to look for a way to delete the text but Finn had already seen it, and was already texting back. 

“Break your heart? Why would I do that??” 

Sean instantly typed back. 

“Sorry, that was for someone else forget what i said, ill talk to you later, bye” 

It wasn’t long after that that Sean's phone began to ring. Finn was calling him. 

He hung up on finn. 

Finn called back. 

Sean hung up on him. 

This continued for another 8 times before Sean knew Finn was NOT going to give up on this till he picked up. 

Sean took a deep breath and answered the phone.  
He didn't say anything.  
He was going too!! He knew what to say and how to say it, he just-....couldn’t get the words to come from his throat. 

Finn spoke. 

His voice was gentle, and soft. 

“Hey ...are you alright?” 

Tears began to stream down his face, down his cheeks, cultivating at his chin. 

Finn sighed over the phone, he could hear Sean’s shaky breathing as he tried to force himself to speak through tears. 

“.....Sean, I know you're there...I know your crying...I dont know whats going on but...you can talk to me…  
What’s this whole thing about me breaking your heart?” 

Sean just let out a shaky, quiet sob. 

Finn knew what was going on.  
He knows what it's like to be scared, and to cry till you cant breath, and you can't think, and you can't speak, so all you can do is cry.  
He decided first to calm Sean down before they talked this out.  
Finn decided he would tell Sean a story, or talk about his day, or do anything and just have a normal little conversation that didn’t revolve around anything Finn could possibly see as problematic. 

Sean didn't understand what was going on as Finn began to speak through the phone, in his genial drawling voice…  
But what he did know, is that Finn’s words cut through his thoughts like a hot knife through butter.  
Finn’s voice, although so soft, began to grow louder that the little voices of anxiety and depression in Sean’s head. The voices slowly began to fade as Finn’s calming tone fraught them away. 

Finn just began to talk. He didn't say anything, he just talked. 

Yes he did tell stories and said real words, but none of them mattered. Nothing mattered.  
It didn't matter what Finn said, Sean just silently begged he wouldn’t stop. Finn and his warm voice was the only thing keeping him from freezing over. 

Finn was warm.  
Sean was so cold.  
Finn was Seans only source of light tonight when his mind made everything so dark. 

When sean could finally breathe and think normally he said one thing….

“Finn…” 

Finn stopped. 

“....Yeah, Sweetie?” 

“...you won't break my heart...will you?” 

“Sean, never in a million years would I intentionally break your wonderful little heart.  
Is that what all these tears are for? You scared I’m gonna hurt you, sweetie?” 

“...what am I to you?” 

“What??” 

“You feel it too don't you…?” 

“....I know what I feel...I don't know how you feel though…” 

“...” 

“I feel like we have a connection...a strong one…” 

“What kind of connection?” 

“Whatever kind you're willing to have with me…” 

“....Finn ...What am I to you?” 

“....I’m confused.” 

“Me too….” Sean mumbled before speaking again.  
“...Am I just another story to be?” 

“...what do you mean??” 

“When I leave Beaver Creek in 10 days, what will I be to you?? Will I be your friend? Something more? Or am I just gonna be a memory to tell the next boy like me you meet on your adventures…?” 

“...Where is all THIS coming form?” Finn sounded confused. 

“Tell me.” 

“....Sean, I told you once before, and I’m gonna say it again, I haven’t ever met someone like you before.” 

“Bullshit. I’m not special. You’ve told me before about just some of the guys and girls you’ve met and banged and left behind...So what am I to you?? Is this a game? When I’m gone are you just gonna forget me…? When I’m gone are you gonna just move on to the next boy who is remotely interested in you??” 

“Sean....we-....we’ve never even-....I mean I figured you were into me after that video but- I-.....Sean, I NEVER forget the people I’ve met and left behind.” 

“But you admit you're gonna leave me behind??” 

“Sean, I’m really confused...are you asking to come with me and the guys to travel??” 

“No!! I just-!! I don't know…I don't know anymore…!! You make me so confused…” 

“Confused? About what??” 

“Everything!! You make me confused about EVERYTHING!! Before I met you I didn’t-...I didn’t realize the things you’ve made me realize about myself…” 

“What do you mean?” 

“....You make me think ...more than other people do or should...I’m starting to know things about myself I really didn't know...You came into my life and I feel like everything I knew is being thrown out the window and put upside down, you know??” 

“Sean—“ 

“Just-....I wanna know...what is it about me??” 

“....I don't get what your asking now…” 

“Why am I so special to you...am I just a small town fling? Am I just another story? Another mark on your scoreboard? If I choose to get closer to you, what are we gonna be? What is it??” 

“....” 

“Well…?” 

“....” 

“Are you gonna break my heart…?” 

“....Sean-....” 

“Well??” 

“I don't know.” 

“What?” 

“You dont think I’m confused too??  
I get attached...to a lot of people ...and I’ve been-...with a lot of people...but there is something about you that-...I don't-...” Finn sighed.  
“Goodbyes are hard…  
But I’ve been thinking about our goodbye that eventually IS gonna come...and-....I-....I don't want to say goodbye…  
Yeah, I know, no one LIKES saying goodbye but-....  
I feel something new when I’m with you…  
Maybe you think you aren’t special, but to me, you’re special. To me, I think you might be a once in a lifetime experience...we have made a connection that I think only happens once in a lifetime…  
I don’t want to say goodbye, Sean…  
I don’t know what to do about all of this…  
I don't have all the answers, and I usually do! But this time I don't…  
I dont know whats gonna happen next…  
But I want to explore you...I want to explore us ...and I don't think I want distance to separate us…  
I want to know you Sean ...I really really do…  
And I know you can't come with me...and I don't want you to come with me...this kind of life I live is not good enough for you….  
You have a future…  
And a family…  
And other people who love you…  
...I want to be one of those people who loves you...if you’ll let me fall in love with you...because for once I feel like I CAN fall in love with someone ...and like I don't want this feeling you give me to end of ever break…  
I don't want you to be another story from the past...  
You-...You make me feel so warm…  
I know, and you know we can't really be together ...But I’d like to try and be together ...if you want…  
I know we don’t-....we haven’t known each other long but I don't wanna lose you...I don't want to lose this connection ...if that makes sense…  
I don't want to break your heart, sweetie…  
I really don't…  
And I don't know what we are…  
But I would like to find out…”

“...” 

“...” 

“...” 

“Sean?”

“...” 

“...are you there?” 

“....Yeah-....Yeah I’m still here….” 

“....so….?” 

“...come to my house tonight...come pick me up after everyone goes to bed ...Prove to me tonight that we are both feeling something real…  
I wanna figure all of this out ...I wanna stop being confused…” 

“...” 

“...Finn?” 

“I’ll be there.”


	15. The kiss

There he was...

That night, Finn was there. Within a minute of Sean’s text, he was there. 

Sean had called him over at about 2 in the morning, once everyone really was asleep. Finn waited outside the house while Sean threw on Finn’s coat, and snuck out through the window, leaving a sleeping Daniel to have the bed to himself. This time, he was able to land on his feet far more gracefully. 

Sean crossed the road, this time with confidence. He found Finn on his motorcycle, waiting patiently. Without any questions, he jumped on the back of the red hot rod and squeezed Finns back to his chest. This way he was surrounded in the warming smell and aura of Finn. 

“Get me out of here.” Sean mumbled in the back of Finns shoulder. 

Finn laughed a little. 

“Wanna tell me where we are going??” 

“Anywhere. Take me literally anywhere we can be alone together...ok?” 

Finn started back up his bike. 

“On it.” 

With that, Finn pulled away from his spot on the road and drove away. 

He brought Finn back to the tracks, back to the box car. 

This time, upon their arrival, no one was there. There was no fire. No people. It was quiet, and dark.  
Everyone was asleep in their tents. 

Finn brought Sean into his little green tent and turned on the little camping light he had in there. 

Sean was around himself as he sat on the blue sleeping bag that took up most of the floor of the tent.  
He saw inside a picture taped to the wall of the green nylon. It was a picture of three boys and a younger finn.  
In the corner of the tent there was a large box of condoms and a bottle of lube. That sight made Sean flush red.  
Across from the sex items, he found a large jar of weed, next to a grinder, a pack of rolling papers, and an ash tray, filled to the brim.  
There was an old pizza box by the end of the tent, and next to it, there was a stack of books, topped with a pair of well worn reading glasses. 

Sean laughed a little.  
“....nice place.” He said quietly. 

Finn laughed a little as he plugged his phone into a little portable charger. 

“Thanks…” Finn responded. 

“....I didn't know you wore glasses.” 

He didn’t know a lot of things about Finn... 

“Oh yeah” Finn laughed. “Just for reading and junk like that…” 

Sean gently reached over and picked up Finns glasses.  
He thought for a moment as he looked at them in his hands, before leaning over and putting it on Finn's face. 

God he was handsome…

Finn laughed a little.  
“Like ‘em?” 

Sean nodded. 

Finn laughed a little more and kept his glasses on as he searched for a large hair tie that was by his pillow in the sleeping bag. He began to pull his dreads back into a loose ponytail as he spoke. 

“....so...what's all this about ...?” 

“....I think my answer is going to depend on the last time you used to condoms….” Sean mumbled a little, not looking at him, focusing on Finns pile of books. 

Finn frowned. 

“....I haven’t used them in like a month.....the last time I used them I already told you about....I told you me and Hanna had kind of been fuck buddies…” 

“....what…?! When!?!” 

Finn gently shushed him to keep him a little quieter. 

“I told you that night at the fire…  
She had asked me if I wanted to go to bed with her before she would actually go to bed. I told her I wasn’t up for it, and she dropped it and decided to stay a little longer at the fire.  
Me and her haven’t slept together in close to a month, and nothing with her was ever anything serious...just sex.” 

Sean scowled at the ground.  
“Believe it or not, I can't remember much of that night….I was pretty high….” 

Finn sighed. 

“Sean ...you need to understand, I turned her down because I wanted to stay with you…and you were fine with me having been with her before when you were high.” 

“Yeah? Well I’m not high now…” Sean crossed his arms. 

Silence grew louder in the tent before Finn put a soft hand on Sean’s knee.  
Sean looked up at him. 

“....Just because I’m experienced doesn’t mean I can’t be faithful, if that's what you want….” 

Sean looked away again. He wasn’t sure what he wanted...

“Hanna and you have known each other far longer than you have known me. Hanna and you have been sleeping together and we never even kissed or anything. I’m a stranger from a nowhere town. You travel the world with her by your side. I can't offer what she can.” 

“-But I don't want what she can give me, I want you…!” 

“And what could I possibly give you?!” 

Finn hushed him again. 

Sean’s frown deepened. 

Finn sighed again as he rubbed his face with one hand. 

“....what could I possibly give you thats so much better than her? Better than all the other women and men you're gonna meet…?” 

Finn laid a hand gently on his knee again.  
“....I’ve never met someone that had this strong of a connection with me….I just-....” He laughed a little “I just-....want you more than I want her ...It's kind of just as simple as that…” 

Sean sighed a little. He placed a hand on Finn’s. 

“....I-....I think I feel the same….” 

Sean looked back up at Finn from the floor and tried to lock eyes.  
Finn let their eyes connect. 

“.....then-....what are you afraid of?” 

“....n-....nothing….” 

Before Sean could even think, his lips locked with this strange boy from the Christmas Market. 

He let his hand wonder up and over to Finn’s knee….  
Then let his hand wonder down to the inside of Finn’s thigh.  
Finn let his hands wander a little too. He squeezed Sean’s thigh back before going to pull away.  
When Finn tried to pull away, Sean chased his lips back, and moved his other hand around Finns neck.  
Finn moved in closer rather than farther away. 

Is this really something Sean wanted?? 

He was giving up his first kiss to ...to Finn ...! 

And sean wasn’t sure he wanted to just stop at a kiss….


	16. Piercings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry if this chapter isn’t that great...its my first time writing smut so i hope its ok lol   
> Enjoy~

17...  
He had 17.

Sean wasn’t sure what he had expected.

Finn was far paler skin that Sean expected. 

Finn had far more hidden freckles across his chest and shoulders and hips than Sean expected. 

Finn had more ...piercings than sean expected. 

He had 17 body piercings. 

Sean had discovered the first two when he had found his hands gently climbing up Finns shirt, in the dim light of the camping lantern. 

Finn was seated in Sean’s lap, lips locked together in warm passion. 

Finn’s arms wrapped around his shoulders. Feeling up a skinny stomach, reaching a bony chest, as Sean began to remove Finn’s light brown t-shirt, he felt cold metal brush one of his knuckles. 

Sean pulled away gently to give a questioning look towards Finn’s body. Finn laughed a little and removed his shirt fully to expose two silver bars running through both nipples. 

Sean’s face heated up hotter than the air within the tent, that had grown warm and sticky with sweaty, hormonal, raging passion that one can only experience late in the dead of night. 

Finn saw this look of pleasured surprise and morbid curiosity and decided to guide and encourage sean to not just touch, but to find and touch the other ones on his body.

17.  
Finn told him how many Sean could find on his body that he has yet to discover. 

Sean kind of took this as a change posed to him, as Finns tone dared him to do so, vaguely taunting him, assuming he couldn’t do it, even it it was just as easy as touching and feeling around. 

He started by touching Finn’s nipple piercings.   
Sean started to mess with the piercings, teasing and testing what he could do to Finn through these small actions. Experimenting just how good he could make Finn feel just through the simple action of playing with the metal of his piercing.

Sean made Finn squirm a little under his touch as he pulled and pressed the little bars in different ways. 

Finn was not shy at all. If it felt good? Finn was not afraid to make noise, or move into the touch of his lover. 

Sean found the next 4 piercings on Finn’s hips. 4 little silver balls on each hip, just barely peeking out from beneath the worn out waistband of dark green boxers. 

Peeling the boxers and jeans downward, but not completely off the body of Finn, Sean found 2 bars, similar to the ones through Finn’s nipples. On each hip, lining the ‘V’ figure that dipped below his shorts, were piercings that made a diamond along Finns hips. 

Sean at first wondered what the purpose of these were, since it didn't seem like it served the same purpose as the bars above, and they weren’t for looks, since they were covered up almost completely when wearing pants ...but upon the first squeeze at his hips, Finn let out a pleasured sigh, and Sean knew he was wrong to assume they weren’t going to bring the same result as the ones on Finn’s chest. 

Sean was beginning to grow more than fond of the sweet sighs and groans coming from the skinny boy in his lap. 

That was only 6...Finn had 11 more?? 

Sean felt his dick twitch in his pants at the idea of where the other piercings could be. He didn't think he would be so turned on by something like metal...but he was. Something about it was just so...kinky? That’s the only word Sean could call this. 

As he was about to pull off Finns pants, Sean was stopped by Finn’s soft touch.   
It ‘wasn’t fair’ if Finn was gonna be naked for Sean to still be half clothed. 

Sean laughed a little. Guess it makes sense, but Sean felt shy…a little scared to be seen for the first time though lustful eyes. 

Finn slowly climbed out of Sean's lap. They could both see through one another pants that it was a mutual attraction flowing between them. Both men were harder than stone for the other. 

Finn gave a small laugh at how Sean couldn’t pull his eyes from the erection of his lover before him. 

“You first sweetie~” 

“What?? No you! I don't wanna go first…” 

“Why not? Shy~” 

“....well...I mean ...yeah kinda...this is my first time doing something like this…” 

Finn's eyes widened a little. 

“Really…?” 

“...” Sean looked away shyly “Well yeah…” 

“.....are you really ok giving someone like me your virginity….?” 

“No…  
Because there isn't anyone like you…  
You’re one of a kind…  
And if I had to give it up to anyone, I want it to be someone who I have such a strong connection with...you know??” 

“...I can get that…” Finn said after mulling it over. He silently prayed to a god he doesn’t believe in, that this would not be a regrettable night for Sean, and that he could be everything Sean hoped for since he has never taken someone’s virginity before…

Finn decided to be brave. He stripped first.   
He got naked and sat back on the end of the blue sleeping bag and let Sean look him over. 

Seans eyes widened. 

Sean just found another 10…

“H-....holy shit.” Sean couldn’t help but say. He was baffled. 

Finn laughed a little.   
“I know ...It can be a little intimidating…” 

“W-why would you do that to yourself?? Didn’t those hurt!? And you did it 10 times?!” 

Finn laughed a little harder. 

“Yeah they hurt...hurt like HELL ...so call me a masochist, but...they are all healed up now...and trust me? It makes the pleasure for me, and the people I fuck, better than you could believe~ They are called pleasure peircings for a reason.  
They bring the pleasure of sex from like a 7 out of 10, to like a 46 out of 10.” 

That got a little laugh out of Sean. He couldn’t look away from Finns erect shaft before him. 

Finn saw this and decided to give him a little lesson.   
He played a little with each piercing as he went along.   
“These 4 right under here are called Jacob's ladder, and the 3 on top are a Reverse Jacob's ladder.”   
Finn gently touched the four bars going up the underside of the shaft. Stoking the two bars that pierced the top of his shaft with his thumb.   
“Then up here-“ He pointed to another bar where the tip of his dick met his shaft “is called a frenum piercing.” He pulled the little at the bar and let out a small shaky gasp.   
Nimble fingers travel down. He had a piercing where the end of his shaft met balls, “And this one is called a lorum piercing.”   
The last piercing he had neglected was a silver hoop that went through the tip. He used his other hand to gently pull the loop. “This one’s a Prince Albert. This one’s my f-favorite.” He moaned out quietly. 

Sean was basically drooling as he watched Finn pleasure himself though the pulling of his piercings. 

Finn laughed a little and through lidded eyes, beckoned Sean closer. 

Sean moved closer. 

“Hey, hey, hey~ not so fast….”   
Finn took his hands off himself and used both hands to now prop himself up.  
“Get your pants off too~” 

Sean pulled back a little, nodded shyly and started stripping his last two articles of clothing. As he was stripping, he had a thought pass through his mind…. 

“H-...hey ...I only found 16…” 

Finn looked up at him from where he was staring.   
“Hmm?” 

“You told me you have 17 peircings...I only found 16….”   
Instinctively now that his clothes were off, Sean used both hands to cover himself. 

Finn laughed a little at his shyness. 

“You wanna know where the 17th is?” 

“Well...yeah…” 

Finn took Sean’s hands and pulled them away slowly, completely uncovering Sean to be seen. 

Finn examined his completely uncovered body and smiled widely. 

“You reeeeeally wanna know where it is?” He didn't take his eyes off Sean’s cock. 

“Y-...yeah?” Sean laughed a little. 

That’s when finn looked up at him with teasing eyes, and poked his tongue from his mouth. 

Another small silver ball sat in the middle of Finn’s tongue. 

A tongue ring. 

Sean didn't know what to say, and before he could think of something, Finn had leaned in and used his skilled tongue to lick along the soft dip of Sean’s collarbone, teasing it with the metal ball. 

Sean shivered a little.   
It felt good.   
He wanted to see just where that tongue would go if he let it. 

Up and along his neck, Finn’s tongue dragged and traveled. Pressing and licking and sucking along different areas of flesh, looking for the most sensitive spot to attack and leave a mark. 

Sean was too dazed from the pleasure Finn was bringing him, and the warmth of Finn’s body draped over him, to remind Finn not to leave a hickey.   
So...that's what Finn did. He bit a deep, dark, large hickey right on his neck. 

Sean didn't stop him. In fact he tilted his head to the side, giving Finn better access to the sensitive flesh Finn wanted to mark.   
He would regret that later when he dad would find it...but for now, all that mattered was the pleasure that was slowly driving him mad, not the consequences that could possibly come. 

Once done with his neck, Finn trailed his tongue up to Sean’s strong jaw, before going back down from there, and down to his chest. 

Sean sometimes wished he could grow chest and facial hair already, but Finn was living for the soft skin that he caressed now. 

Finn pressed his pierced tongue all along Seans body seualy. He made stops at Seans nipples, working his was down to his stomach, down to his hips, and slowly along the V line that lead to Sean’s increasingly painful length that dripped precum. 

When noticing the pre-cum Finn laughed a little. Virgins rarely do last long. 

Tender hands caressed along toned brown thighs. Seans legs were so muscular and beautiful. Finn knew how he wanted to die now. He wants to die by suffocation, from Sean strangling him with his beautiful thighs. 

Sean took notice of his love for the thighs now exposed to him, and would make sure to remember to bring it up later. 

Just before Finn was about to teasingly lick where Sean desperately needed for his relief, Finn pulled away. 

Sean whined. 

Finn laughed a little and teasingly ran gentle fingers along Sean’s stiffness. 

“How do you want to do this?” 

“...what do you mean?” Sean questioned though heavy pants. 

“Do you want to top or bottom??” 

“I-....I didn't really think about it...I-...I guess I’m ok trying anything….you know?? I've never really thought about all this with a boy...or haven’t thought much about it…” He was rambling a little. 

Finn shushed him with a kiss. Sean instantly found himself more calm. 

Slowly pulling back after a sweet loving kiss, Finn spoke. 

“....do you wanna be top or bottom baby?” 

“...b-....bottom…” Sean said without thinking. He has never had anything inside himself...but if he knew nothing else, he knew right now he wanted to feel those piercings rub and press and push up against every spot inside him till he was screaming. 

Finn nodded and reached for the box of condoms, pulling out a single shining package from the Trojan box by the edge of the tent. 

“Have you ever...you know...had anything up there?” 

Sean looked away and scowled at the tents wall. He was embarrassed to be asked. He simply shook his head no. 

“Oh don't be like that sweetie...don't be shy...I’m just wanted to know if I should grab the lube.” Finn teased as he grabbed the bottle that stood behind the box. 

Squeezing a generous amount out onto this fingers, Finn slicked up his fingers, and moved to start on Sean. 

Finn laughed a little and used his non-lubed up hand to spread Sean’s knees apart.   
Sean kept his embarrassed looks to himself as his shaking legs were pushed to the side for Finn. 

Sean laid back and used both hands to nervously grip the blue fabric beneath him. Finn made sure to keep his eyes on Sean to make sure there was no pain of discomfort as he began to wet Sean’s entrance. 

Finn kind of liked Sean when he was all shy and small. It was a big contrast from his moody teen act. 

Slowly once he was slicked up enough, he began to move the tip of his finger into Sean, stopping the second he heard the surprised and slightly pained yelp. 

“Are you ok??” Flew from Finns mouth quickly. 

Sean nodded. 

“We can stop if you want, I dont wanna push you, i get it if its to mu-“ 

Sean cut Finn off from his nervous rambling. 

“I-...I was just caught off guard ...I was surprised and already it feels-....weird…” 

Finn nodded. That’s fair. 

“...but I don't wanna stop...I-...I want to try having you in me…so dont stop…” Sean nervously mumbled. 

Finn nodded.   
“I promise I’ll take care of you…” 

“I know...I trust you...p-please keep going…” He whined out. 

Finn smiled a little and slowly started pushing his finger back in. 

When Sean started making uncomfortable faces, Finn stopped and asked if he was ok. The answer was always yes, he just needed a minute. It burned a little as he felt himself accommodating the skinny, skilled fingers of Finn...but once he got used to it, he did admit it began to feel good. 

Before long, Sean was rocking his hips roughly into Finns fingers, begging for something more with his actions, as his mouth was too busy moaning to ask with actual words. 

Finns fingers expertly had found his sweet spot inside Sean, and began to hit it every time as his fingers moved in and out of the boy before him, turned to a moaning mess. 

Once he was ready, Finn lined himself with Sean, and slowly began to push in, making Sean scream for him. 

With every inch, Sean felt like Finn’s piercings found some way to hit and rub perfectly against his inner walls that head him melting beneath the man giving him such pleasure.

It wouldn’t be very long till Finn was pounding into Sean passionately as Sean yelled for him in a Spanish tongue that Finn could not understand, but loved to hear. 

The night was just as long and thick as Finn….  
Sean lost his virginity that night….  
Over and over….  
All. Night. Long. 

No one on the box car slept.


	17. Black Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! Thank you so much for being patient for this next chapter. I’m sorry if this chapter seems a little shorter...  
> The next chapter as well might seem a little shorter, but thats because chapter 19 is going to be an extra long very emotional chapter that I am putting a lot more work into...  
> Chapter 17 and 18 are kind of just set ups to it all lol...  
> But either way  
> They both are gonna be at the very least are going to be a little over 1000 words. 
> 
> In other news I wanna give a shout out to Softoreos on both tumblr and ao3  
> They made an amazing edit/tribute of my fanfic and it makes me SO happy!! Please please go check them out on YouTube and tumblr. You can also go fallow me on tumblr, I draw sometimes, and I always update on there first when a new chapter comes out.  
> I am HorriblyObsessed-538 on tumblr. 
> 
> i also just want you guys to know i have ideas for more fanfics that will be coming out after this one finishes. I think this fic will be finished up somewhere around chapter 23? But I’m not making any promises, it might go a little longer...but either way we are nearing the end of this fic and i want you all to know that there will be new fins to come from me, I’m not going to be a “One Fic Pony” lol 
> 
> But either way, please keep in touch with me and i wanna say thank you all SO SO SO much for continuing to fallow along with my story, it means SO much to me. This is my first fic EVER so it is turning out better than I could have ever imagined. I had no idea i would get so popular or that people would like my story THIS much!! I am so so grateful, and especially I wanna thank Softoreos for going above and beyond as a fan! I adore their edits and you guys will to so please go check them out. 
> 
> Anyway  
> Here’s chapter 17  
> Enjoy~

The mornings after sex usually go one of two ways; 

Either its awkward and stiff and uncomfortable as both make an effort to get away from one another…  
Or…  
It’s the quiet sound of a sleeping man, and the rise and fall of a bare chest in the morning sun through the windows, or in the case, the green vinal of a tent. 

Sean had his head laying on said chest of his lover. Tracing a soft finger over messy letters that traced across the smooth chest of the skinny man, who had just changed Sean's life, forever. 

He felt lucky he had no reason to run from this…  
He felt lucky he a warm beating heart to comfortingly lull him back to sleep through the morning noise of the rest of the world waking up…

He felt warm….

…

Until he realized that buzzing wasn’t going to stop, and he’s gonna have to turn off his phone if he wants to get back to-....  
Oh shit…

Sean sat up quickly, grabbing his phone from its spot on the ground and bringing it to his sight. 

76 missed calls, 112 missed texts, all beginning from 8 A.M. to now, 11A.M.  
Esteban had been trying to contact his missing son for the past 3 hours. 

Sean instantly went into panic mode and the soreness of his body didn't matter as he threw his clothes on as quick as he could, in the process, waking Finn up. 

Finn's eyes lazily opened and a small smiled lead itself across his face. 

“Howdy, there, pretty boy. where are you goin?~” He wrapped an arm around Sean. 

Sean slapped his hand away. 

“I have to leave. Now.” Sean said, freaking out. 

Finn gave him a concerned look, He didn't understand, was last night really THAT bad??  
Then he saw the phone in Sean’s hand going off again.  
He saw the time. 

Sean had spent the night with him…

Maybe it was the fact Finn is used to one night stands, or the fact not even his long term fuck buddy Hanna ever stays to cuddle, but this simple fact that sean was in SO much trouble right now because he chose to stay….? Well it simply made him fawning over Sean even more….  
Which only made sean more stressed and angry because Finn was more focused on that, than he was about the trouble they were in. 

Maybe Finn just was misinformed. Maybe Finn was dumb enough not to realize that Esteban Diaz is not someone who plays around when it comes to family. Maybe Finn didn't know that Esteban was on the hunt for sean, and that means if they are caught together, Finn will never be able to walk again for making Sean limp. 

Basically, what Finn clearly didn't understand was ...this was serious!! And no time to fuck around when Esteban Diaz is looking for his son who snuck out in th middle of the night without telling anyone where he was going or who he was with to go have sex with a stranger in an abandoned box car out int he middle of basically no where. 

Sean had no time to explain this to him, so he just didn't, he rushed out of the tent as fast as he could and was greeted with the rest of the group-....who began to applaud him. This took sean by surprise and he stopped his frantic run home. 

Sean heard a laugh come from Finn as he emerged from the tent.  
He bowed to them all as their applause got louder. 

Sean gave them all a confused look and raised an eyebrow to Finn, choosing not to acknowledge Finn’s nakedness that he didn't bother to cover, for he had no shame. It all became clear though when Cassidy hollered “there’s the screamer of the hour!” 

They were applauding the sex they had overheard all last night. Sean covered his flushing face in embarrassment as he groaned. He didn't have time for this.  
He hopped out of the boxcar. 

“Hey! Where ya goin pretty boy??” Penny called with a laugh as Sean walked down the tracks. 

“Home!!” He yelled back. 

That’s when it struck Finn. He threw on some pants and ran down the tracks after Sean. 

“Sean wait!!” 

“I can't!! I have to go!!” Sean yelled as he began to run. The pain and ache he felt from his body was simultaneously embarrassing, yet fulfilling, and pleasurable but anger inducing. 

“Sean seriously! Come back I can give you a ride!!” Finn called out.  
Sean just kept going. He was already in deep enough shit, he didn't need to be seen on a motorcycle with the man he ran away with on said motorcycle to go have sex. 

Finn kept going after Sean, not wanting him to be alone, the tracks could be kind of dangerous and he didn't need Sean getting hurt while he already isn't in the best of conditions. 

Sean continually yelled at him to go away, but Finn just continued to run after him. Sean had a very good advantage over Finn though, as he was on track and field back home. 

Sean made it to the end of the tracks first, before Finn, basically leaving him in the dust, but he was not greeted with what he wished he was. 

...on the edge of the road, Esteban stood next to his parked truck.  
His face said it all. He was furious. Unconsciously Sean slapped his hand over the part of his neck he knew contained a hickey.  
Sean became slow and sluggish...he was no longer in a hurry to finish his run home…  
Esteban must have tracked his phone.  
He knew he should have turned off “Find My Phone”

Sean couldn’t avoid it as long as he wished. He eventually found himself standing in front of his dad…he refused to look at his father's face of fury and disapproval. 

“You are in deep shit. Get in the car.” 

Those were the only words he could muster. He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t process or handle all of this. No other words could come to mind of how angry he was. 

Sean just nodded...there was no covering this up or point in trying to lie. He had been out all night, and it sure wasn’t a helpful case when Finn finally caught up to Sean, finding him and his dad. 

What surprised both men, was Finn didn’t see both of them though, read the room on what was going on, and run away before he made things worse...instead he came closer and though panting breaths of exhaustion from running he spoke. 

“W-wait! This isn-isnt what it looks like I swear!” He tried. 

Sean covered his face in embarrassment. 

“Finn, dont-“ 

“No no, let him speak Sean.” Esteban played along. “Care to tell me what IS going on?” Esteban spoke through his teeth. 

“I-...I convinced Sean to do it, it wasn’t his idea, I pressured him into it…” 

“Finn, what are you-?” Sean asked in disbelief. 

“Please don't do anything bad to him, it was my fault and it was all because of me. Please don't be mad at Sean.” Finn continued to try and throw himself under the bus. 

“And care to tell me what you pressured him into all night??” Esteban said as he crossed his arms across his chest. He looked at the hickies left all over Finn. 

“......would you believe me if i said anything other than sex?” Finn laughed nervously. 

Wrong answer. 

Esteban took Sean and left. They screamed at one another in Spanish as they drove away, leaving behind Finn at the end of the tracks, with a black eye that came from Esteban himself. 

Swollen and dark, Esteban left a mark on Finn as revenge for all the marks Finn left on his son. 

To say the least? Sean would be under much closer surveillance from now on.


	18. Crash and Burn

Three days have passed and Sean hasn’t seen, heard from, or heard of Finn once.  
His father took away his phone and has been watching him very closely. 

That morning, when Sean and Esteban had made it home, Esteban decided to call the whole family together to lay down the rules of Seans punishment, and expose just why he was on such strict punishment. 

In the heat of the moment, Esteban was not thinking of how this would affect the family. His mind was still blazing with the very idea that that dirty, disgusting, tattooed, pierced, street rat touched his son, and the fact Sean LET him….or at least mostly. It surely didn't help that Esteban was under the impression his son was impressionable enough to be pressured into running away with such a man, even though the whole experience was in fact Sean’s idea for Finn to come pick him up!! 

Clair, Stephen, Daniel, Chris, and Charles gathered in the room. It didn't matter the Eriksons were here to Esteban, he did not yet understand what telling them would include. 

Sean would have tried to run from this conversation, but his father's tight grip on his arm didn't allow him the freedom to run. 

Sean avoided all the eyes of the people in the living room, as Esteban spilt the story. 

The only person who did manage to get eye contact with Sean was his younger brother Daniel.  
Daniel wore the same grin he always did when Sean’s as in trouble.  
The same smile he wore when he busts Sean smoking in the house.  
The same smile he wore when he would find dirty magazines in Sean's room while snooping.  
The same smile he wore when he catches Sean taking bad pictures he would send to some of his past girls. 

Daniels smile instantly dropped though when his eyes collided with his brothers. The fear, the anger, the sadness in Seans eyes screamed to Daniel just how serious this was, and how deep in shit Sean felt. 

Daniel instantly felt remorse, kind of upset with himself for plastering that shit-eating grin he always does when he plays angel while getting Sean in trouble. He didn’t know what Sean had done, but he did need to know honestly...no matter what, he was going to be on the side of his brother...because that's what brothers do. They stick by each other's side. 

“Well! I found Sean!! He snuck out last night with a boy last night behind all of our backs to go do god knows what!!” 

Clair was already horrified enough to understand why he was being punished now. But as usual, Stephen played devil's advocate. 

“L-look...I know that this is bad, but how bad could it REALLY be? We all did crazy things like this at 16...Sean is a good kid, he couldn’t have been causing TOO much trouble!” 

Esteban laughed.  
“And that is where you're wrong!! Sean isn’t friends with this boy!! But he IS in a relationship with this boy!” 

That invoked gasps of shock and horror. She went white in the face and looked as if she might faint. She had to sit on the couch to make sure she wouldn’t fall. 

Stephen spoke up again. 

“Are you sure-?? There is-...there’s no way! How do you KNOW-“ 

Esteban then pulled the collar of Sean’s shirt down enough to show off the deep purple hickey on his neck. 

No way to really argue with a mark like that. 

Charles looked at the two young boys who were int he room. 

“Boys, go.” 

Chris instantly looked to his dad in confusion.  
“But dad-“ 

“Now!!” Charles shouted, and in fear Chris ran, grabbing Daniel quickly and dragging him with him. 

“Wait, no I- Sean???” Daniel called as he was dragged away. 

Sean just kept his eyes on the floor. It was hard not to scowl when you knew/thought the whole room was against you…  
At least if this was an actual courtroom for him to be judged in, he would have his attorney on his side...But Diaz Family Court isn't that grand. 

“So you’re saying-“ Stephen began.  
Esteban nodded. “Yup!!” 

Clair looked as if she was going to cry.  
“I knew we should have woken him up to come with us to church...I knew- I knew there was something wrong with him…” 

Sean grinded his teeth as he held his tongue. Sean knew it would be pointless to try and defend himself. No matter what he said or how he said it, there was no way out. 

It was infuriating to watch your own father who you knew damn well was not a bigot, agree with the woman who assumed he was a ‘dirty homosexual’ 

Esteban laid down the rules of no tv, no electronics including even the house phone, no leaving the house without an adult, no shut doors other than the bathroom. 

The adults in the room agreed to these conditions and promised to enforce them when possible. 

It's been 3 days since that talk.  
Not even Christmas coming in just 2 days changed anything. 

Every day was the same for sean. He only spoke to his family when absolutely necessary. He couldn’t look any of them in the eyes. Almost everyone now knowing about his attractions to the same sex made things change. His whole family began to treat him VERY differently, even Chris treated Sean differently. 

Sean spent every day since then being talked down to by his grandmother, and patronized and treated like a freak. The family even seemed afraid to TOUCH sean, seeming to be scared they would catch the gay, or more accurately; the bisexual. 

People in the house treated Sean like a patient with a highly contagious with some kind of deadly virus.

Although Daniel still knew in his heart that there was nothing wrong with his brother per-say, Clair definitely was influencing him to treat Sean the way she did. He was trying more than the rest of them though to show remorse for his brother, knowing he was going through something he did not understand. 

Although Esteban did regret outing his son, his anger still clouded his mind and he couldn’t see past Sean going behind his back and disobeying his trust in such a huge way.  
Sure he didn’t treat Sean like he was diseased, he still wasn’t treating him how he had before the trip. All trust was lost. 

Now at this point, Sean didn't think it could get worse; being separated from finn, not getting to talk to Lyla, not being allowed out of the house without an adult, being under high surveillance, no longer getting to feed his nicotine addiction which made him even more miserable and easily agitated, being treated like a freak by his family and family friends…

But life wasn’t done using Sean as a punching bag yet. 

The night of the third day, Esteban took Sean aside from the family. Expecting to be yelled at or something he already began to tune his father out, before he heard Finns name. 

“What??” He questioned. 

“Finn called….and I answered your phone…  
I wasn’t going to tell you, but-...then he told me he was calling from the hospital…” 

Sean looked at him for the first time in a while. He looked horrified. 

“He is in the hospital…  
That death machine on wheels? Yeah. It crashed.  
He wasn't too horribly hurt...but he had a concussion, a broken arm, and some bad scrapes on his back…  
Apparently he was outrunning the cops on his motorcycle, while they were trying to pull him over for speeding, and he crashed on the train tracks while trying to get away.  
He won't be in the hospital long...but he is still hurt..  
I thought I should tell you.” 

Sean didn't say anything. He felt as if he was about to cry.  
Why is it whenever life seems to be getting better, everything comes crashing down. 

The worst part about it…? 

Esteban wasn’t going to allow him to go to the hospital. He was just updating his son on how he was.

This place now officially was Sean’s personal living hell.


	19. Silence

Christmas Eve day was quiet. 

Clair and Stephen were in the kitchen getting ready for Christmas Eve dinner. 

Esteban was on the couch, watching a christmas movie, with Daniel, who somberly played alone with toys that him and Chris had once played with together.   
Chris was home with his dad…

They originally had planned to have dinner with the Reynolds and the Diaz’s, but after Charles found out about Sean, he suddenly didn't seem comfortable with Chris being around the family, and suddenly felt he needed to step up as a dad and having a Christmas with just the two of them was gonna be good for them or something. 

Sean sat on the second couch, as far away from his father and brother as well. He pretended he was watching the cheerful, wondrous, colorful christmas story up on the TV. In reality he just used it as a slight distraction for what he really was doing. His face was blank and emotionless. His eyes were as lifeless as ones eyes could be while still pumping blood and pushing air. 

Sean hadn’t heard anything on Finn. He hadn’t been given any kind of update on his condition. 

He knew the very little his father had told him, and eventually showed him out of pity. 

Finn had crashed his motorcycle…  
Well...the motorcycle in his possession that he had stolen…

What happened was Finn had been taking a ride to go get something for his black eye. He had a splitting migraine and the pain in his eye was throbbing. He was gonna go get some painkillers to ease the suffering. 

Apparently a cop had spotted the license plate on the bike, saw the motorcycle had matched the description of the recently reported missing one, and he went after him. 

Finn, having allegedly done this several times before, decided instead of slowing down, he was going to speed up and try to outrun the cop. The high speed chase lasted only 20 minutes before Finn had veered the bike off of the road, and onto a path within the trees of the forest he thought he could weave through. The path had, luckily for the police officer, been JUST big enough for him to go after Finn. Finn had actually almost gotten away from the cop, but at the last second, just before the cop could lose Finn in the trees, Finn had gotten very unlucky. In the middle of the path, a deer stood, blinded by the headlights of the motorcycle. Finn didn't have time to think. He instinctively swerved and the bike flew straight into a tree. 

He broke his arm, three ribs, dislocated his shoulder, allegedly had huge wounds from the event on his left side and back, and had sprained ankle.

Honesty? It was MUCH better than Sean had expected. And it was MUCH better than death. 

Nothing Finn couldn’t recover from and overcome. If sean had to guess, Finn would be out of the hospital relatively quick; especially with how fast Finn would be racing to get out of there and away from the polices grasp. He had already had his friends use what money the had made from selling dogs to make his bail and pay his ticket...   
They had barely made the money up. 

The very idea of Finn laying in a hospital bed with such injuries haunted his mind and tormented imagination. 

Sean wondered when he would see Finn. 

...Part of him wondered if he would or if he wanted to see him at all…

But part of him didn’t get to wonder for long….

A knock at the door came, and Clair stopped her work in the kitchen to go answer the door to see who it was. 

Like a puppy, Daniel instantly shot up and ran after his grandmother to the door, ready to greet the new visitor. He was hopeful to find Chris possibly behind the door...but that was not who was there. 

Before Clair could even ask to the dirty boy on her steps was, Daniel said one word that sent chaos though the house. 

“Finn…?” 

Esteban instantly got up, planning on going and slamming the door in his face and keeping Sean from seeing him, but he was not as fast as his son. Esteban cursed himself for his ‘great’ idea to sign Sean up for track and field about 5 years ago. 

Sean jumped from his seat, over the couch, and pushed Daniel out of the way, Daniel whining in anger after him, to get out the door. 

But-....once he got out there Sean stopped. 

Finn stood there, casted arm, all beat up, looking like absolute hell...yet he still wore his goofy, dorky, happy sweet smile he always wore for sean...and Sean just stopped and looked him over. 

Everything fell still. 

Finn looked confused. He opened his arms to sean. 

“Merry Christmas, sweetie!” 

That’s when it happened…

All eyes on Sean. 

Clair. Stephen. Daniel. Esteban. 

No one moved. No one breathed. 

Suddenly Sean had his answer. 

How dare he. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“...what?” 

How dare Finn show up, looking like hell, like he just escaped a hospital when he KNEW Sean was going through hell in this place on his own. Yes it was great to see Finn was fine, but why here? Why did he have to show up? Why did it have to happen? Why now? Why today?? 

Did Finn ALWAYS have the worst timing??

“You show up here out of the blue after making me stressed and worry like crazy after getting into a STUPID easily avoidable serious crash after STEALING a MOTARCYCLE and you say “What??” What do you mean?! You’re so stupid!! How could you not know?!” 

Finn laughed.   
“I said ‘merry Christmas’ first.”   
He didn't seem phased by Seans rude words.

Finns biggest mistake was to laugh…

“Is this a joke to you?? Do you understand just how much this has hurt me? What you did?” 

Finn laughed a little and showed off his broken arm. 

“Hurt me a lot more.” 

Another joke. 

Finn really sucks at reading a room. 

Sean glared at him. 

“Oh come on, sweetie! Its Christmas Eve! I got out of the hospital early, and I wanted to come say hi! I wanted to try and come make right by your family and see if i could get another chance-“ 

“Another chance?? Jesus Finn!!” 

“...I’m confused…” 

“There is nothing to make right, Finn!! That’s now how this works!! You can't just SHOW UP on my doorstep after all this and pretend you can fix this!!” 

“...well why not?” 

“Finn!” 

“Sean! What do you want from me?? I've never done this before! I've never had someone like you in my life! I don’t know the protocol or whatever! I just want everything to be ok again...and the only way to make everything ok again is to like...fix it.” Finn smiled sweetly again at Sean. Sean didn't smile back. 

“And how are we supposed to do that Finn?” Sean growled. 

“....talk it out? I could tell them just-....just what we have and how you make me feel and-” He shrugged. 

“Finn! You’re acting like me and you are together and are some kind of couple! Like this is just one little fight that can so easily be swiped under the rug with a nice hand shake and a kiss not the cheek!! I have no idea what we are but I know we aren’t that!! I-....I don’t want that!!! This is way too complicated!! Way too complicated for you clearly!!” 

Finn didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t understand...he thought they kind of were together...that's what made this different. He also didn’t understand where this anger had grown. 

It might have been something about that they were drawing attention, and it could have been the emotional and mental torture that Sean had been battling that was hurting him so badly it was getting to him and making him have this outburst. Maybe it was that Finn was kind of an easy target. Maybe sean thought somehow if Finn wasn’t here his family situation wouldn’t be so horrible anymore and all this pain could stop. 

“You’re just some dude I met on the street like a week ago and your acting like we are high school sweethearts!!! I don’t- I-“ then Sean said something he instantly regretted. 

“I don't love you!!” 

“.....but-....you said you felt the connection too-“

“Every teenager has that connection!!! It’s called “horny”   
I’m not special!! And you aren’t special to me!!   
I’m not in love with you!!!   
In fact, because of you, my life has been HELL! My dad doesn't trust me to leave me alone for 5 seconds, my brother won't look me in the eye because my grandparents have convinced him I’m a freak, my grandma has been legitimately crying because I’m such a ‘failure to the family’, my grandfather seems afraid to talk to me like I might give him the gay, and the neighbor is scared to let his kid come over to the house and play with daniel because god forbid the kid is even in the same room as me and contracts the gay!! If i had NEVER met you, this would have been SO much easier!! If you weren’t in my life this wouldn’t have happened!!” Sean yelled in Finn’s face in a moment of misplaced anger and violent bottled emotion.

You know those moments when words slip out....just....accidentally  
You get so emotional and you don’t know what to do and you’re standing in front of what you think is the problem that leads to this anger in the first place, and words just fall out of your face....  
And you don’t REALLY mean those words, but you have nothing else to say that you can think of....  
Now was one of those moments.

Finn felt more hurt by sean than any of the wounds he had gathered from 

Silence. For minutes that felt like hours. Horrible, deafening silence. 

Finn stepped back. He took three steps back from Sean, down the front porch steps. He kept his eyes on sean. Now Charles and Chris had their heads poking from their houses front door to get a better look and hear at what was going on in the middle of the street. 

“...you know what the worst part about all of this is, Sean Diaz? 

It’s not the hurtful words and the drama queen scene you just threw for me in front of our friends and your family and a handful of strangers....or the fact you say you feel nothing for me and I’m nothing to you....  
No...  
The problem is...

I knew it would end like this.” 

Silence as Finn backed up another 3 steps. 

“I was hopeful...

I was REALLY hopeful I was right and you WEREN’T like all the other boys...and that our connection meant something to you, like it meant to me....

But I’ve been wrong before, and I guess I was wrong again....  
Because you are just like the rest of them...

All the other boys and girls who used me the same way you did. I’m just an experiment, and a phase for boys like you who think they can hide behind their feelings and forget about it.   
But no...you’re right...somehow with my magic genitalia I turned you gay, and now I some how have ruined your life by this, and this would have never happened if I had just fucked off and not invited you to that party when we met.

But I’m gonna tell you something, and I’m telling you right now;   
After all of this, and the people like you, before you, after ALL this shit, I haven’t become a cynic....  
I haven’t.   
You of all people should know that...  
Yes...I am starting to believe now that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and kind words in exchange for sex and an hour or so of that bitter loneliness in the back of your head shutting down and giving you a break, and you can call me a sucker for that, but I don’t care....

cause I do....

believe in it...

...Love...

I wish I could fit in that mold for you Sean....  
I wish I could be everything you want and need and more....  
But apparently I can’t be....even if I try....

Bottom line....the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everyone else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down.   
One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time...if it’s right....and they are lucky....really really lucky....  
One of them will say something....

Relationships don’t work out like this though....  
...Not for people like me and you...not like in the way they do on TV and in the movies...  
“Will they? Won’t they?” And then they finally do and they’re happy forever after....”

Finn took 3 more steps back. He mumbled to himself; “ ...give me a fuckin break…” before speaking again louder to continue to tell Sean just what was on his mind. 

“I dont know what idiotic part of me thought that was how me and you would work out…  
That we could have a happy forever after...

One night of sex that ended with you staying to cuddle unlike the rest of em? 

And I don’t know how I haven’t learned yet that boys like you don’t want boys like me.   
I don’t know how that part of me that still thinks “love is alive” and “I could possibly be one of the lucky ones if I just keep looking” isn’t dead yet....  
…

You know what? Actually...I take that back...

That’s not the worst thing about all of this....

The worst thing is that I still want to be the one who fights for us....and I want that happily ever after in a little beach house....” Finn laughed a little. 

“and I don’t think I can imagine that perfect life in our beach house without you...

That’s what hurts the most…”

Sometimes in a fight between two people who want to spend their lives together, after a screaming fit like this, one of them needs to break the silence that follows.  
Saying anything....  
Anything at all....  
Not just letting this end with screaming, then silence.....

....it’s to bad that Finn has said everything he could find and will himself to say.....and Sean was too angry, and later would find himself not knowing how to fix something as broken as what he just had broken...

So Finn left.

And Sean left too.

And no one spoke.


	20. Captan Spirit and Super Wolf have a plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry it took me so long to update. This month has been kind of hard for me....February and March...but I’m back now!! And happy to announce the next 2 chapters will be dedicated to chris and daniel!!! So get excited.  
> New chapter coming soon~ 
> 
> Enjoy~

The house was a ear shattering silence that Daniel couldn’t handle anymore. It was crushing. It was way too much.

Daniel decided to step out of the box of crippling silence, glued together by irrefutable unspoken emotion and tension that could be cut with a knife. He snuck away from his family and into the back yard, and somehow found he couldn’t escape it. 

No birds sang in the yard, as if they had known silence had been placed within the Reynolds house. The trees didn’t rustle with wind, as no wind blew. The sloshing of car tires driving down the streets of slushy snow did not sound, as no cars drove down the street. 

Daniel felt like his chest was tight. 

He was still processing the long speech from his brother, the speech form Finn from the market, the look on his brothers face when he shut the door on Finn and turned away. 

His mind had yet to wrap around the idea or concept of the relationship, prior to a few days ago he had no idea was. He stood there. 

He looked at the sky. 

He looked at his feet in the snow. 

For the first time in 9 years, Daniel was starting to understand just how truly fragile life and relationships can be. 

He thought of his mom and dad. He thought of his grandma and grandpa. He thought of Sean and Finn. 

He thought of his mom…

He looked back to the sky. 

He remembers veugly when he was 6, and Sean was 13, once walking in on Sean and his father on the couch, huddled together. Sean cried into his fathers chest silently as Daniel toddled over. 

On the coffee table in front of his brother and his dad, laid a picture of a slightly unfamiliar woman he barely recognized as his own mother, his father, his brother as a little boy, and himself as a baby in the arms of his father. 

This, he would later know, was one of the last pictures the family would ever take together. Daniel had just been born, and they were standing as a family in front of what he would later come to know as his grandparents house. 

They all smiled so wide. Bright and gleaming in the early April morning sun. 

Daniel looked from the picture to his dad and his brother as Sean quietly sobbed, and Esteban held back tears to try and be a rock for his son.  
Not knowing what to do, or really what was going on, he climbed up into his father's lap, squished himself between his dad and brother, and laid his little head on Sean's heaving chest. 

“....what happened to mama?” Daniel remembers asking. 

Sean replayed spitefully before their father could.  
“She hated us, so she ran away like a coward.” 

“Sean…” Esteban said in a somber, quiet voice. “You know that's not true…” 

“Yes it is.” Sean said, whipping his face of tears that refused to seize no matter how desperately he wished they would. 

Today was a warm day in may. It was Mother’s Day. 

Sean had just gotten home from school, where a bully had started making fun of sean for his mom ditching them. He said things like ‘yeah, i would have ditched your family too if I was here, spic’ and ‘I dont know how she stayed around you so long! You’re such a pussy and your family is a bunch of dirty beaners”. This would be one of Daniels's first lessons in just how cruel kids could be, willing to use anything they could get their hands on to tear another person down for no reason other than ‘I felt like it’. 

Both Sean and Daniel at this age did not have the concept that some kids only do things like that for attention, or to get out misplaced anger or stress that most likely came from home…

“She loved you both very very much-“ esteban began. 

“Then why did she run away from us?? She must not have loved us that much.” 

“Sean, she just-....she had a lot to figure out, and she needed to go figure it out on her own.” 

Sean just shook his head. He hadn’t cried when the bully had said nasty things. He had simply walked away, like his dad taught him too. It would be years from then that Sean would lose out to hormonal rage and start getting into fights.  
But now that he was home, in the quiet comfort of his house, away from the world, where almost no one could find him, he let himself cry. 

Esteban petted his eldest son's head with a sigh and held the hand of his youngest son. 

Daniel thought of that now as he looked down at the snow. 

He felt a pang of pain in his chest.  
Was that just how this was? Were relationships always doomed to end in pain and tears?? 

All of those thoughts went away though when he heard the bang of next-door’s back door close. 

Daniel looked over, and he saw Chris. 

Chris stopped in his tracks. 

Daniel stayed put. 

…

Chris waved with a small smile. 

Daniel smiled back and finally found it in himself to move his feet. He walked over to the broken fence and Chris met him there. 

Shyly, Chris spoke first. 

“....H-....Hi…” 

“Hey…” Daniel replied softly. 

“Do uh-....Do you-“ 

“You’re cape is caught in your jeans…” 

Chris looked behind him, twisting his body to see before pulling the red fabric away.  
“So it is…” He said with a red flush of embarrassment. 

Daniel just laughed.  
Chris smiled, and Daniel’s laugh made him giggle too. 

Eventually the boys stopped laughing though and couldn’t find it in themselves to look at the other. Daniel knew Chris must have been judging him and his family for the outburst on the steps they had witnessed not even an hour ago. Chris knew what Daniel thought he knew, but unlike his father, wasn’t worried about all that. 

Chris kind of knew it would be weird or maybe even rude to ask Daniel if he was ok…so instead, Chris asked something else. 

“You wanna come play?” 

“...y-...you really want to play with me??” 

“Of course I do...Captain Spirit can't fight crime without his sidekick, Super wolf.” 

“Hey! I’m not your sidekick!” 

…

They both laughed. 

Once the giggles died down, Daniel spoke again. 

“....would your dad really be ok with me coming over to play?” 

Chris frowned as he knew the answer was probably not. And even if it was a yes, it was 1 in the afternoon...Charles was probably trashed, and Chris didn't need Daniel seeing that. 

“Probably not…” 

“....then what do we do?” 

They stood there at the fence for several minutes.  
The, Chis’s face lit up with Idea. 

“What?” Daniel asked. 

“I have an idea...but it might be a liiiiiittle crazy” 

“There isn’t anything too crazy for Superwolf.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m not scared if you aren’t.” 

Chris smiled.  
That’s all Daniel needed, to make up his mind that he was on board for whatever Chris had to say. 

“I think I know two people who might need rescuing. And I think Captain Spirit and Super Wolf might just be the only two who can save them~” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Your dad said that Finn guy was hanging out down by the train tracks...right?”


	21. Calls from out of town

Fluffy white snow covered the forest floor in a thick blanket. Painted and dressed, Captain Spirit and Super Wolf now were ready to set off on their voyage, to the train tracks. 

Trudging through snow in their boots, Chris led the way. 

“Ok, so, here’s the plan,“ Chris began. “ We are going to go down to the train tracks, and we are going to find-...who?” 

“Finn. His name is Finn and he has a couple of friends...one is named Cassidy, and she is really nice...hard to miss in a crowd, so that will make this a little easier.” Daniel informed.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, she has this weird hair style...it's mostly purple, but there is a little pink in it...and she has it shaved partially….and Ike, there are beads and bottle caps in his hair…? Its weird…”

“Unlike any hair I’ve ever see, that's for sure.” Chris laughed. 

Daniel laughed too “yeah...her hair is weird but its kind of oddly pretty….? Like...I don't know how to explain it…” 

Chris laughed a little again but it seemed more forced. He didn't seem that interested or comfortable talking about Daniel and pretty girls. 

...Anyway...The plan. We find Finn, we convince him to come back with us to the house, and we have Sean and him meet in the back yard while we distract your dad, and the Reynolds.....is anyone else going to be there?” 

“Well...I think I remember reading about a few more people-“ 

“Reading?” Chris questioned. 

Daniel scratched the back of his neck nervously with one hand. “Yeah...I-...I kind of looked….through Sean’s phone…” He didn't seem too proud to admit it.  
“When dad took it away from him, I saw him hide it on top of a shelf above the washer and dryer…  
I just climbed on the machines and snatched the phone.  
He had texted his best friend, this amazing girl named Lyla, and told her everything.” The light in Daniels eyes of attraction, passion and admiration at just the name of Lyla, made Chris a little upset..but he couldn’t place why.

“How did you get IN the phone though?” Chris asked, looking to him. 

“Oh, Sean uses the same password for everything. He doesn’t think I know it, but I figured it out. It’s 42069.” 

“....why?” Chris questioned again at the strange numbers that had no value to him.  
Daniel just shrugged. 

The boys continued to walk, looking forward down their dirty path through the skinny bare trees.  
Comfortable silence floated between them, and like magnets, the two had slowly slid shoulder to shoulder as they walked. 

When their shoulders nudged gently the two simply giggled. When their sneakers knocked they laughed. They snapped jokes back and forth, observations about the woods and the shape of trees. But when their fingers gently scraped against one another, Chris looked to Daniel with confused eyes. It had been an accident, and Daniel clearly hadn’t been aware of it, as he still had his eyes squeezed close as he laughed at a particular observation Chris had made about a tree looking like an evil witch.

Chris just stared at him...and time stopped racing forward. 

Soft flaked shimmered on closed eyelashes. Lightly tanned brown skin was flushed with coldness. Lips turned up and cracked, slightly parted to show teeth as Daniel laughed. 

His eyes wouldn’t look away, they were glued and every spike in his brain poked at him, trying to make him remember this...remember him...because soon, Daniel wouldn’t be here anymore…

Sure it was snowing, but it was only just now that Chris began to feel cold with an emotion he didn't understand. Worry? Mixed with loneliness? Possibly a sting of yearning, even though daniel was close enough to see his breath coming out in soft puffs. 

Before he could verbally respond though, Chris had yelled out in surprise as he tummbled forward. He had been looking at Daniel rather than where he was going and he had tripped on a rock. 

Falling onto his stomach and scraping his knee, Chris yelped out in pain. Daniel was at his side before he could even blink, helping him sit up. 

Chris’s eyes stung as he watched his skinned knee push red blood out onto the plush white snow. Daniel frowned and what hurt worse than the scrape, to Chris, was that look on Daniels face when it had been in such a sweet smile just a minute ago. 

Chris refused to let himself cry, wiping his eyes and pleading to convince daniel he was ok and that he has no need to worry, but Daniels eyes stayed the same worried shade they had been. 

Their voiced bickering back and forth about what to do, then were cut through by a soft and timid voice. 

“Hey...are-...are you two ok??” 

Looking up from one another, the boys saw a skinny man, scruffy and bearded, arms cluttered with sticks and branches. He seemed severely underdressed for this weather. 

Daniel looked at Chris, and Chris looked at Daniel. They both looked back at the stranger. Do they dare do the classically wrong thing and talk to, possibly even trust a stranger. 

It was a hard decision for two small, young boys, but with an exchanged glance, and a look back at the man, they both had silently agreed. 

This guy was possibly the farthest thing from threatening in the world. He was so skinny and lanky, soft spoken and sweet, you could guess he was 90 pounds, wet. He didn't seem to have any weapons and even if he did, his arms were full of kindling. 

Daniel spoke first. 

“U-um...y-yeah we are ok, my friend just tripped, and fell...he scraped his knee pretty bad.” 

Chris mumbled about how it's not that bad, but the stranger and Daniel did not acknowledge it. 

Looking around the stranger took a few steps closer. 

“Are you two out here all alone?? Or is someone with you??” 

The boys hesitated again, weighing pros and cons of telling a mystery man that you were all alone and defenseless in the woods as two small boys. 

Daniel hesitated but spoke again. 

“I-....Its just us…” 

“...well-...do you guys like...live around here somewhere? This is pretty far out from a lot of houses…” 

“We are on our way to someone…” 

“Who?” The stranger asked. 

One more look was exchanged before chris spoke this time. 

“His name is Finn?” 

“Finn?” The man questioned. “Tall guy? Skinny? Dreadlocks and face tattoos? Three triangles under the eye??” 

Both boys' eyes lit up.  
“Yes!! Exactly!!” 

“Well...if you guys will let me I can take you to him...o-or bring him to you!” The man quickly added, realizing he didn't want to come off as a creepy man trying to lead two boys further into the woods. 

Before Daniel could decide with Chris if they took the chance, Daniel heard a familiar voice. 

“Jacob!! Come on, man!! Its colder than hell out here!!” A southern voice yelled out, phrase making little sense logically. 

“Cassidy!” Daniel said in excitement. He didn't think he would be so excited to see-...well...hear her, but anything is better than a stranger. 

There was a pause. 

“....Sean??” She called out. 

Daniel scowled. They sounded nothing alike! How could she compare him to his stupid big brother. Daniel HATED being compared to his brother. 

“No!! Daniel!!” Daniel yelled back. 

Cassidy paused again before she realized who he was, and then with a loud “Oh!!” Cassidy came running. “Daniel!!” Cassidy seemed to burst through the trees. 

Daniels smile came back, and with his, so did Chris’s. 

“What’s going on? Why are you out here? What’s with the little bloody boy?” 

“We came to find Finn...and this is Chris, he fell” Daniel replied. 

Cassidy looked over both boys and let out a slight hiss of pain. “Ouch, looks bad…”  
She came over and scooped up the little boy, taking him by surprise, having him yell out again in surprise.  
“Let’s get you two back to the camp and clean you up.” 

Daniel had that look in his eyes again, admiration for Cassidy, and Chris frowned. “Jeez Cassidy, you’re strong!” 

“I can walk on my own..” Chris muttered before Cassidy spoke up again.  
“Thanks little man! Let’s go” 

Upon showing up to the abandoned boxcar, the small group of four were assaulted by the sound of annoyed yelling. Well...it wasn’t yelling, but it was the strained, growing voice of a man too tired to yell, but not too lacking that he isn't going to argue. 

Chris and Daniel saw two more people standing outside of the box car, sharing what looked like a cigarette but smelled like garbage.  
It was the boxy woman, with cropped hair, pulled up into a spiky ponytail who greeted the group first with a disgusted “Kids? Why the hell did you bring back two kids...are they going in tonight’s box fire too??” 

Next to her, leaning against the car was a skinny African American man who couldn’t hide his little laugh and the woman’s displeased look. He passed the messily rolled cigarette-like object to her, coughing through his laugh. Puffs of smoke poured from his mouth with each coughed chuckle. 

He patted his chest, as if trying to push out all the smoke, before speaking. 

“Hanna, you cant-...you can't say shit like that. It's not cool.” He giggled. 

Cassidy rolled her eyes and laughed a little at both people. “Oh don't worry. They’re here for Finn, not you.” 

“Oh….are they here to drop off some more kush?” 

“Kush?” Chris questioned, looking to Daniel. Daniel shrugged again. 

“No-“ Cassidy began before the girl named Hanna cut her off.  
“-then Finn’s not gonna want to see them.” 

“It’s Sean’s little brother though-“

“Then he’s DEFINITELY not gonna want to see him!” 

“Hanna, don't be a gatekeeper. Let Finn decide if he wants to talk to them.” 

“Alright. You dont wanna listen to me? Have fun talking with Finn after he gets off the phone with his Dad.” Hanna retorted, putting emphasis on ‘dad’. 

Cassidy tensed up. 

“....why would-...why would he-“ 

“Finn’s mom got out.” 

“What do you mean she got out?” 

“Good behavior and a bribe from good ol’ mr. McNammera.” 

“How did he get the money to-“ Cassidy was cut off by Hanna raising an eyebrow. He face screamed to Cassidy ‘Dumbass, what do you think??’

Cassidy frowned.  
Silence fell over the group and they all collectively listened into Finn’s grumbled argument over the phone. 

The train track car didn't counsel much of his voice, instead it made it louder, and echoed. 

“—Mom isn't stable enough too—  
yeah? Yeah is that true? Tell it to my neck scar.  
—...no.  
—Why would I—....wait, she did?  
...Dad, I don't want to see her.  
I especially don't want to see you!!  
...Being alone with her, even without you, is NOT going to change anything, if anything, it makes it worse.  
Oh? Yeah? I’m just a pussy, well next time you see her, and she snorts a line and then tries to stab you to death? Call me. Until then, fuck off. You have no idea—  
Yeah! I know she’s my mother, but it doesn't mean I HAVE to love her!!  
—oh come on dont even—“ Finn sighed angrily.  
“Look, I can't go over there even if I wanted to. Unlike you, I have work.  
….fine, sure, ‘Away Arizona’ ill remember it.  
Good.  
Bye.  
DO NOT CALL AG—...god damn it.” 

They heard Finn shut off his phone and a loud smash of an electronic. 

A disheveled sigh spilled from Finn and no one moved, and they heard Finn hop down from the train car. He wondered where he knew Hanna and Penny were standing. 

He looked tired…  
His arm cast looked dirty and well worn even if it has only been on a day…  
His eye was still shining blue and purple shades from where he got hit. A large bandage on his cheek covered a cut from his accident. His lip still was split open, shimmering new blood. He must have reopened the deep, stiched up cut when he was talking. 

Easy to say, Finn looked the way he felt. 

Like absolute shit.

He looked around when he got back there and just sighed again, after he had accidentally locked eyes with Daniel.  
He pinched the bridge of his scared nose. not wanting to confront the two small boys. He turned right back around, and went to walk back into the train car...but he didn't...he just kept on walking down the tracks. 

Hanna was right...in a way.  
It's not that Finn didn't want to see them…  
It’s that he knew, right now, he couldn’t handle it.


End file.
